S05E19 - The Weekend Vortex

No: 106  |  Season: 5   Episode: 19  |  Air Date: 2012-03-08  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: (to Amy) I wouldn't mind a piece of birthday cake, provided the old gal's candle blow is clean and dry.

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Summary

Sheldon has to choose between joining Amy at her aunt's birthday party or playing videogames all weekend with the guys.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady & Tara Hernandez / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Eric Kaplan & Steve Holland

Script

Script: S05E19 - The Weekend Vortex

Quotes

Sheldon: Gentlemen, the game offers us a choice between playing for the Republic and the light side or the Sith Empire and the dark side.
Leonard: We're always the good guys! In D&D, we're lawful good. In City of Heroes, we're the heroes. In Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat!
Sheldon: Those women are prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research!

Sheldon: All right then, I have no choice but to go on to plan B.
Penny: What's that?
Sheldon: I'm gonna run around outside with a wet head and try to catch a cold.

Amy: Gentlemen, as much as I'm sure Sheldon would enjoy playing intergalactic make-believe, he and I have other plans. We are attending my Aunt Flora's 93rd birthday party.
Sheldon: Just tell her I can't come.
Amy: She'll be disappointed if we don't show up!
Sheldon: She's 93. She won't be disappointed for very long.

Raj: Hey, wanna spend some time playing the new Star Wars game this weekend?
Leonard: Mmm, I don't know. I kind of promised myself I'd get off the computer, be more physically active, get some exercise.
Howard: You're about to walk up three flights of stairs.
Leonard: Good point. I'm in!
Raj: You know what would be great? Let's do it like the old days.
Leonard: You talking gaming marathon?
Raj: Yeah! Start Saturday morning, go 48 hours, sleeping bags, junk food...
Howard: Turn off our phones so our moms can't call...
Leonard: It'd be like our World of Warcraft party a few years ago when the neighbors called the cops on us!
Howard: They called the cops because of the smell. They thought we were dead!
Raj: We were bad-ass back in the day.
Leonard: Alright, let's do it!
Howard: 48 hours of Star Wars gaming!
Raj: It's on! Like Alderaan!

Sheldon: I always thought if I were ever enslaved, it would be by an advanced species from another planet. Not some hotsie-totsie from Glendale!

Penny: Sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone you really care about, the sucky part is it leaves you open to getting hurt.
Amy: Do you ever worry about Leonard doing that to you?
Penny: That's hilarious! No.

Penny: Sorry, Stallion. Your weird friend Giraffe is here!

Sheldon: These are Cooper Coupons. These are for various things I can do for you. This one is for one free grammar check. You can use it for emails, letters, tattoos, what have you. Oh, this is a fun one! This is an afternoon with me at the California Science Center, where I point out their mistakes.

Howard: You're a grown man! Act like one! Tell Amy you wanna spend the weekend having a sleepover and playing video games with your friends!

Amy: That'd be my boyfriend. Happier playing his dopey Star Trek game with his friends than hanging out with me.
Penny: Wars.
Amy: What?
Penny: Star Wars. They get all cranky when you mix the two up.
Amy: Well, what's the difference?
Penny: There's absolutely no difference!

Raj: None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend! It was going to be like the old days: the four of us, hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends! Do you have any idea what's it like to be the only one *without* a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after *Sheldon Cooper*!
Penny: And that's how a girl makes a scene.

Amy: Now, hang on! I followed all the protocols set forth by you in the relationship agreement! I made a written request seventy-two hours in advance! Checked the tire pressure on the car.! I even contacted the Centers for Disease Control to find out what shots they recommend for travel to Orange County! FYI, it's none.
Sheldon: Amy, the Relationship Agreement was not designed for either one of us to get our way.
Amy: You use it to get your way!
Sheldon: I use it to get the *right* way. The fact that the right way is also my way is a happy coincidence.

Penny: Who's Armand the miniature horse breeder?
Amy: The pretend boyfriend I invented to get my family off my back. It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question "How'd you two meet?"
Penny: I would have thought at a miniature horse show.
Amy: Oh, that's good!

Mrs. Wolowitz: (pounds on the door) Howard Joel Wolowitz, I've been worried sick for two days and I know you turned off your phone! You open up this door right now, because I've had it up to here! I have been to the morgue and the hospital and I've spent the last half hour walking up these farkakte stairs!
Howard: That's my ride. Gotta go.
(Sheldon uses the 'whip-crack' app sound)

Sheldon: When's the last time I asked you to do something for me?
Penny: Yesterday. You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it.
Sheldon: When is the last time I asked you to do something that wasn't a medical emergency?
Penny: Yesterday. You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it.

Amy: Sheldon, my relatives are going to want to talk to you and you're going to be sitting there playing a game? Isn't that a little rude?
Sheldon: Oh, I got that covered. Headset. I won't hear a word the old geezers are saying.

Leonard: Sheldon, clear your weekend. Starting Saturday morning, Star Wars marathon!
Raj: Woo-hoo!
Leonard: Movies or video-games? Or board games? Or trading card games? Or Legos? Or dress-up? Or comic books? Or dramatic readings of novelizations? Yes to all!
Leonard: We are going to play the on-line game.
Sheldon: The on-line game. Bully!

Sheldon: I think I understand. You're the one person who can say Sheldon Cooper is your boyfriend, but that rings hollow if you can't lord him over others in the flesh.

Sheldon: Who wants to spend the whole weekend running around a bunch of pretend planets battling made-up monsters? That's for babies!
Leonard: Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
Sheldon: Please, Amy! It's got lightsabers!

Amy: I'm dating Sheldon Cooper!
Penny: Yeah. On *purpose*!

Penny: Amy? What's the matter?
Amy: My boyfriend's a jerk!
Penny: Well, I know he didn't *cheat* on you!

Raj: When Gandhi advocated his philosophy of nonviolence, I bet he didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff!

Amy: Sheldon Cooper, I've got a bone to pick with you and I'm about to do it in front of all your friends!
Penny: Yeah! You pick that bone! You pick that bone clean!

Penny: (to Amy about Sheldon) Girlfriend 101: you withhold sex from him. But, that only works once Sheldon reaches puberty.

Leonard: Bernadette, remember your character's the healer in our group! You're in charge of healing all of us, not just Howard!
Bernadette: I can't help it. My Howie-Wowie has an owie!
Sheldon: That is the most sickeningly sweet thing I have ever experienced and I am sipping Kool-Aid through a Red Vine.

Leonard: I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems if I wasn't in shock that Sheldon has girl problems.

Notes and Trivia

For some reason, Kaley Cuoco is omitted from the credits, despite appearing in the episode.

It is revealed that Amy is from Glendale.

Goofs

None

Cast

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