S12E04 - The Tam Turbulence

No: 259  |  Season: 12   Episode: 4  |  Air Date: 2018-10-11  |  Runtime: mins

Tam: How did I betray you? Sheldon: You know what you did.

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Summary

Sheldon won't tell anyone why he's never mentioned Tam, his childhood best friend, so Leonard takes matters into his own hands. Also, Bernadette and Penny take out Raj's fianc?e, Anu, for dinner to get the skinny on her.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Steve Holland & Steven Molaro & Maria Ferrari / Teleplay by: Dave Goetsch & Eric Kaplan & Jeremy Howe

Script

Script: S12E04 - The Tam Turbulence

Quotes

Leonard: Sounds like Penny and Bernadette had fun last night.
Howard: I know. Bernie came home pretty drunk. She tried to sleep in the dryer.

Leonard: You know, I was curious to find out what Tam had done wrong. Why am I not surprised the answer is nothing?
Sheldon: So you're taking his side. You scurvy dog. You watch yourself; there is room on my enemies list now that the cafeteria ladies finally told me what's in the chili. By the way, don't eat the chili. Wait, wait, wait. You know what? Do.
Leonard: (turning to leave) Be careful, Sheldon. I don't think you can afford to lose a second best friend. I don't see anyone lining up to be your third.
Sheldon: D... wait.
(typing on his laptop)
Sheldon: "Snarky comebacks..." Oh, here we go. "You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?"
(rolling his eyes, Leonard leaves)
Sheldon: That was harsh, but he was asking for it.

Leonard: I'm glad you guys made up.
Sheldon: Well, I realized my life turned out great, and it's silly to hold a grudge.
Tam Nguyen: And I had no idea we were fighting, so it was easy.

Sheldon: Did she let you play with her train set?
Tam Nguyen: In a manner of speaking.

Raj: (On the phone) Just do me a favor and stay away from her.
(Hangs up)
Penny: Ugh, God, now I feel bad.
Bernadette: I know. Maybe we should take her out again and do some damage control.
Penny: You know, that's a good idea. Think she can get us into SoHo House?
Bernadette: (acting giddy) I don't know, but we owe it to Raj to try.

Sheldon: When I moved to California, what did you do?
Tam Nguyen: I stayed in Texas.
Sheldon: (to the others) Do you believe this guy?
Howard: (Sheldon storms off) So, he was your best friend growing up?
Tam Nguyen: Yes.
Howard: Were there no other kids in Texas?

Amy: Hey, did you guys know that Sheldon a best friend growing up named Tam?
Leonard: Was that the imaginary talking koala?
Amy: No. He's a real person who apparently betrayed him.
Leonard: Yeah, so did the koala.
Amy: I tried to ask him about it, and he invoked section three, article five of the marriage contract: "beeswax, none of your". I can't pry. I mean, I have to respect his wishes.
Howard: Wow. I wonder what that guy could've done to make Sheldon not talk to him for twenty years.
Leonard: I wonder if it'd work a second time.

Raj: So you don't know what their fight was about?
George Cooper, Jr.: I wish I could help you, boys. But, you know, Sheldon used to keep an enemies list when he was a kid.
Leonard: Oh, he still does.
George Cooper, Jr.: Really? I figured that went the same way as his bathroom schedule.
Howard: If you mean digitized, annotated and put online, it did.
George Cooper, Jr.: Maybe that'll tell you something. Hey, while you're looking at it, if I'm still on there for peeing in his shampoo bottle... eh, you know what? Just leave it.

Bernadette: Check it out. LeBron James posted a picture of me and him on Instagram.
Penny: I don't see you.
Bernadette: Look right behind him.
Penny: (looking closer and squinting) No.
Bernadette: Okay. You see that table just past his left shoulder? Now go back two more tables and over to the right.
Penny: All I see is a yellow smudge.
Bernadette: That's me!

