S01E05 - The Hamburger Postulate
No: 5 |
Season: 1
Episode: 5 |
Air Date: 2007-10-22 |
Runtime: mins
Summary
Leslie seduces Leonard, but afterwards tells him that she is only interested in a one-night stand.
Director and Writers
Director: Andrew D. Weyman
Writers: Story by: Jennifer Glickman / Teleplay by: Dave Goetsch & Steven Molaro
Script
Script: S01E05 - The Hamburger Postulate
Quotes
Sheldon: Alright. I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of orcs from Lord of the Rings. We fight the Tennessee Volunteers, and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg.
Howard: Not so fast. Remember the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla.
Leonard: No, no, no no. Orcs are magic; Superman is vulnerable to magic. Not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk.
Raj: Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?
Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order?
Howard: Hang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu gods against the entire Union army?
Leonard: And orcs!
Penny: I'll be back.
Raj: Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer. When the smoke clears Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.
Penny: Alright, my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back.
Leonard: I thought you weren't interested in me.
Leslie: That was before I saw you handling that beautiful piece of wood between your legs.
Leonard: You mean my cello?
Leslie: No, I mean the obvious crude double entendre,
Howard: Hey, look, it's Dr. Stud.
Leonard: Doctor what?
Howard: The blogosphere is a-buzzing with news of you and Leslie Winkle making
(gibberish noises to imply sexual intercourse)
Leonard: Wha... how did it get on the Internet?
Howard: I put it there.
Leonard: Well, how did you know about it?
Raj: A little bird told us. Apparently you were a magnificent beast.
Penny: So, you know who's in there?
Sheldon: Well, there's Leonard...
(picks up violin case)
Sheldon: and he's either with Leslie Winkle or a 1930s gangster.
Sheldon: Do you realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?
Penny: So, how's everything?
Sheldon: Terrific. You'll be happy to know that I plan to come here every Tuesday night for the foreseeable future.
Penny: Really? Oh, yay!
Sheldon: Who do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?
Penny: Um, I don't know. A psychiatrist?
Leslie: I admire your fingering.
Leonard: Thank you.
Leslie: Maybe sometime you can try that on my instrument.
Leonard: Penny? What about her?
Leslie: Well, I thought I saw your pupils dilate when you looked at her, which, unless you're a heroin addict, points to sexual attraction.
Raj: (at the Cheesecake Factory) Oh, no.
Howard: What?
Raj: She didn't take my order.
Howard: How can she take your order when you're too neurotic to talk to her?
Penny: Hey, Sheldon. What's going on?
Sheldon: I need your opinion on a matter of semiotics.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Sheldon: Semiotics, the study of signs and symbols. It's a branch of philosophy related to linguistics.
Penny: Okay, sweetie, I know you think you're explaining yourself, but you're really not.
Leslie: The Physics department string quartet needs a new cellist.
Leonard: What happened to Elliot Wong?
Leslie: He switched over to high-energy radiation research, had a little mishap, and now the other guys are uncomfortable sitting next to him.
Leslie: (Penny and Sheldon are listening in to Leonard's room through the door)
(monotone)
Leslie: Oh Leonard, you magnificent beast.
Leonard: Why are you smashing a flash-frozen banana?
Leslie: 'Cause I got a bowl of Cheerios and I couldn't find a knife.
Sheldon: I don't know what the protocol is here? Do I stay? Do I leave? Do I wait to greet them with a refreshing beverage?
Penny: Gee, Sheldon, you're asking the wrong girl. I'm usually on the other side of the tie.
Sheldon: (Sheldon shows Penny the tie hanging from Leonard's doorknob) What does it mean?
Penny: Oh come on, you went to college.
Sheldon: Yes, but I was eleven.
Leslie Winkle: We rehearse on Tuesday's at your place.
Leonard: Why at my place?
Leslie Winkle: Yeah, the Department of Energy said our regular space is kind of a hot zone.
Sheldon: I like the hamburgers where we usually have hamburgers, you can't make the assumption that I'll like the hamburgers here.
Leonard: I'm sorry. Give him a hamburger.
