Sheldon Quotes - Big Bang Theory
Sheldon quotes from the hit show "Big Bang Theory"
Kripke: How does it work?
Sheldon: Oh, it's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaperizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Kripke: I'm sowwy, can you wepeat that?
Sheldon: Oh, of course. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaperizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Kripke: Almost got it. One more time?
Sheldon: Sure! Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock...
Howard: Hey, Sheldon!
Sheldon: ...rock crushes...
Howard: Stop. He's screwing with you.
Sheldon: Is he? Well, then, seems we have reached an impasse. I see no other option than to challenge you to a duel. I'd smack you with a glove, but just last week, I packed away my winter things.
Sheldon: My apologies. I would have been here sooner, but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.
Sheldon: Why are you crying ?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and that makes me sad.
Sheldon: (to Raj) Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
(Raj stares at Sheldon)
Sheldon: That was a joke. I made it to lessen your discomfort.
(Raj still stares)
Sheldon: You're welcome.
Sheldon: I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested
Sheldon: Uhm, Penny, that's where I sit.
Penny: So sit next to me.
Sheldon: No, I sit there.
Penny: What's the difference?
Sheldon: What's the difference?
Leonard: Here we go.
Sheldon: In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on.