Bernadette: Hi, daddy. No, everything's good. I just have a favor to ask. Yeah, so, my friend Raj is marrying this woman that he barely knows, and I wanted to see if you could use your connections to dig up any dirt on her. Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Love you.
Penny: (she hangs up) Is he in?
Bernadette: Absolutely not. He won't do it. It's totally illegal.
Penny: I thought you said he played by his own rules.
Bernadette: He does, but apparently, they're very similar to the actual rules.

Penny: I'm really worried about this whole Raj thing.
Bernadette: I know. He's so desperate to get married, which is weird, because I can't imagine we make it look that great.
Penny: I know, right? You know, if this woman's gonna be around, I think we should check her out a little. I looked online; she doesn't have an Instagram, which means she's either 80 or something's wrong with her.
Bernadette: Ooh, I could ask my dad. Maybe he can get some of his old cop buddies to do a background check on her.
Penny: Can he do that?
Bernadette: Of course. He's a retired cop who plays by his own rules.

Sheldon: Hello Tam. Thank you for coming. I just want you to know that, um... I forgive you.
Tam Nguyen: I didn't do anything.
Sheldon: And yet, here I am, still being the bigger man.

Sheldon: Leonard talked to Tam behind my back and took his side. And after what he did to me. Can you believe it?
Amy: No. I'm-I'm shocked and outraged. Now, tell me why I'm shocked and outraged.

Amy: (after listening to Sheldon) Not only did I drink the crazy milk, I also bought the crazy cow.

Bernadette: Hey, Raj, I'm here with Penny.
Raj: What the hell did you two say to Anu?
Bernadette: (innocently) Uh... whatever do you mean?
Raj: Why, why would you tell her I wear ladies' deodorant?
Penny: (laughing) Uh, because you're a boy and it's really funny.
Raj: Oh, oh, okay. Pardon me for having the confidence to smell daisy-fresh.

Sheldon: Howard, today is your lucky day. Leonard's out, you're my new best friend. Well, I'm not thrilled about it, either, but here we are. Okay, fine. Is Bernadette there? Sh... no. Just Stuart? Let me call you back.
Amy: (he hangs up) Let me guess. This thing with Tam escalated, and now you're mad at Leonard and looking for a new best friend?
Sheldon: You know me so well. It's too bad you can't be my best friend.
Amy: I can be.
Sheldon: Oh, you can't be my wife and my best friend. Who would I complain about you to?

Amy: You've got an e-mail from someone named Tam.
Sheldon: Tam? What does he want?
Amy: Uh... looks like he's coming to give his son a tour of CalTech. He's hoping you guys can meet up.
Sheldon: (scoffs) He would like that, wouldn't he?
Amy: Well, that's the gist of the e-mail.

Howard: All right, got his enemies list. Ooh, he updated the interface. You can search by first name, last name, or length of grudge.
Raj: Is Tam on it?
Howard: Let's see. Yep. Right here. Tam Nguyen.
Leonard: Great. What did he do?
Howard: Hold on. I have to agree to the terms of service. No, I'm not a robot. Okay. "Which of these are plants?". And we're in.
Raj: Great. What-what does it say?
Howard: Well... "He knows what he did."

Leonard: What is going on with you?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure you have a perfectly stupid reason.
Sheldon: I don't do anything for a stupid reason. Except perhaps Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I'd argue that's more whimsical than stupid.

Tam Nguyen: Sheldon, I needed to stay in Texas. And you needed to come here. I knew you were gonna do amazing things and meet amazing people who were gonna respect you, because you're brilliant. And because they never had to fish you out of a dumpster.
Sheldon: Well, they have, but it was during my short-lived parkour phase.

Tam Nguyen: Sheldon, so good to see you.
Sheldon: (impersonally) Tam.
Tam Nguyen: It's been a long time.
Sheldon: Hm, not long enough to erase the sting of betrayal.
Tam Nguyen: How did I betray you?
Sheldon: You know what you did.
Raj: Uh, let me catch you up. He does not.

