S03E22 - The Staircase Implementation

No: 62  |  Season: 3   Episode: 22  |  Air Date: 2010-05-17  |  Runtime: mins

Leonard: It was the best apartment I'd seen, the rent was very reasonable and after you've passed the first three barriers you kind of want to take it all the way.

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Summary

Leonard tells Penny about how he and Sheldon became roommates and what happened to the elevator.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Lee Aronsohn & Steven Molaro & Steve Holland / Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Dave Goetsch & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S03E22 - The Staircase Implementation

Quotes

Raj: Do you have an opinion about everything?
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: You just assume you're always right?
Sheldon: It's not an assumption.

Leonard: Go to hell and set their thermostat!
Sheldon: I don't have to go to hell. It's 73 degrees, I'm there already.

Sheldon: We agree to reserve Friday nights to watch Joss Whedon's brilliant new show Firefly.
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: We might as well settle it now. It's going to be on for years.

Sheldon: In a post-apocalyptic world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source, reestablishing a functioning government, procreating, or preserving the knowledge of mankind?
Leonard: Uh, I'm gonna go with... preserving the knowledge.
Sheldon: That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating.

Sheldon: Yes?
Leonard: I'm Leonard Hofstadter. I called you about the apartment and you said to come by...
Sheldon: I know what I said. I know what you said. I know what my mother said on March 5, 1992. What is the sixth noble gas?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You said you were a scientist. What is the sixth noble gas?
Leonard: Radon?
Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard: Telling you?
(Sheldon glares at him)
Leonard: Telling you.
Sheldon: All right. Next question. Kirk or Picard?
Leonard: That's tricky... Original Series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk.
Sheldon: Correct. You have passed the first barrier to roommatehood. You may enter.

Leonard: So, I did something stupid. I'm sure you did stupid things when you were younger. What were you doing seven years ago?
Penny: Excuse me, I was in high school, studying, keeping my nose clean, doing volunteer work for the community...
(Cut to Penny seven years ago, sitting with her boyfriend looking at a pregnancy kit)
Penny: Not pregnant! Yes!
(They high-five)

Leonard: (Flashback) Hi. Excuse me. I'm looking for Sheldon Cooper's apartment.
Sebastian: Oh. I bet you're here to check out the room for rent.
Leonard: Yeah.
Sebastian: Run away dude.
Leonard: What?
Sebastian: Run fast, run far.
Leonard: (Present day) That should have been my first clue.

Sheldon: Have a seat.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: No, that's where I sit.
Leonard: What's the difference?
Sheldon: This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and the cross-breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle, allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation. As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs.

Leonard: According to the roommate agreement, I'm entitled to allocate 50% of the cubic footage of the common areas.
Sheldon: But you didn't notify me by e-mail first, so it's still a breach.
Leonard: I did notify you.
Sheldon: Oh, you did, did you?
(Checks his Palm Pilot)
Sheldon: Drat! Hoisted by my own spam filter.
Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder?
Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled "This is funny."

Sheldon: If either of us invent time travel, we agree that our first stop will be this meeting five seconds from now.
(Looks around)
Sheldon: Well, that was disappointing.

Sheldon: When do you evacuate your bowels?
Leonard: When I have to.
Sheldon: When you have to? I'm sorry, I don't rent to hippies.

(to get away from Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Howard are getting ready to go to Howard's house)
Sheldon: Wait, let me get my jacket.
Howard: You're not going with us.
Sheldon: Why?
Raj: You're the guy we're trying to get away from.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, in that case, I don't need my jacket. And for the record, the correct syntax is "I'm the guy from whom you're trying to get away."

Louie: (Flashback)
(a large, black man in a dress)
Louie: Yeah?
Leonard: Dr. Cooper?
Louie: No, you want the crazy guy across the hall.
Leonard: (Present day) In retrospect, that was clue number two.

Sheldon: Do you have a vehicle?
Leonard: A car, yes.
Sheldon: And you'd be willing to drive me?
Leonard: Can't you drive?
Sheldon: I can. I choose not to.

Leonard: Actually, I couldn't get too mad at him about Joyce Kim.
Penny: Why not?
Leonard: Well, I was doing some government research at the time, you know, military rocket fuel. It was kind of secret.
Penny: What does that have to do with Joyce Kim?
Leonard: As it turns out, she was a North Korean spy. Luckily, Sheldon drove her out before I revealed anything important.

Sheldon: Oh, Ubuntu, you are my favorite Linux-based operating system!

Sheldon: That's not an apology; that's simply an acknowledgement that I was right!
Leonard: Okay, I'm sorry.
Sheldon: There you go.

Sheldon: What are you sitting on?
Howard: I can't speak for these guys, but I'm sitting on my tushie. It's a joke.
Leonard: Not a good idea.
Raj: Tushie is buttocks, right?
Howard: Right.
Raj: Hilarious!

Notes and Trivia

In this episode we learn that Sheldon and Leonard's apartment has a flag. It bears a logo identical to that of L?wenbr?u beer.

Sheldon is hilariously wrong when he comments that Raj has wasted his money on his iPod, given that Microsoft would soon make a rival device. The Zune, as it was called, was released in 2006, but discontinued five years later due to disappointing sales that were way behind the iPod.

Sheldon mentions the TV series "Firefly (2002)" and predicts that it will go on for years. This is a joke, as "Firefly" was infamously canceled after just one season.

Sheldon tells Leonard to come back at this very moment in case either of the two of them ever develop time travel. This could be a reference to Stephen Hawking, who once threw a party without invitations to see if a time traveler arrives.

The references to B-Stoff and C-Stoff on Sheldon's white board represent two types of rocket fuel used by the Germans during World War II. They were used in the the V-2 and Me-163 (with T-stoff) respectively.

Goofs

None

Cast

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