S06E22 - The Proton Resurgence

No: 133  |  Season: 6   Episode: 22  |  Air Date: 2013-05-02  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: How could anybody hate Gino the Neutrino? It's nice, huh? I got him for 20 bucks on eBay. Including the shipping!

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Summary

Bernadette and Howard offer to watch Raj's dog and live to regret it. Leonard and Sheldon hire their favorite childhood star to make an appearance.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Jim Reynolds & Steve Holland / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Eric Kaplan & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S06E22 - The Proton Resurgence

Quotes

Professor Proton: I'm, I'm awake, right?

Professor Proton: After the TV show was, was cancelled, nobody in the scientific world would, would take me seriously. So I was forced to do these children's parties to make a living.
Leonard: That's too bad. But still, working with kids, it must be rewarding.
Professor Proton: You, you get bit a lot.

Sheldon: You may find this hard to believe, but I didn't have any friends growing up.
Professor Proton: No, I, I get that.
Sheldon: But, um, I did have you. And every day at 4 o'clock you'd come to my house on channel 68 and we'd do science together. If it hadn't been for you, who knows what would have become of me. You know, instead of a world class physicist, I could have wound up as, uh, a hobo. Or a surgeon.
Leonard: I bet there are important discoveries being made every day because you inspired millions of kids to pursue science. In a way, their discoveries are your discoveries.
Sheldon: You... It's true. A generation of young scientists are standing on your shoulders.
Professor Proton: Well, thanks. Thanks, you guys. That, that, that means a lot.
Leonard: It's important you know how much you mean to us.

Sheldon: Professor Proton, it's an honor to meet you.
Professor Proton: Just, just call me 'Arthur'.
Sheldon: Leonard! Did you hear that? Professor Proton said I should call him 'Arthur'! That means we're friends!
Professor Proton: No. A, a friend would have, would have told me about the elevator.
Sheldon: Look at me! I can get as close to you as I want without my mom saying it's going to ruin my eyes!
Professor Proton: (to Leonard) Is, uh, is he dangerous?
Leonard: Actually, he's a genius.
Sheldon: I am.
Professor Proton: Tha-that doesn't answer my question.

Professor Proton: I hope I haven't kept the kids waiting too long for the show.
Sheldon: Oh, no, there are no kids. The show is for me! Come on, I'll race ya! ... Arthur!

Professor Proton: Let me get this straight. You two are physicists and you want me to do a children's science show?
Sheldon: Yes! And if there's time, take twelve photos with us in seasonal clothing.

Sheldon: Oh, my God, Leonard! He's available for parties and events! We should hire him!
Leonard: To do what?
Sheldon: Whatever we want! Hang out, do experiments, make him shoot twelve pictures with us for a calendar!

Professor Proton: I just don't want to be Professor Proton any more.
Sheldon: Well, how can you say that? Professor Proton's the best!
Professor Proton: What has it ever gotten me? I mean, I'm, I'm an 83-year-old man who has potatoes in his suitcase. Other scientists think, think I'm a joke. And the, the puppeteer who did, who did Geno, well, he also... did my wife.

Leonard: Sheldon, you know that if you stay up all night, you're going to be sleepy tomorrow and a sleepy Sheldon is a cranky Sheldon and a cranky Sheldon... is absolutely no different than a regular Sheldon. Good night!

Leonard: Mr. Jeffries, I'm sorry. We should've warned you about the broken elevator.
Professor Proton: I agree.

Sheldon: (to Penny) Professor Proton hosted my favorite science show when I was a child. I never missed an episode. Uh, he demonstrated scientific principles using everyday objects.
Leonard: It was pretty cool.
Penny: Aw, it's so cute when you use the word 'cool' wrong. Like when kids say 'pasketti'.

Howard: (to Raj's dog, Cinnamon) I feel for ya. I've got a psychotic mommy, too.

Raj: I just found out I have to stay all weekend at the observatory. Can you and Bernadette take care of my dog for me?
Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in a kennel.

Howard: Oh, hey! We were just walking Cinnamon.
Raj: Oh, really? Did you take her down Liars Lane?
Howard: What?
Raj: Liars Lane? A lane frequented by liars? Like you, you big liar?

Sheldon: I wrote you a fan letter when I was a child in Texas and you sent me this autographed picture. Do you remember that?
Professor Proton: I'll give you a hint: I have a bracelet with my own address on it.

Leonard: The interface is pretty simple. You put your horizontal X coordinate here, vertical Y coordinate here and if you're happy with those, you press this button.
Penny: Got it.
(the toy missile launcher swivels)
Sheldon: Leonard, you'll never guess who I just found on li-
(he is hit in the head by a toy missile)
Sheldon: H-Hey!
Leonard: Nice shot!
Penny: Uh, his giant head did most of the work.
Sheldon: Very mature! You're lucky I'm out of silly string.

Leonard: Do you remember his theme song?
Sheldon: Of course!
Leonard, Sheldon: Grab your goggles, / Put your labcoat on! / Here he comes, / Professor Proton!

Professor Proton: Is the, is the blonde girl really your, your girlfriend?
Leonard: Yes, sir.
Professor Proton: *You're* the genius!

Penny: So, do you do a lot of these kind of appearances?
Professor Proton: I'm not sure. I'm still trying to figure out what... what this is.

Sheldon: I met my childhood hero and I get to ride in an ambulance! If we'd gotten to do that calendar, this would be the best day of my life!

Professor Proton: Uh-oh.
Penny: Arthur, are you okay?
Professor Proton: I'm having a... problem with my pacemaker.
Leonard: I'll, I'll call for help!
Penny: Any chance we could plug it into the potato?
Professor Proton: No.

Raj: Uncle Howard! Cinnamon's here for her sleep-over party!
Howard: You do realize that if you have a stroke, she'll eat you.
Raj: And it would be my pleasure to be her num-num.

Sheldon: Do potato clock! Potato clock!
Penny: What's 'potato clock'?
Professor Proton: I run a clock with a potato.
Penny: Shut up! You can do that? I mean, wouldn't that solve the world's energy crisis?
Professor Proton: No.

Leonard: You want one of us to go with you in the ambulance?
Sheldon: I'll do it!
Professor Proton: He's not a relative. He's not allowed, right?
Paramedic: No, it's not a rule. He can go.
Sheldon: Oh, yes!
Professor Proton: I can't catch a break today.

Howard: (Printing a poster of Cinnamon) How's this?
Bernadette: How did you get a picture of her?
Howard: I didn't. I just Googled "foo-foo little dogs".

Notes and Trivia

The title refers to the return to Sheldon's life of his childhood hero, Professor Proton, who hosted a children's science show. From now on, every episode with the word "Proton" in the title has a guest appearance from Bob Newhart.

This was Bob Newhart's first appearance in what became a recurring role as Professor Proton. Series creator Chuck Lorre had wanted Newhart to appear in one of his shows for years and finally suggested The Big Bang Theory (2007) to him. Newhart agreed, as long as it was a recurring role and the episodes would be taped live.

Goofs

None

Cast

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