Leonard: Why did you and Sheldon stop being friends? What did you do?
Raj: And don't worry, even though we just met you, we think you're right and he's wrong.

Raj: If Tam knows what he did, we can just ask him. He's gonna be on campus tomorrow showing his son around.
Leonard: Won't that make Sheldon mad?
Raj: Everything makes Sheldon mad.
Howard: Yeah. Look at his list. Jim Henson for, quote, "putting a terrifying, giant yellow bird on television and in my nightmares."

Amy: Hey, watcha doing?
Sheldon: (on his laptop) Improving our wedding photos.
Amy: Oh, that's nice. Wait, I'm still in them, right?
Sheldon: Of course. And not only you. I've added some guests who couldn't be there.
Amy: (sitting down and looking at the screen) Who's that next to my father?
Sheldon: The Wright brothers.
Amy: And why are they at our wedding?
Sheldon: Orville, because I admire him; Wilbur, because he was Orville's plus-one.

Bernadette: So, are you actually engaged to this woman you just met?
Raj: Yeah.
Penny: Tell us the truth. Did she get you pregnant?

Sheldon: When I got accepted to grad school at CalTech, I was afraid to move so far away from home. So Tam said he'd move out here with me and be my roommate. Then, over the summer, he got a girlfriend, even after reading all the pamphlets I gave him about social diseases.
Amy: Aw, I remember when you gave me those pamphlets.
Sheldon: Anyway, Tam stayed with her in Texas, and I had to move out here all by myself.
Amy: That must've been scary.
Sheldon: It was. I was lonely, and I thought I'd never make a friend again. And for a long time, I didn't.
Amy: But then you did. And great friends. If you think about it, if Tam had moved out here with you, who knows what your life would've been like.
(flashbacks to various episodes, with Tam in place of Leonard)
Sheldon: No, my life would've still been great.

George Cooper, Jr.: Yeah, sure, I remember Tam, Sheldon's little Vietnam buddy. The two of them were always running around together.
Leonard: So, what happened?
George Cooper, Jr.: What do you mean?
Leonard: Well, I mean, Sheldon never talks about him. They haven't spoken in years. He wasn't at the wedding.
George Cooper, Jr.: He wasn't? All right, well, this is embarrassing, 'cause I had a long conversation with someone who I thought was Tam.

Leonard: Tam Nguyen?
Tam Nguyen: Yes. Is my son done with his tour?
Howard: No idea. We're actually friends of Sheldon Cooper.
Tam Nguyen: Oh, I've been trying to get in touch with him, but I never heard back. Is he okay?
Leonard: If you mean physically, yes.
Howard: If you mean every other way, no.

Leonard: I still can't believe Sheldon had a best friend we've never heard about.
Raj: (singsong) Ooh, somebody's jealous.
Leonard: I'm not jealous.
Howard: Leonard, this is a safe space. It's okay to be vulnerable.
Leonard: All I'm saying is you know the timing of a fellow's bowel movements, you don't think there's a lot left to discover.

Amy: Who's Tam?
Sheldon: He was my best friend in the whole world growing up.
Amy: Really? Why have I never heard you mention him before?
Sheldon: Oh, of course I have. I'm sure I've mentioned him, like, five times this week.
Amy: I don't think you have.
Sheldon: (irritably, counting on his fingers) Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam Tam! There. It's only Thursday.

Notes and Trivia

Amy and Sheldon's Relationship Agreement has apparently been upgraded into a Marriage Contract.

Entries on Sheldon's enemies list revealed in this episode: Tam for not moving with him to California; Jim Henson for creating Big Bird (Sheldon is mortally afraid of birds); the cafeteria lady for not revealing what's in the chili; and his brother George for peeing in his shampoo bottle.

Title reference: a visit from Sheldon's childhood friend Tam upsets things.

Goofs

None

Cast

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