Kripke Quotes - Big Bang Theory
Kripke quotes from the hit show "Big Bang Theory"
Kripke: Hello, this is Sweden calling. Is this Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler?
Sheldon: Yes.
Amy: Yeah.
Kripke: Congratulations. It is my pleasure to inform you that you've won the Nobel Prize. In being suckers!
Sheldon: (realizing who it is and hanging up) His Swedish accent was very convincing.
Kripke: Whoa whoa whoa, you didn't tell me we were doing this just to stick it to Sheldon.
Leonard: Oh, well...
Kripke: I'm messing with you. This sundae just got a cherry on top.
Kripke: Someone call animal contwol. There's a cougar on the woose.
Kripke: Be honest, if the shoe were on the other foot, would you do the same for me?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Not a chance. Sorry, but he said to be honest, and mother always said that honesty is the best policy.
Kripke: Gentlemen, welcome to the fencing club. Before we start, I just want to warn you, fencing isn't a joke. I hope you're not here because you think it's going to be like Star Wars.
Leonard: That's not why we're here.
Raj: Yeah, I'm here because I think it's gonna be like Game of Thrones.
Howard: And maybe a little Princess Bride.
Raj: Ooh, ooh! I forgot about Princess Bride! That's my answer!
Kripke: ...there actuawwy was some big stwing theowy news today out of the Hadwon Cowwider.
Sheldon: Really? Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions or supersymmetry?
Kripke: No, but they did find evidence that you'll bewieve
(laughing)
Kripke: anything.
Sheldon: Why would you do that? You're a string theorist as well.
Kripke: Incowwect; I am a stwing pwagmatist. I say I'm going to pwove something that cannot be pwoved, I appwy for gwant money, and then I spend it on wiquor and bwoads.
Kripke: Cooper, maybe physics just isn't your thing. Have you ever considered a caweer in wetail? That way you could take things back for a wiving.
Kripke: That's enough, Barry.
Sheldon: That's all right, Leonard. I can fight my own battles. Isn't that right, "Bawwy"?
Kripke: Is that a wefewence to my speech impediment? That's pwetty hurtful. I... I can't contwol it.
Sheldon: You're right. That was uncalled for. I take it back.
Kripke: Of course you do, because you're the Wetwactor!
Kripke: Wemember when we were twying to figure out what that smell coming fwom Pwofessor Tupperman's office was?
Howard: Yeah.
Kripke: Turns out it was Tupperman. Dead at his desk for two weeks.
Howard, Leonard, Raj: Ugh.
Kripke: In wieu of fwowers, the department chair is asking that everyone donate a bottle of Febweze.
Kripke: Children wuv me. Something about me just makes them waff and waff.
Kripke: If you need my nose, you'll find it firmwy wodged up the wectum of the tenure committee.
Kripke: I have some bad news. You're working on a grant proposal for a new fusion weactor. I'm working on a gwant pwoposal for a new fusion weactor. The university is only awowed to submit one proposal.
Sheldon: So they asked you to pack up your things and ship out; that's hard cheese, Barry. You were one of the good ones.
Kripke: No, they're making us work together.
Sheldon: That's ridiculous! I have one of the great minds or our generation. I work on a level so rarefied you couldn't even imagine it. I said stop looking at my cool train!
Kripke: You got Siwi, huh? Voice wecognition on that thing is terrible. Wook.
(Talking into iPhone)
Kripke: Siwi, can you wecommend a westauwant?
Siri: I'm sorry, Bawwy. I don't understand "wecommend a westauwant."
Kripke: Wisten to me. Not "westauwant," *westauwant*.
Siri: I don't know what you mean by "not westauwant, westauwant."
Kripke: See? Total cwap. You suck, Siwi.
Kripke: I'm Barry Kwipke and I'm here because you told me there was gonna be a whaffle. When is the whaffle?
Sheldon: Patience, patience, Barry. The whaffle... the raffle is the grand finale to an evening-long festival of fun and folly.
Kripke: You all wight there, Cooper?
Sheldon: Not really. I feel somewhat like an inverse tangent function at the approach to the asymptote.
Kripke: Are you saying you're stuck?
Sheldon: What part of 'inverse tangent function approaching an asymptote' did you not understand?
