S07E24 - The Status Quo Combustion

No: 159  |  Season: 7   Episode: 24  |  Air Date: 2014-05-15  |  Runtime: mins

Leonard: Your best decision is to ride the rails like a hobo? Sheldon: I suppose it is. Except I have a credit card. And I refuse to carry my laptop at the end of a stick.

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Summary

Sheldon gets upset about his career, the destruction of the comic book store and Leonard and Penny's future living arrangements. Howard and Bernadette struggle to keep hold of a caregiver for Mrs. Wolowitz.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Eric Kaplan & Jim Reynolds & Jeremy Howe / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Steve Holland & Tara Hernandez

Script

Script: S07E24 - The Status Quo Combustion

Quotes

Leonard: How's your mom holding up?
Howard: She's doing okay. but we just lost another nurse.
Amy: How many is that now?
Howard: Two. And I know what you're thinking: she's eating them.
Bernadette: She's just so impossible, they keep quitting.
Sheldon: So, who's watching her now?
Howard: A bowlful of M&M's with a few Ambien tossed in.

Leonard: Okay. Now that everyone's here, Penny and I have some big news.
Penny: We're engaged!
Raj: Oh my goodness! And I thought me having sex with Emily was going to be the big news.
(Bernadette, Amy and Howard hug Raj)
Leonard: Hey, hey. What the hell?
Bernadette: You guys propose all the time. This never happens.
Penny: You're right!
(Penny and Leonard join the group hug)

Bernadette: (about Howard's mother) We have jobs; we can't babysit her twenty-four hours a day.
Howard: If we use our vacation time?
Bernadette: I wanted to go to Hawaii, not hell.

Penny: (She was offered the job to care for Howard's mother; next scene, she's storming out of the house) Nope! You can keep your money!
Bernadette: (after the door closes) I've ridden a bull longer than that.

Sheldon: Leonard, I am overwhelmed. Everything is changing and it's simply too much. I need to get away and think.
Leonard: Come on. You know you're overreacting.
Penny: Leonard, hang on. Just come here. Maybe we need to let him go.
Leonard: What? Why?
Penny: It might be good for him.
Leonard: You know he can't take a trip like this by himself.
Penny: He's a grown man.
Leonard: No, he looks like a grown man. You've seen "Freaky Friday"; sometimes little kids end up in big person bodies.
Penny: Leonard, we can't protect him forever.
Leonard: I know, but...
Penny: He'll be okay. You taught him well, Padawan.
Sheldon: Good Lord. Padawan's the student, not the teacher.
Penny: Seriously, let him go.
Leonard: Sheldon, if you really need to do this I'm not gonna stand in your way.
Sheldon: I do.
Leonard: Okay. Good luck.
Penny: Be safe and call us.
(Kisses him)
Sheldon: I will.
Leonard: Bye, buddy.
(he starts to leave)
Leonard: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: I'm gonna miss you.
Sheldon: Of course you are.
Leonard: He just made that easier.

Amy: Okay, Sheldon, thanks for checking in. Talk to you tomorrow? O-okay, bye.
Leonard: He's okay?
Amy: Actually sounds like he's doing pretty well.
Penny: I really think this is going to be for the best.
Leonard: Me too. And he was able to take a sabbatical...
Amy: (Hitting Leonard with a cushion) How could you let him go?

Howard: Hang on, I know a place you can stay and earn some money at the same time.
Stuart: Great!
Howard: I just have to warn you it'll involve humiliation, degradation, and verbal abuse.
Stuart: So, what's the catch?

Penny: We were worried about you.
Sheldon: Don't be melodramatic. I'm just getting on a train and leaving forever.
Leonard: Seriously? You don't even have change of clothes or a toothbrush.
Sheldon: My plan is to stop at malls and buy what I need. It's called living off the land.

Amy: This might work out for the best. I mean, you're always complaining what a terrible roommate Leonard is. Like how he turns up the thermostat when you're not there.
Sheldon: Ugh. It's like walking into the Amazon. And not the good Amazon with one-day shipping. The awful one with bird and snakes.
Amy: You hate the sound of all those keys on this key chain.
Sheldon: Four keys! I mean, who does he think he is, a warden?
Amy: See, maybe you'll love living alone.
Sheldon: I don't know. Perhaps.
Amy: And if it turns out you don't... you and I could live together.
Sheldon: You and... Oh, sure. While we're at it why don't we get engaged, too. Why don't get a little house, start a family? Enjoy our sunset years together. Do you hear yourself, woman?
Amy: Sheldon, it was just a thought.
Sheldon: No, here's a thought. You're not moving in, Leonard's not moving out. Everything stays exactly the way it is.

