S02E05 - The Euclid Alternative

No: 22  |  Season: 2   Episode: 5  |  Air Date: 2008-10-20  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: Your check engine light is on. Penny: Mm-hmm. Sheldon: Typically that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine.

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Summary

Sheldon annoys the gang when Leonard can't drive him to and from work, so they try to teach him how to drive.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Bill Prady & Steven Molaro / Teleplay by: Lee Aronsohn & Dave Goetsch

Script

Script: S02E05 - The Euclid Alternative

Quotes

Howard: I haven't configured it yet. Let's see, Bradly tank, transport truck, Batmobile...
Sheldon: Oooo
Leonard: No!

Sheldon: (about a driving simulation) Now, are there airbags?
Leonard: You don't need airbags!
Sheldon: But what if a simulated van rear-ends me?
Penny: I'll hit you in the face with a pillow.

Octavia: Application?
Sheldon: I'm actually more of a theorist.
Howard: The application in your hand, give it to her.

Sheldon: But, how am I going to get to work?
Leonard: Take the bus.
Sheldon: I can't take the bus anymore. They don't have seat belts, and they won't let you lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords.
Leonard: You tried to lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords?
Sheldon: I didn't try. I succeeded. For some reason, it alarmed the other passengers and I was asked to de-bus.

Sheldon: Euclid avenue is shorter as the crow flies, but it has speed bumps, which appreciably increase point-to-point drive time, making it the less efficient choice.
(Penny glares at Sheldon)
Sheldon: But you have the con.

Howard: Sheldon, why are you arguing with the DMV?
Sheldon: How else are they going to learn? Look, question two: "When are roadways most slippery?" Now, okay, there are three answers, none of which are correct. The correct answer is when covered by a film of liquid sufficient to reduce the coefficient of static friction between the tire and the road to essentially zero, but not so deep as to introduce a new source of friction.
Octavia: (approving his permit) Here's your learner's permit. Go away.
Sheldon: But I'm not done. I... I have many additional concerns about these questions.
Octavia: Don't make me climb over this counter.
Penny: (leading Sheldon away) All right, come on. Come on.
Octavia: Next!
Sheldon: Aced it.

Leonard: Didn't I tell you I'd be working nights and that you'd have to make other arrangements?
Sheldon: You did.
Leonard: And?
Sheldon: I didn't... Let's go.

Penny: (Sheldon doesn't have a driving license) Why didn't you just get a license at sixteen, like everybody else?
Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: Examining perturbative amplitudes in n=4 supersymmetric theories, leading to a reexamination of the ultraviolet properties of multi-loop n=8 supergravity, using modern twistor theory.
Penny: Well, how about when you were seventeen?

Sheldon: You saw nothing!

Sheldon: Your check engine light is on.
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Sheldon: Typically that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: It's fine, it's been on for, like, a month.
Sheldon: Well, actually, that would be all the more reason to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: Sheldon, it's fine.
Sheldon: If it were fine, the light wouldn't be on. That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine.
Penny: Uh, maybe the light's broken.
Sheldon: Is there a "check the check engine light light"?

Leonard: Sheldon, I was up all night using the new free-electron laser for my x-ray diffraction experiment.
Sheldon: Did he laser accidentally burn out your retinas?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then you can drive. Let's go.

Sheldon: I still don't see why I need a driver's license. Albert Einstein never had a driver's license.
Howard: Yeah, but Albert Einstein didn't make me wet myself at 40 miles an hour.
Penny: Yeah, and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts.

Sheldon: Didn't you recently state that you and I are friends?
Penny: Yes, Sheldon. We are friends.
Sheldon: Then I hereby invoke what I'm given to understand is an integral part of the implied covenant of friendship.
Penny: ?
Sheldon: The favor.
Penny: Oh, dear God!
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was interrupting your morning prayers.

Sheldon: Good morning, Leonard!
Leonard: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: We're going to have to stop by Pottery Barn on the way to work. I bought these Star Wars sheets, but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me.

Leonard: You're a big boy, you'll figure it out.
Sheldon: Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Now take me to return my Star Wars sheets!

Sheldon: Studies have shown that performing tasks such as eating, talking on the cellphone or drinking coffee while driving reduces one's reaction time by the same factor as an ounce of alcohol.
Penny: Do you have any alcohol?
Sheldon: Of course not.
Penny: Too bad.

Sheldon: Well, no, now, I'm not going to go so far as to say that I represent a distinct new stage in humankind, you know, a Homo Novis, if you will, no, that's for anthropologists to decide. But I am convinced that the reason I cannot master the plebeian task of driving is because I'm not meant to.

Leonard: Since he won't take the bus and he's too evolved to drive, he decided it would be easier to just sleep in his office and shower in the radiation lab until I'm finished with my experiment.
Raj: But you finished your experiment a week ago.
Leonard: (grins) Yep.

Leonard: Penny's taking you to the DMV; I'm going to bed.
Sheldon: Why Penny?
Leonard: Because rock breaks scissors. Good night.

Sheldon: Excuse me, but I have some concerns about these questions.
Octavia: Look at that sign up there.
Sheldon: Yes?
Octavia: Does it say I give a damn?
Sheldon: No.
Octavia: That's because I don't.

Leonard: (Sheldon's on a driving simulator and it's a disaster) How'd you manage to get on the second floor of the Glendale Galleria?
Sheldon: I don't know. I was on the Pasadena freeway and missed my exit, flew off the overpass, and one thing led to another.
Leonard: Maybe you wanna give it a rest and try again tomorrow.
Sheldon: No. I quit.
(gets off the simulator but forgets to turn it off)
Leonard: (sounds of a horrifying crash, then various animals) Oh, the pet store.
Sheldon: Remind me to compliment Wolowitz on the software, it's amazingly detailed.

Notes and Trivia

Gives a rare camera view of Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, from the vantage of the hallway that's normally seen to the back right, going to the bedrooms, allowing us to see the "4th wall" in the front of the apartment the camera normally sees through.

Sheldon complains about the check engine light in Penny's car for the first time. It becomes a running joke in the rest of the series. The first time is in episode 2.5 The Euclid Alternative (2008), later mentioning it again in episodes 2.14 The Financial Permeability (2009), 3.8 The Adhesive Duck Deficiency (2009), and 3.21 The Plimpton Stimulation (2010). Leonard's mother (Christine Baranski) similarly makes a point of this observation in episode 3.11 The Maternal Congruence (2009), as does Amy Farrah Fowler (Mayim Bialik) in episode 4.1 The Robotic Manipulation (2010). Penny says, "The light has been on since I bought the car," in episode 3.8 The Adhesive Duck Deficiency (2009). The car eventually dies and Leonard buys her a new one.

Sheldon is correct in his assertion that Second Street is the most common street name in America. This is according to The National League of Cities which lists 10,866 streets with that name. First Street is actually third on the list behind Third Street.

The first proper appearance of Sheldon's signature triple knock: "Knock-knock-knock, Penny? Knock-knock-knock, Penny? Knock-knock-knock, Penny?" He used a similar knock in The Loobenfeld Decay (2008), but it consisted of four knocks followed by a name, rather than three knocks.

The last scene is a parody of The Phantom of the Opera (1925).

While Leonard (Johnny Galecki) is watching Sheldon (Jim Parsons) drive the simulator if you listen closely you can hear Leonard say Jim, which is Sheldon's real name.

Years after appearing together in this episode, Jim Parsons and Octavia Spencer starred alongside each other in Hidden Figures (2016), which was nominated for three Academy Awards, including Best Picture.

Goofs

None

Cast

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