S01E08 - The Grasshopper Experiment

No: 8  |  Season: 1   Episode: 8  |  Air Date: 2007-11-12  |  Runtime: mins

Exactly the kind of spirit with which Princess Punchali led the monkeys to freedom.

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Summary

When Raj's parents set him up on a blind date, he finds he can talk to women with the aid of alcohol.

Director and Writers

Director: Ted Wass
Writers: Story by: Dave Goetsch & Steven Molaro / Teleplay by: Lee Aronsohn & Robert Cohen

Script

Script: S01E08 - The Grasshopper Experiment

Quotes

Leonard: Okay, now do you really need the Honorary Justice League of America membership card?
Sheldon: It's been in every wallet I've owned since I was five.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: It says, "Keep this on your person at all times". It's right here under Batman's signature.

Leonard: So you're not going to see her again?
Sheldon: Why would I see her again? I already have a dentist.

Leonard: Wait a minute. What's the plan here? Lets say he meets her, he likes her, they get married. What's he gonna do, stay drunk for the rest of his life?
Howard: Worked for my parents.

Raj: Where did my life go, Penny?
(He doesn't realise it, but he's actually talking to Penny for the first time)

Penny: Sheldon, what are you going to have?
Sheldon: I'll have a Diet Coke.
Penny: Okay, can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine. I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's, um, Rum and Coke without the Rum.
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: So, Coke.
Sheldon: Yes... And would you make it Diet?
Penny: There's a can in the fridge.
Sheldon: A Cuba Libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny: Then swim to Cuba.
Sheldon: Bartenders are supposed to have people skills.

Sheldon: I can practically smell the lotus blossoms woven into your ebony hair.
Lalita Gupta: Well thanks. I imagine you smell very nice too.
Sheldon: I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita Gupta: Really? So do I.
Raj: But you're a dentist. He's nuts.

Lalita Gupta: So Sheldon, tell me more about this princess you say I look like.
Sheldon: It was said that the gods fashioned her eyes out of the stars and that roses were ashamed to bloom in the presence of her ruby lips.

Leonard: (Sheldon is singing "L'Chaim" at Penny's bar) I can't believe it! What got into him?
Penny: Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.
Leonard: You didn't.
Penny: Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.

Sheldon: How often does one see a beloved fictional character come to life?
Howard: Every year at Comic Con. Every day at Disneyland. You can hire Snow White to come to your house... Of course, they prefer it if you have a kid.

Leonard: I don't believe it. What's gotten into him?
Penny: Oh, just a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.

Raj: I had such plans. I had dreams. I was going to be the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics. But with a penis, of course.

Sheldon: (on the phone) This is Doctor Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the Planetarium... Well I'm sorry too, but there's just no room for you in my wallet... Yeah, I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs... Well I'll miss you too. Bye bye.

Howard: (calling Lalita pretending to be Raj) So, what are you wearing?

Wolowitz: Is it just me, or does web chatting with your clothes on seem a little pointless.

Lalita: (By phone) Hi, Rajesh. Your mother gave my mother your phone number to give to me. So, I'm calling you and... call me back. Bye!

Mrs. Koothrappali: Do you remember Lalita Gupta?
Raj: The little fat girl who used to kick me in the samosas and call me untouchable?

Penny: I need some guinea pigs.
Sheldon: O-kay, there's a lab animal supply company in Reseda you could try. But if your research is going to have human applications, may I suggest white mice instead; their brain chemistry is far closer to ours.
Penny: I swear to God, Sheldon, one day I'm going to get the hang of talking to you.
Leonard: His mom's been saying that for years.

Raj: Haven't you been listening to me? I cannot talk to women!
Leonard: ...Um, Raj...
Wolowitz: No no, let's see how long it takes him.
Penny: Raj, you say you can't talk to women, but you've been talking to me!
Sheldon: And now we'll never know.

Leonard: The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition.
Sheldon: With certain obvious exceptions. Suicide, for example.

Leonard: Well Penny, we'd love to help you, but Raj is going through some stuff right now, besides, he doesn't drink, so.
Leonard: (Raj whispers in Leonard's ear, Leonard responds) Really?
Leonard: (to Penny) Um, Raj is going through some stuff right now, and he'd like to take up drinking.

Penny: (Penny is practicing mixing drinks) Okay, who's next
Howard: I'd like to try a slippery nipple.
Penny: Okay, you're cut off.

Raj: (after Sheldon leaves with Lalita) What just happened?
Leonard: Beats the hell out of me.
Howard: I'll tell you what happened. I just learned how to pick up Indian chicks.

Raj: (Raj walks in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment holding his laptop open, with his parents on the screen via a webcam) Leonard, may I present, live from New Delhi, Doctor and Mrs Vyan Koothrappali.
Leonard: (waves cheerfully) Hi!
Dr. Koothrappali: Lift up the camera! I'm looking at his crotch!

Raj: (to Sheldon) If you do not stop hitting on my lady, you will feel the full extent of my wrath!
Leonard: I'm not hitting on her!
Lalita: And I am not your lady!
Wolowitz: And you have no wrath.

Howard: I bet they love "Scrubs".
Sheldon: What's there not to love.

Raj: Ever since I was a little boy, my father wanted me to be a gynecologist, like him. How can I be a gynecologist, I can barely look a woman in the *eye*!

Wolowitz: The last girl my mom set me up with had a mustache and a vestigial tail.

Raj: Go ahead, tell my parents why they won't have any grandchildren.
Sheldon: How would I know? Do you have a low sperm count?
Raj: This has nothing to do with my sperm count.
Mrs. Koothrappali: You are wearing the boxers that we sent you, aren't you?
Raj: Yes, Mumi.
Mrs. Koothrappali: Because you know what happens to the samosas when you wear tighty-whities.
Raj: Can we please stop talking about my testicles? Sheldon, tell them what you did.
Sheldon: What did I do?
Leonard: You left with his date. Friends don't do that to each other.

Notes and Trivia

Sheldon's request for a Virgin Cuba Libre made with Diet Coke is reminiscent of the famous scene in Five Easy Pieces (1970) in which Bobby Dupea (Jack Nicholson) wants a side order of wheat toast, but the waitress tells him they don't serve side orders of wheat toast. Bobby then orders a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, but asks the waitress to hold the mayonnaise, butter, lettuce, and the chicken. He then tells her, "...bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules."

This episode was originally titled The Slippery-Nipple Effect.

This episode was the final one to air before the 2007-2008 Writers Guild of America strike, which put a hiatus on television production for three to four months.

This is the first episode where Raj Koothrappali is able to speak to a woman after imbibing alcohol. Up until this time (for the first seven episodes), Raj didn't drink. But he is so upset about being pressured by his parents to get married, that he decides to take up drinking (when Penny wants to practice making drinks for her new bartender job). Penny makes Raj a grasshopper cocktail, and after taking a sip, he begins talking to Penny without even realizing what is happening. When Penny points out that he is talking to her, Raj adopts the habit of drinking alcohol whenever he needs to speak with a woman.

Goofs

None

Cast

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