S02E15 - The Maternal Capacitance

No: 32  |  Season: 2   Episode: 15  |  Air Date: 2009-02-09  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: Normally, I'd feel the same way, but based on everything I've observed about us, I can't help but speculate we'd be very good together. Beverly: True. I've had a similar observation. Certainly something I could never do with my husband.

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Summary

Sheldon hits it off with Leonard's psychoanalyst mother, but she drives Leonard and Penny to the bottle.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady / Teleplay by: Richard Rosenstock & Steven Molaro

Script

Script: S02E15 - The Maternal Capacitance

Quotes

Sheldon: Can I make you a cup of tea?
Beverly: I doubt it! But if anyone has a chance, it's probably you.

Beverly: Your Uncle Floyd died.
Leonard: Oh my God! What happened?
Beverly: His heart stopped beating.

Sheldon: So what do you think?
Beverly: I'm very tempted. I'm just not sure it's appropriate with my son's roommate.
Sheldon: Normally, I'd feel the same way, but based on everything I've observed about us, I can't help but speculate we'd be very good together.
Beverly: True. I've had a similar observation. Certainly something I could never do with my husband.
Sheldon: I was hesitant the first time I tried it, but I experienced an unanticipated and remarkable release of endorphins. It's quite satisfying.
Beverly: I see what you're doing. You're appealing to the neuro-scientific researcher in me.
Sheldon: You see right through me, don't you?
Beverly: Only when you're in a cat scanner.
(both laugh, Beverly snorts)
Beverly: (later)
(Sheldon and Beverly are dual singing "Any Way You Want It" on Rock Band 2)

Leonard: You can't let her get into your head.
Penny: My head? What about yours?
Leonard: It's too late for me. My head is her summer house.

Sheldon: Leonard, I had no idea your siblings were so much more successful than you.
Raj: Yeah, you're like the Jar-Jar Binks of the Hofstadter family.
Howard: (Imitating Jar-jar) Oh, meesa think yousa lookin' so-so sad.
Leonard: You know, rather than mock me, my friends might realize that this is difficult and try to help me through it.
Raj: Nope, I think mocking you is more fun.
Howard: (imitating JarJar Binks) Next time, don't yousa bring momma to work, Okee-day?
(Raj and Howard laugh)
Leonard: (Leonard's mother comes back) That was fast.
Beverly: Oh, the middle stall was occupied, I'll have to try again later.
Sheldon: It's totally understandable. In bladder voiding as in real estate, it's location, location, location.
Beverly: So where were we?
Leonard: (to his mother) Howard lives with his mother, and Raj can't speak to women unless he's drunk. Go!
Beverly: Well, that's fascinating. Selective mutism is quite rare. On the other hand, an adult Jewish male living with his mother is so common it borders on sociological clich?.
Howard: It's just temporary, I pay rent.
Leonard: He lives in the same room where his bassinet was.
Beverly: You know, both selective mutism and an inability to separate from one's mother can stem from a pathological fear of women. It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.
Howard: Say what?
(Raj whispers in Howard's ear)
Howard: That's basically what I just said!
Leonard: (to Raj) You brought your husband to work, you know the rules.
(imitating JarJar Binks)
Leonard: Meesa thinkin' yousa lookin' pretty sad now too, betcha betcha.

Beverly: (to Sheldon) Your unwillingness to accept empirical evidence suggests an attempt at flattery.

Leonard: You want to talk about not getting love from a parent - you know what I used to do when I was little for some sensation of human contact?
Penny: Yeah, you grabbed your penis and wouldn't let go. Your mother told me.
Leonard: Course she did. Anyway, that's not what I was going to say. When I was ten years old, I built a hugging machine.
Penny: A hugging machine?
Leonard: Yeah. I got a dressmaker's mannequin, I stuffed it with an electric blanket so it would be warm, and I built two radio-controlled arms that would hug me and pat my back.
Penny: Oh, that is so sad.
Leonard: You know what the saddest part was?
Penny: What?
Leonard: My father used to borrow it.

Penny: (Beverly is staring at the elevator) It's out of order.
everly: Yes, I can read the sign; I'm just pondering the implications.
Penny: I think it implies that the elevator doesn't work.

Penny: Wait, wait, she's not gonna come here looking for you, is she?
Leonard: Relax. She took Sheldon to the hospital to get a brain scan.
Penny: Oh, my God. What happened?
Leonard: Nothing. Mother likes looking at brains and Sheldon likes getting his brain scanned.
Penny: Geez, what a fun couple.
Leonard: She's only been here a day and a half and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path.
Penny: Hey, I talked to her for five minutes yesterday and I've been half bombed ever since.
Leonard: You can't let her get into your head.
Penny: My head, what about yours?
Leonard: It's too late for me. My head is her summer house.