Stuart: I don't mean to be rude, Sheldon, but, uh, my life is kind of falling apart right now.
Sheldon: Your life? The university is making me do string theory. And my girlfriend loves me so much she wants to live with me. And now, the place I need to go when I'm sad is damp and smells funny.

Bernadette: Sorry I'm late. Our leaf-blower broke, so I had to hand-dry my mother-in-law.

Howard: Maybe it's time we release Ma back into the sea.

Leonard: So listen. There was something I was hoping to float past you. Now that Penny and I are engaged I thought we might want to talk about our living arrangements.
Sheldon: Of course. She has spent many nights here and you're worried about preserving the myth of her virginity before the wedding.
Leonard: I'm not.
Sheldon: Good. Because not only has that ship sailed, if it hit an iceberg countless men would perish.
Leonard: Actually this is about where she and I are going to live.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Leonard: Well, well. We might want to live together.
Sheldon: Oh yeah, well. I have already given this some thought, and I'm willing to let Penny live with us one day a week for a trial period. Now; obviously not when she's made cranky by the shedding of her uterine lining.
Leonard: That's very sweet. But we were thinking more of us maybe living together with... not you.
Sheldon: I don't understand. How can we all live together if I'm not there?
Leonard: Look, I know this is, this is a change, and that sounds scary...
Sheldon: Where are you going to go?
Leonard: Well, I don't know. We-we just started to think about this. Maybe I'll move in with Penny or maybe she and I'll take this place and you can move across the hall.
Sheldon: Ah wai- Move across the hall? Did you take a marijuana?
Leonard: No, I did not.
Sheldon: Did you get hit on the head with a coconut?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then I'm all out of guesses. What? Me. Move across the hall. Why would even suggest such a thing?
Leonard: Because I love Penny and I want to give her the life she deserves.
Sheldon: I see. You're putting your future bride's happiness above mine.
Leonard: Well, yeah!
Sheldon: Wow.

Leonard: So, should we talk about setting a date?
Penny: Well, I'd like to pick one that works with my brother's schedule.
Leonard: Okay. And when would that be?
Penny: Uh, 12 to 18 months from now depending on good behaviour.

Beverly Hofstadter: Let me save you all of your hemming and hawing. Sheldon already told me that you and Penny are engaged.
Leonard: I hate that you talk to him more than you talk to me.
Beverly Hofstadter: Would you like for you and me to talk more?
Leonard: You know what? It's probably fine.
Beverly Hofstadter: In any event, while I've had my misgivings about... Penny... Sheldon spoke very fondly of her, and if she is good enough for him, then she's good enough for me.
Leonard: I'm your son. What about the fact that she's good enough for me?
Beverly Hofstadter: Sure.
Leonard: Thanks, Mom.
Beverly Hofstadter: Leonard, would it make you feel better to hear that your Mother approved of your life choices?
Leonard: Yes, it would.
Beverly Hofstadter: Yeah, well, you should work on that.

Howard: Don't take this the wrong way, but did you do this for the insurance money?
Stuart: No. God, you sound like the police, the firemen, my parents, my therapist and the insurance company.

Penny: No, Mom. It's the same guy I've been going out with for the last two years. Yeah, the scientist. Well, it's complicated. I mean, he works with lasers and atomic magnets. No, I did not see it coming. No, we did not set a date. No, I am not pregnant. Yeah, this is a first for our family. All right. Tell Dad I love him. I gotta go. Right. Bye.

Stuart: (a lamp and a piece of the ceiling falls to the floor, almost hitting Stuart) That could have killed me!
Stuart: Can't catch a break.

Leonard: Hey, buddy.
Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: You okay?
Sheldon: I just got called into President Siebert's office. The university won't let me switch my field of study to inflationary cosmology. They're forcing me to continue with string theory.
Howard: Why?
Sheldon: He said it's why they hired me, i-it's what my grant was designated for and that everybody has to do things they don't want to do. He then gave an example of something he had to do even though he didn't want to do which was look at my stupid face.
Leonard: That's a rude thing to say... out loud.

Sheldon: I saw you make this Strawberry Quik with syrup, and you're supposed to use the powder.
Amy: It tastes the same.
Sheldon: No! The syrup tastes better, and I don't like it!

Notes and Trivia

Mrs. Wolowitz's first name, Debbie, is finally revealed.

Goofs

None

Cast

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