S02E12 - The Killer Robot Instability

No: 29  |  Season: 2   Episode: 12  |  Air Date: 2009-01-12  |  Runtime: mins

Howard: (singing) Marcy Grossman is sunshine on a cloudy day... when it's cold outside Marcy Grossman is the month of May.

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Summary

Howard becomes depressed after Penny makes a cruel statement about his love life, while the rest of the guys prepare for a grudge killer robot duel against an obnoxious colleague at the university.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Bill Prady & Richard Rosenstock / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Daley Haggar

Script

Script: S02E12 - The Killer Robot Instability

Quotes

Mrs. Wolowitz: Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework?
Howard Wolowitz: I don't have homework. I'm a grown man with a masters degree in engineering!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Excuse me, Mr. Fancypants. Want me to get you a Popsicle?
Howard Wolowitz: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry! All that's left is green!
Howard Wolowitz: You make me want to kill myself!

Howard Wolowitz: Oh yeah, that door got the full Monte.

Howard Wolowitz: There's an awards banquet and a dance afterward. Perhaps you'd like to come with me. I know the other fellows would be very excited to see a girl there.
Penny: How is it supposed to be a dance if I'm the only girl?
Howard Wolowitz: Well, that may be a slight exaggeration. You'd be the only *doable* girl.
Penny: You're a pig, Howard.
Howard Wolowitz: How is doable anything but a compliment?

Howard Wolowitz: Once again, Penny and I have begun our little tango. The carnal repartee, the erotic to and fro. But as delicious as the appetizer might be, at some point we have to succumb and eat the entree while it's still...
(mimes sizzle)
Howard Wolowitz: ... hot.
Leonard Hofstadter: I'm begging you, stop talking.
Penny: Normally, I can just ignore you. I get it. You're a little peculiar, like Sheldon.
Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me, Penny, but in this room, you are the one who is peculiar.
Penny: You may be right. But back to you. I know you think you're just some kind of smooth-talking ladies man, but the truth is you're just pathetic and creepy.
Howard Wolowitz: So, what are you saying?
Penny: I am saying that it is not a compliment to call me doable. It is not sexy to stare at my ass and say "Ooh, that must be jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that." And we are not dancing a tango, we are not to-ing and fro-ing, othing's going to happen between us! Ever!
Howard Wolowitz: Wait a minute. We're not flirting, you're serious.
Penny: Flirting? You think I'm flirting with you? No woman is ever going to flirt with you! You're just going to grow old and die alone!

Sheldon Cooper: Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot?
Rajesh Koothrappali: As with my father, I both love and fear it.

Leonard Hofstadter: Don't take this as a criticism, but you do kind of have that overexposed-to-gamma-rays thing going on?
Penny: What does that mean?
Leonard Hofstadter: You know, like most of the time you're the easygoing Bruce Banner, but then when you get angry, you kind of turn into like, you know... Grrr!
Penny: I turn into a bear?
Leonard Hofstadter: Seriously? Gamma rays? Bruce Banner? You didnt get The Incredible Hulk from that?

Rajesh Koothrappali: Okay, what shall be first to taste the wrath of Monte?
Leonard Hofstadter: Maybe we should start small.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Okay, ooh, perhaps today's the day we finally find out what's inside the Magic 8-Ball.
Sheldon Cooper: I did it when I was four. It's an icosahedral die floating in tinted blue water.

Penny: Do you think that sometimes you try too hard?
Howard Wolowitz: Look at me. What chance do I have if I don't try too hard?

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, there's a blonde girl, Patsy, here to see you.
Howard Wolowitz: Who?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Okay, now she's saying it's Penny.
Howard Wolowitz: I don't want to talk to her.
Penny: Hey.
Howard Wolowitz: Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: She ran past me. Was I supposed to tackle her?

Sheldon Cooper: You're overlooking the fact that we now know what we're up against. We can now modify Monte so he's prepared.
Leonard Hofstadter: You want to prepare him? Install a bladder and a pair of shorts so he can wet himself.

Sheldon Cooper: We don't need Wolowitz. Engineering is merely the slow, younger brother of physics. Watch and learn.
(pause)
Sheldon Cooper: Do either of you know how to open a tool box?

Howard Wolowitz: All right, that's the last servo. Behold, the Mobile Omnidirectional Neutralization and Termination Eradicator, or
Howard Wolowitz, Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon Cooper, Rajesh Koothrappali: Monte.
(pronounced monty)
Howard Wolowitz: Featuring one articulated razor-sharp killing saw, one polycarbonate grinding and flipping wheel, steel armor-plate exo-skeleton top and bottom, and enough horsepower to drive a hundred-and-ten pounds of mechanized death from zero to holy crap in four-point-eight seconds.

Sheldon Cooper: We've accepted the challenge. We can't run away from a fight.
Leonard Hofstadter: Oh please, we've spent our whole lives running away from fights. Personally, I can squeeze through a hole in a fence half my size.

(Kripke challenges the guys to a robot duel)
Leonard Hofstadter: Barry, we can't fight you tomorrow. Our engineer is incapacitated.
Barry Kripke: What's wwong with him?
Rajesh Koothrappali: He's depressed because he's pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls.
Barry Kripke: We're ALL pathetic and cweepy, and can't get girws. That's why we fight wobots. If you'we not thewe, you'ww be exposed to widicuwe
Rajesh Koothrappali: I'm curious, what part of America is that accent from?

Sheldon Cooper: Your robot is inferior, and it will be defeated by ours, because ours exceeds yours in both design and execution. Also, I'm given to understand that your mother is overweight.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Oh, snap.
Sheldon Cooper: Now of course, if that is a result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony I withdraw that comment.

Penny: Your mom seems nice.
Howard Wolowitz: People move away from her on the bus.

(last lines)
Sheldon Cooper: So, what do you think, Howard? I-it's not that bad, right?
Howard Wolowitz: Ah, nah, a little electrical tape, some solder... Are you insane! I've seen space probes that crashed into the desert that were in better shape than this.
Sheldon Cooper: You're right. Monte's gone. We'll bury him in the morning. A-a simple ceremony, I'll speak. Leonard, you'll play your cello.
Penny: Sheldon, honey, aren't you getting a little carried away? I mean, it's just a toy robot.
Sheldon Cooper: Just a toy robot...
(he runs to his room)
Leonard Hofstadter: Penny.
Penny: I know; I got it.
(she goes to Sheldon's room)
Penny: Sheldon! I'm sorry!
Howard Wolowitz: Well,
(pointing to his bandaged nose)
Howard Wolowitz: don't get the wrong idea. The way I see it I'm halfway to pity sex.

(the guys are about to test their robot on a toaster oven)
Sheldon Cooper: This is an auspicious moment. Like Robert Oppenheimer or Neil Armstrong, we need the appropriate words to mark this historic scientific event.
Rajesh Koothrappali: How about "Die, toaster, die!"?
Leonard Hofstadter: That'll do it.

Notes and Trivia

First appearance of Barry Kripke.

In this episode, Leonard says the name of his childhood bully was Jimmy Mullins. Jimmy Mullins was mentioned in Season 4 of Roseanne (1988), the same season Johnny Galecki joined the cast of the show.

The "Southern California Robot Fighting League" is a fictitious robot fighting championship. However, BattleBots is a real televised competition that aired from 2000-2002 and was reprised in 2015. This 'The Big Bang Theory' episode aired on Jan. 12, 2009 during the hiatus between the two series runs.

Goofs

None

Cast

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