Penny: (Leonard knocks on Penny's door) Hi.
Leonard: You got alcohol?
Penny: Your mom still here?
Leonard: Yup.
Penny: (holds out bottle) C'mon in.

Sheldon: I feel very comfortable around you.
Beverly: I feel very comfortable around you, too.
Sheldon: It's surprising because I generally don't feel comfortable around - well, anyone.
Beverly: Nor I.
Sheldon: What are the odds that two individuals as unique as ourselves would be connected by someone as comparatively workaday as your son?
Beverly: Is that a rhetorical point, or would you like to do the math?
Sheldon: I'd like to do the math.
Beverly: I'd like that, too.

Beverly: I have to urinate.

Beverly: If you want to have intercourse with that girl, find out what kind of cologne her father wore.

Penny: You know, I've always been curious, what was Leonard like when he was little?
Beverly: Oh, I think you mean young. He's always been little.

Sheldon: He's holding the phone to his left ear. Ears do not cross hemispheres, so he's using the analytical rather than the emotional side of the brain, suggesting that he has no personal relationship with the caller.
Leonard: No, I didn't realize it had been so long... Sure, I guess there's no other choice but just to go ahead and do it.
Sheldon: He's referrng to an activity he has done before. It's unpleasant and needs to be repeated. This suggests some sort of invasive medical test like perhaps a colonoscopy.
Leonard: Aren't there any other options? There's not a lot of room. It's going to be uncomfortable.
Sheldon: Yes, yes, I'm definitely going with colonoscopy.
Leonard: Okay, bye.
(Leonard looks up to see everyone looking at him)
Leonard: My mother's coming to visit.
Howard: (to Sheldon) How about that, you were right.

Sheldon: I have the same problem with him. My theory is that his lack of focus stems from an over-developed sex drive.
Beverly: Oh, I don't know where he would've gotten that. Aside from a pro forma consummation of our marriage, his father and I only had intercourse for the purposes of reproduction.
Sheldon: That seems a fairly efficient arrangement.

Leonard: Here's your tea, Mother.
Beverly: Oolong?
Leonard: Yes.
Beverly: Loose, not bagged?
Leonard: Yes.
Beverly: Steeped, three minutes?
Leonard: Yes.
Beverly: Two percent milk?
Leonard: Yes.
Beverly: Warmed separately?
Leonard: Yes.
Beverly: One teaspoon of sugar?
Leonard: Yes.
Beverly: Raw sugar?
Leonard: Yes.
Beverly: (Beverly sips the tea) It's cold.
Leonard: I'll start again.
Sheldon: (to Beverly) I have the same problem with him.

(Leonard's mother Beverly, a neuroscientist and psychoanalyst, is visiting)
Sheldon: Your mother is brilliant, analytical, insightful - and I'm betting she never hit you with a Bible because you wouldn't eat your Brussels sprouts.
Leonard: Sheldon, you don't give your mother enough credit. She's warm, she's loving, she doesn't glue electrodes to your head to measure your brain waves while potty training.
Sheldon: You were lucky! When I was a kid, if I wanted an EEG, I had to attach my *own* electrodes.

Beverly: Leonard's younger brother, Michael, is a tenured law professor at Harvard, and his sister just successfully grew a human pancreas in an adolescent gibbon.
Howard: So, she's close to curing diabetes?
Beverly: Why else would you grow a pancreas in a teenaged gibbon?
Howard: Wow, you must be very proud.
Beverly: Why? They're not my accomplishments.

Raj: (the boys are playing Rock Band)
(singing)
Raj: I don't ever wanna feel / Like I did that day / Take me to the place I love / Take me all the way /
(falsetto)
Raj: I don't ever wanna feel / Like I did that day / Take me to the place I lo-
(sees Penny in the doorway)
Penny: Fellas, please.
Howard: Penny, come on, we were just finding our sound.
Penny: You found it. It's the sound of a cat being run over by a lawnmower.

Leonard: Why are you doing this?
Howard: You know the rules; you brought your mom to work, you must suffaaaaaaaah!

Penny: (in tears) I mean, my mom could have just said, "Bob, get over it; she's a girl. Move on!" But she didn't, not one word.
Beverly: Interesting. Would you be willing to fly to New Jersey and discuss your relationship with your parents during a brain scan?
Penny: Would it help?
Beverly: Well, it would help me.

Notes and Trivia

As Penny and Leonard's mom are going down the stairs at the end of the episode, Penny mentions her father's name being Bob. When her father comes to visit in a later episode, his name is Wyatt.

At the beginning of the episode, the song Sheldon, Raj, and Howard are playing in "Rock Band" is "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Christine Baranski received an Emmy nomination for her performance as Leonard's icy mother in this episode.

Goofs

None

Cast

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