S09E12 - The Sales Call Sublimation

No: 195  |  Season: 9   Episode: 12  |  Air Date: 2016-01-07  |  Runtime: mins

Leonard: So you'll go to the Doctor Who convention with me next week? Penny: I guess. Leonard: Oh, I actually did hear your eyes roll that time.

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Summary

Penny gets more than she bargained for when Leonard agrees to meet with a psychiatrist on her behalf to make a sale. Meanwhile, Sheldon and Raj collaborate on an astronomical discovery, and Howard and Bernadette's happiness is short-lived after Stuart moves out.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Steve Holland & Jim Reynolds & Saladin K. Patterson / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Maria Ferrari & Anthony Del Broccolo

Script

Script: S09E12 - The Sales Call Sublimation

Quotes

Raj: A medium-sized asteroid.
Sheldon: That's it? How common. That's the chicken fingers on the menu of space.
Raj: I kind of like chicken fingers.
Sheldon: Yeah, me too. I was just stuck for a metaphor.

Stuart: I just have never been in this room while you're awake.

Howard: Too busy to call? He wasn't too busy to binge-watch Hot in Cleveland with my Hulu password!

Leonard: Dr. Gallo made me realize that I'm a worthwhile person and that my feelings matter.
Raj: I learned that for free from a cat poster, but good for you.

Raj: So I was thinking, maybe we can come up with a name for the asteroid by combining our names.
Sheldon: That's a great idea. I've got it! We'll call it Cooper.
Raj: How is that both our names?
Sheldon: "Koo" from Koothrappali and "per" from Cooper.
Raj: Yeah, so it's, like, Kooper with a "K"?
Sheldon: Nah, you're right, that's dumb.

Penny: There's this doctor who refuses to see any sales reps. I'm trying to get in for months.
Leonard: Hm, did you try wearing the shirt I said was inappropriate for work?
Penny: Oh, the doctor's a woman. But... yes, because you never know.

Dr. Gallo: (about Leonard) Here's a man raised by an overbearing woman who completely dominated every aspect of his formative years. Do you think he's perpetuating that relationship by seeking out a partner like you?
Penny: You know, I used to wear tank tops a lot. That was a big selling point.

Sheldon: I'm glad to see you made it safely. How's your hotel?
Amy: (via computer) It's not the best Best Western I've been to, but let's say it's... the third best Best Western I've been to.
Sheldon: I know how you feel. The Best Buy by my house is only the third best Best Buy. They have the best buys, but having the best buys isn't the only thing that makes a Best Buy the best Best Buy.
Amy: What makes a best Best Buy the best Best Buy?
Sheldon: Hmm, that's a great question. I like when they're next to a Chipotle.
Amy: OK; well, I should unpack.
Sheldon: All right. Enjoy the neurobiology conference.
Amy: I will. I... wish you were here.
Sheldon: At a neurobiology confere- what a mean thing to say!
Amy: OK, I'm glad you're *not* here?
Sheldon: Aw, you always know just what to say after I tell you what to say.
Amy: Good-bye, Sheldon
Sheldon: Bye.

Leonard: (about his mother) Do you know, she never let me celebrate my birthday because being born was her achievement, not mine.
Dr. Gallo: That's heartbreaking.
Leonard: Right. To this day I send her a card every year with a little money in it.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Raj: Uh, making sure the telescope's camera is white field balanced.
Sheldon: Oh.
(pasue)
Sheldon: What are you doing now?
Raj: Still making sure the telescope's camera is white field balanced.
Sheldon: Ah, I see.
(pause)
Sheldon: How about now?
Raj: Now I'm making sure the telescope's camera is white field balanced and wishing you had a coloring book.

Bernadette: What do you think we should do with this room?
Howard: I was thinking a home theater, a gaming room; you know, like a man cave.
Bernadette: Why can't it be a woman cave?
Howard: As long as it has a home theater, a video game system, and you're not allowed in it, you can call it whatever you want.

Leonard: What I'm hearing is that you feel that I sometimes take too long to express myself, and you wish I'd be more succinct.
Penny: You're only hearing that because I cannot roll my eyes any louder.
Leonard: I know. After we talked about my issues with my mother - nothing too deep, just how she ruined my life - I told her about you and your drug, she said she'd be happy to see you.
Penny: Really! You're the best husband ever.
(she hugs him)
Leonard: Mmm. So you'll go to the Doctor Who convention with me next week?
Penny: I guess.
Leonard: Ohhh. I actually did hear your eyes roll that time.

Howard: You know, once we get the house back to ourselves we can be romantic in any room we want.
Bernadette: Great. I can finally show you where the laundry room is.

Leonard: (on how to name a discovered asteroid) You know what'd be nice? Name it after your girlfriends. Show them how much you care.
Raj: That is a great idea!
Sheldon: It's perfect. It appears romantic, but it's really just a rock in space that gets me out of Valentine's Day forever.

Raj: There's about six months of data on this hard drive. Why don't you go through it and see if you can spot any patterns or anomalies?
Sheldon: I'm on it. Hey, look at that: an Indian guy outsourcing a computer job to a white fellow.

Sheldon: Come on, Daddy needs a liveable planet he can rule with an iron fist.

Sheldon: I can be helpful; give me something to do. You know, my father took me to work once, and in ten minutes I figured out who'd been stealing from the cash register. It was my father. Dad lost his job, but Mr. Hinckley gave me a Fudgsicle.

Sheldon: Good news gentlemen! Amy's at a conference this weekend, which means I'm available to be entertained. As today's youth might put it, who wants to get their Sheld-on?
Howard: Bernie and I are getting the house ready for the remodel. We could always use an extra pair of hands.
Sheldon: Yeah, that sounds awful. Raj?
Raj: I've got time booked in the telescope room all weekend, scanning for rogue planets. You're more than welcome to join me.
Sheldon: That's the one to beat! Leonard?
Leonard: Oh, if anything, I'm trying to get my Sheld-off.
Sheldon: Well then, it looks like we have a winner. Congratulations.
Raj: Well, I should warn you, it's just looking at data for hours and hours on a computer screen.
Sheldon: Stop selling it kid, you won.

Howard: I'm about to suck something up. What do you think this object sounds like?
Bernadette: Howie, I don't want to play "Lego, toenail or pill" any more.

Leonard: (Playing jump rope with some girls) Remember, girls! You decide what makes you happy, not your emotionally withholding mothers!

Stuart: (watching Howard and Bernadette sleep) I really miss this.

Raj: How did you find that?
Sheldon: It wasn't difficult. You know how when you see prime numbers they appear red but when they're twin primes they're pink and smell like gasoline?
Raj: No.
Sheldon: Huh, I guess I'm a special boy. You know, sometimes when a boy is special he gets a Fudgsicle. Which, by the way, tastes like the speed of light.

Notes and Trivia

Sheldon and Raj name the asteroid they discover after Amy. In real life there's an asteroid named for Sheldon: 246247 Sheldoncooper, discovered on September 20, 2007.

Goofs

None

Cast

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