S08E20 - The Fortification Implementation

No: 179  |  Season: 8   Episode: 20  |  Air Date: 2015-04-09  |  Runtime: mins

Josh: I can't believe my brother's an astronaut. That's amazing. What was it like? Raj: Listen, dude, it's time for you to hit the road. Howard: Hey, hey, the young man asked a good question.

Previous Next

Summary

Howard meets the half-brother he never knew he had. Penny is invited to appear on Wil Wheaton's podcast.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Jim Reynolds & Saladin Patterson & Tara Hernandez / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Steve Holland & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S08E20 - The Fortification Implementation

Quotes

Raj: Enough chit-chat. How do we know you're who you say you are?
Josh Wolowitz: Why would I lie?
Raj: Okay, you make a good point.

Sheldon: Do you think there's a chance that an asteroid could hit the Earth, destroying Feynman's house and everyone in it?
Amy: No, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, buckle up. You're in for a cranky night.

Amy: According to the codicil of the Relationship Agreement which you insisted upon, we're not allowed to pout or be moody on date night.
Sheldon: You know I just put that in because of uterus stuff.

Leonard: Well, you can spend the rest of the day being bitter about this...
Sheldon: Agreed.
Leonard: I was going to say "or," but why bother?

Amy: What are we doing? This is a fort. Let's sit on the floor.
Sheldon: Roughing it? Okay.
(Sits on floor. Gasps)
Sheldon: Everything looks so big from down here. This must be how Leonard feels.

Sheldon: Do you need some pajamas and a toothbrush?
Amy: Would it alarm you to know that two years ago I've hidden some in your apartment for just such an ocassion?
(Produces bag containing pajamas)
Sheldon: It would, but you know how much I admire preparedness. But how did you know we'd be in the living room?
Amy: Who said this is the only one I hid?

Sheldon: I used to believe in evolution, but since I've evolved, I find I have outgrown it.

Howard: Settle this. Those little animated pictures on the Internet, are they called "gifs" or "jifs"?
Leonard: Well, the G stands for "graphics." That's a hard G, so I'd say "gif."
Raj: What? The guy who invented it says it's "jif."
Howard: I'm sorry, do you mean the guy or the juy?

Penny: I've never been on a podcast before.
Leonard: Well, you picked a good one to start. Wil's had lots of great guests, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden.
Penny: Those are Star Trek people.
Leonard: Yes.
Penny: I only figured that out because I've never heard of any of them.

Amy: Have a seat on the floor.
Sheldon: Not there. That's my spot.

Penny: I think I started to suspect it was a bad movie when I looked at the script and saw the title, Serial Ape-ist 2: Monkey See, Monkey Kill.

Sheldon: I'll get the blankets, you Google how to have child-like fun.

Kevin Smith: Hey man, yo, is everything okay, Wil? 'Cause it's been, like two minutes and you haven't even brought up Stand by Me.

Josh Wolowitz: So, I have to ask, was the robot sexy?
Howard: It was actually just a mechanical hand.
Josh Wolowitz: 'Cause that's all you need, right?
Howard: You are my brother.

Penny: What is the harm if I audition?
Leonard: Well, what if you get it?
Penny: I don't know, I make a movie, we could become rich and famous, win an Oscar, a Golden Globe and live an incredibly wonderful life.
Leonard: From a Kevin Smith movie?
Kevin Smith: Oh, I'm hanging up now.
Wil Wheaton: Don't you listen to him, buddy. You're awesome! You're one of the greatest directors of our time.
Kevin Smith: I don't have a part for you, Wheaton.
Wil Wheaton: (Hangs up on Kevin) And that was Kevin Smith

Leonard: Well, you kids have fun. I'm going to go to sleep.
Sheldon: Leonard, don't you want to see the inside of the fort?
Leonard: Yeah, I'm good.
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I really wanted to tell someone they can't come in.
Leonard: All right. Sheldon, may I please come into your fort?
Sheldon: I want to say no, but it's just too glorious. Come on in!

Penny: Okay, instead of protecting me, why don't you try being excited when something good happens?
Leonard: I'm always excited for you. I'm excited that you found this new job where you're making decent money.
Penny: Decent? I make twice what you make.
Leonard: Wait, twice?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: Like times two, twice?

Sheldon: I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated.
Howard: Well, uh... something happened different from the way you wanted it.
Sheldon: I guess news travels fast.

Amy: When there was a lice epidemic at my school, everybody got it except me. I tried to fool everyone by sprinkling sugar in my hair, but I just got attacked by bees.

Sheldon: I can just picture them all right now at Feynman's house, probably discussing Schr?dinger and at the same time not discussing Schr?dinger.

Penny: So, how many people listen?
Wil Wheaton: Most people download it later, but usually a few thousand people listen live.
Penny: What? A few thousand people listen to you talk about nerd stuff?
Wil Wheaton: Again, right in the ears, straight to the feelings.

Wil Wheaton: Leonard, a moment ago, you were dead set against Penny resuming her acting career, but now you're all for it. Is it fair to say she played you like a violin?
Leonard: Yes it is, Wil.

Raj: So, how's it going with the title to the house?
Howard: Great, it's all done. The lawyer tracked down my father and got him to sign it over. I didn't have to meet him, I didn't have to talk to him, I don't even know where he is.
Raj: Wow, so you're not curious at all?
Howard: Nope.
Raj: What if he's in prison? What if he's a spy? What if he's in a Beatles cover band? I'm just saying, if he's got your nose and haircut, he'd make a killer Ringo.

Wil Wheaton: Hello, caller, you are on with Penny and Wil from Serial Ape-ist 2.
Caller: I don't have a question. I just want to say I'm a big fan of the movie. I've seen it, like, ten times.
Penny: Okay, well, I'll apologize for the first time, but the other nine are on you.

Wil Wheaton: You know that the movie actually has a little bit of a cult following.
Penny: Really?
Wil Wheaton: I was at a science fiction convention and I saw a woman dressed as your half-ape character.
Leonard: Oh, if she was with an Indian guy dressed like a banana, that was just my friends, Howard and Raj.

Josh Wolowitz: I've always dreamed of having a brother to play catch with.
Bernadette: Hmm, keep dreaming.
Howard: Hey, I threw out the first pitch at an Angels game.
Josh Wolowitz: Wow.
Bernadette: He did it with a robot.
Josh Wolowitz: You had sex with a robot?
Howard: That's not what she meant.
Raj: But technically, yes.

Notes and Trivia

At the beginning of the episode, Howard and Raj are seen arguing over the pronunciation of GIF. Howard and Leonard argue that it is "gif" because the g stands for graphics, while Raj argues that it is pronounced "jif" because so says the creator of it. In fact, Raj is actually correct in its pronunciation. The creator, Steve Wilhite, has publicly stated multiple times that "jif" is the only acceptable pronunciation. He and his team wanted to pay homage to the Jif peanut butter brand by stating "choosy programmers choose jif", a play on Jif's slogan "choosy moms choose Jif".

Goofs

None

Cast

Privacy Policy | Affiliate Link Disclosure | Contact Us