S09E05 - The Perspiration Implementation

No: 188  |  Season: 9   Episode: 5  |  Air Date: 2015-10-19  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: Well, I'm not sure I have a dominant leg. They're both pretty submissive.

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Summary

Kripke expresses interest in Amy while leading a fencing lesson for the guys. Meanwhile, Stuart seeks help from the girls in getting more women interested in the comic book store.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Eric Kaplan & Maria Ferrari / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Jim Reynolds & Saladin K. Patterson

Script

Script: S09E05 - The Perspiration Implementation

Quotes

Raj: When was the last actual exercise you got?
Howard: The other day, when she tried to put that Fitbit on me and I ran away.

Sheldon: I smell funny. I taste salty.
Leonard: You're just sweaty from exercise.
Sheldon: And kind of delicious. I wonder how many licks it would take to get to the center of me.
Leonard: I know it only takes one doctor's finger.

Sheldon: You know, when my honor is insulted, and I need to challenge someone to a duel by slapping them across the face with my glove.
Leonard: When was your honor insulted?
Sheldon: My last physical.
Leonard: Again, that doctor didn't insult your honor, he just checked your prostate.

Leonard: Hey, ready for lunch?
Howard: Oh, one sec.
Sheldon: Is that the prototype drive system for the high-G rover?
Howard: No, Bernadette got me a Fitbit so she can track how much I'm exercising.
Leonard: That'll teach her to care about your health.
Howard: Yeah, I can't wait to see the look on her face when I die young.

Bernadette: Stuart took that rejection like a pro.
Penny: Well, he knew he was on the breast cam.
Amy: I don't have much practice turning men down. It wasn't so much fun.
Bernadette: Oh, you get used to it. Some guys you have to turn down over and over.
Penny: And sometimes we marry them anyway.

Sheldon: Excuse me, Barry?
Kripke: Yes?
Sheldon: When can I stab one of my friends?
Kripke: In fencing, we don't call it a stab. We call it a touch.
Sheldon: Uh, yes, I'm aware. But if I say I want to touch one of my friends, I'll get called into Human Resources.

Bernadette: Howie?
Howard: What's up?
Bernadette: Why does your Fitbit say you ran 174 miles yesterday?

Penny: Uh, have you read the online reviews for this place?
Stuart: Eh, the Internet's so negative. I try to avoid it.
Penny: All right. Well, Heather H. says, "The owner stared at me the whole time and didn't blink once." Kelly M. says, "The creepy guy who runs it asked me out, then called himself stupid before I could say no." Jessica K. says, "I told the weird owner that I liked his shirt. He took it off and gave it to me."
Stuart: See? Negative.

Raj: My name is Little Orphan Annie. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Howard: My name is Darth Vader. I am your father.

Leonard: I'm surprised you wanted to go to a sports bar, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Look at this blister. Like it or not, we're athletes now.

Leonard: Listen, I should warn you that maybe asking Amy out isn't a good idea.
Sheldon: Barry, a word?
Leonard: And now the crazy version of what I just said.
Sheldon: If you intend to pursue Amy, you leave me with no choice but to put a stop to it.
Kripke: And how are you gonna do that?
Sheldon: By challenging you to a duel.
Kripke: You've had one lesson. I'll destroy you.
Sheldon: That is why the duel will take place at high noon, three years from today. If you're worth your salt as an instructor, I should be ready by then. Yeah, and be warned. I'm going to touch you all over.
Leonard: Wow, that was crazier than I thought.

Leonard: Look at all these activities the university has. Rock climbing club, archery, flag football.
Sheldon: Had me at flag, lost me at football.

Kripke: Gentlemen, welcome to the fencing club. Before we start, I just want to warn you, fencing isn't a joke. I hope you're not here because you think it's going to be like Star Wars.
Leonard: That's not why we're here.
Raj: Yeah, I'm here because I think it's gonna be like Game of Thrones.
Howard: And maybe a little Princess Bride.
Raj: Ooh, ooh! I forgot about Princess Bride! That's my answer!

Sheldon: According to a recent study, simply thinking about exercise, even while sitting still, can have physical benefits. For all you know, I could be exercising right now.
Raj: Are you?
Sheldon: Nah, I'll do it tomorrow.

Sheldon: Excuse me. I'm recovering from a recent breakup, and I'm told asking out another woman might make me feel better. And as Ash Ketchum said to Pikachu, "I choose you."
Natalie: What?
Sheldon: It's a Pokemon reference.
Natalie: I don't know what that means.
Sheldon: Well, we gave it a shot.

Leonard: Barry Kripke started a fencing club.
Sheldon: Interesting. Sword fighting does hold a certain elegant appeal. And I would imagine it meets many of our personal criteria for a sport.
Leonard: It's indoors, so no sunscreen.
Sheldon: No throwing, no catching, no running.
Leonard: No gym shorts that can be yanked down.
Sheldon: Or worse, up.
Leonard: Preach.

Penny: I think it's great you guys want to get more exercise, but do you really think sports is the right choice for you?
Leonard: What are you saying? We're not coordinated enough to play sports?
Penny: Okay, Leonard, sweetheart, you twisted your ankle playing Scrabble.
Leonard: I got a triple-word score with a double letter Q. If that's not a time to bust out the Scrabble dance, what's the point of having one?

Notes and Trivia

In the opening sequence, Sheldon is wearing a shirt with a transliteration matrix for the comics-version of the Kryptonian alphabet.

Title Reference: The title refers to the machine that Howard invents to make it look like he was exercising.

Goofs

None

Cast

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