Penny: Uh, which one, the Classic Burger, the Ranch House Burger, the Barbecue Burger or the Kobe burger?
Sheldon: Can't we just go to Big Boy? They only have one burger. The Big Boy.
Penny: The Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy.
Sheldon: Excuse me, in a world that already includes a Big Boy, why would I settle for something like a Big Boy?
Penny: Because you are not at Big Boy!
Sheldon: Fine, I'll have the Barbecue Burger.
Leonard: Leslie and I do research together at the university.
Penny: Oh, wow! A girl scientist.
Leslie Winkle: Yup, come for the breasts, stay for the brains.
Sheldon: (learning Leonard has a girl over) This is very awkward.
Penny: Oh, come on. You know, Leonard's had girls over before, right?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. But there's usually planning, courtship, advance notice. You know, last time I was able to book a cruise to the Arctic to see a solar eclipse.
Penny: Wait, wait. You had to leave the state because your roommate was having sex?
Sheldon: I didn't *have* to, the dates just happened to coincide.
Leonard: Well, what did she mean by that? Or was that just a generic platitude or was that a subtle bid for attention?
Sheldon: You know why this hamburger surpasses the Big Boy? This is a single-decker hamburger whereas the Big Boy is a double-decker. This has a much more satisfying meat to bun to condiment ratio.
Leonard: Are you even listening to me?
Sheldon: Of course I'm listening. "Blah blah, hopeless Penny delusion, blah blah."
Leonard: Okay then. You know, you can grow the ingredients for soup.
Penny: I didn't know you played the cello.
Leonard: Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.
Sheldon: (furious that Leslie wrote on his board) I don't come in to your house and touch your board!
Leslie Winkle: There are no incorrect equations on my board.
Sheldon: Oh, that is so... so...
Leslie Winkle: I'm sorry, I gotta run. If you come up with an adjective, text me.
Sheldon: (after Leslie leaves and a brief pause) Inconsiderate. THAT is the adjective! Inconsiderate.
Leslie: Just so we're clear, you understand that me hanging back to practice with you is a pretext for letting you know that I'm sexually available.
Leslie: Listen, neither of us are neuroscientists, but we both understand the biochemistry of sex. I mean, dopamine in our brains is released across synapses, causing pleasure. You stick electrodes in a rat's brain, give him an orgasm button, he'll push that thing until he starves to death.
Leonard: Well, who wouldn't?
Leslie: Well, the only difference between us and the rat is that you can't stick an electrode in our hypothalamus. That's where you come in.
Leonard: Yeah, well, I'm just glad to be a part of it. So what happens now?
Leslie: I don't know about your sex drive, but I'm probably good till New Year's.
Notes and Trivia
Howard talks of Leonard and Leslie making eine kleine bang bang music. "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" is Mozart's most popular piece for string quartet, although today it is often performed by a string orchestra.
It is revealed here that Sheldon (Jim Parsons) went to college at the age of 11.
Johnny Galecki (Leonard) knows how to play the cello in real life.
Johnny Galecki and Sara Gilbert were former costars on Roseanne (1988).
Leonard (Johnny Galecki) states, "Orcs are magic, Superman is vulnerable to magic...", Superman's powers are derived from the yellow sun of Earth; they have no magical component, leaving him open to malignant sorcery. On the other hand, Superman similarly battles an ogre in Justice League of America Vol. 1 #49 (November 1966) with no ill effect.
When just Leonard and Leslie go back over the section together, Leonard draws the bow over the cello the correct way when he plays a note to tune it. But when he actually starts playing the part with Leslie, he has flipped the bow around so that the wooden side is touching the strings. Since Johnny Galecki knows how to play the cello, he might have done this intentionally to avoid playing any real sound causing a conflict when they added the music in post. When he does his tuning note, he can then be seen twisting it upside down for the fake playing.
Goofs
None
Cast
| Johnny Galecki | Leonard Hofstadter |
| Jim Parsons | Sheldon Cooper |
| Kaley Cuoco | Penny |
| Simon Helberg | Howard Wolowitz |
| Kunal Nayyar | Raj Koothrappali |
| Sara Gilbert | Leslie Winkle |
