S09E18 - The Application Deterioration

No: 201  |  Season: 9   Episode: 18  |  Air Date: 2016-03-10  |  Runtime: mins

Leonard: We did our own search. Attorney: That's nice, but I think ours might be a bit more thorough. Sheldon: Get a load of this guy.

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Summary

Leonard, Sheldon, and Howard run into problems when they file for a patent for their infinite persistence gyroscope. Meanwhile, the girls give Raj dating advice when Emily reaches out to him after their breakup.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Steven Molaro & Eric Kaplan & Adam Faberman / Teleplay by: Steve Holland & Jim Reynolds & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S09E18 - The Application Deterioration

Quotes

Howard: OK, I gotta ask: why are you wearing a bow tie?
Sheldon: I've never applied for a patent before; I wanted to make a good impression.
Howard: The impression that your first name is Pee-wee?
(Leonard laughs)
Sheldon: Yeah, well, you're an engineer. End of joke. Burn.
Tim: Come on in, fellows.
Howard: See, he's not wearing a tie.
Leonard: Oh, he's a patent attorney; maybe his tie is pending.

Penny: Hang on, what if Sheldon had no choice but to be respectful?
Leonard: Is there a switch on the back of his neck we don't know about?

Sheldon: I just hope that this scholarship can rescue your child from the subpar education and menial life of an engineer.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: What? I didn't sign it yet.

Howard: Can you imagine if we make money with this?
Leonard: If we do, I am splurging on the best sinus irrigator money can buy.
Howard: That old sad story: a guy gets a little money, it goes straight up his nose.

Sheldon: Excuse me! I've been drafting contracts since kindergarten. Didn't need a lawyer to get me out of finger painting; don't need one now.

Sheldon: Any contract I sign is enforced by my own personal code of ethics.
Amy: And his obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. And scoot over; part of your shadow's on my spot.

Howard: What's to think about? We have an invention and want to move forward.
Bernadette: Howie, you are about to form a legal partnership with Sheldon Cooper.
Howard: All right, if you are going to calmly make excellent points, then I don't know if I want to talk to you. OK, I get it, and it's sweet that you're worried about me, but I can take care of myself.
Bernadette: I'm not worried about you; I'm worried about me. I don't want to go through this pregnancy listening to you complain about Sheldon driving you crazy more than you already do.
Howard: Here we go with the ironclad logic again.
Bernadette: You've had to work with him before; it hasn't gone well. Why is this time going to be any different?
Howard: Is the fetus helping you? cause that's cheating.

Howard: This contract looks good to me.
Sheldon: I'll say it looks good. It's in my proprietary font, Shelvetica.
Leonard: I want to say something obnoxious, but it is easy on the eyes.

Raj: (Raj has just refused to see Emily) That was rough, you guys.
Penny: I know, but you did it. I'm so proud of you.
Raj: Anyway, I'll leave you to your girls' night.
Amy: Are you sure you don't want to stay here with us?
Raj: No, I kind of feel like being alone right now.
Bernadette: Well, if you change your mind, we'll be here.
Raj: Thank you.
Penny: (as Raj leaves) Say hi to Emily for us.
Raj: Will do!

Sheldon: The revisions I made start on page four.
Penny: Wow, that is a lot of "whereupons".
Amy: You should see the Valentine's Day card he gave me.

Raj: (in car on phone) I hear what you're saying, but... I've known Emily a long time, and I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt.
Claire: All right, it's your life, but you know how this is going to end.
Raj: As a matter of fact I do. I'm going to comfort her because I'm a caring and decent friend who's happy to be there when she needs someone to talk to.
(cut to Raj and Emily in bed)
Raj: Good talk.

Raj: It's the thought that counts.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, beauty's on the inside, size doesn't matter. How much she spend?

Howard: Article 3. As it pertains to this project, Dr. Sheldon Cooper promises to abstain from all insulting or disrespectful language directed toward Howard Wolowitz, including but not limited to mockery of engineering, his height, his hair, his wardrobe, and his insane belief that the Ghost Rider movie was "not that bad".

Claire: Let me guess. The worst part about breaking up is she doesn't have her best friend to talk to any more.
Raj: That's exactly what she said! How do you know that?
Claire: I'm a girl. It's like page one out of the playbook.
Raj: Any chance you could send me a PDF of that playbook?

Sheldon: Hey, Leonard.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: If she doesn't think that we should apply for this patent, she's being "patently" absurd.
Leonard: Good one.
Sheldon: OK, you got it. See, I was afraid it was a thinker.

Penny: Sheldon, did you draw up the contract?
Sheldon: You bet I did.
Penny: (to Amy) Ooh. You're going to make out so hard tonight.

Sheldon: Sounds like a, uh, contract might be in order.
Leonard: Sure; we could write something up.
Sheldon: But which one of us should be the party who...
Howard: You can do it, Sheldon.
Sheldon: So stipulated!
Leonard: Once I found a stash of contracts under his bed. It was weird.

Notes and Trivia

It is revealed that Howard is a federal NASA employee on loan to Cal Tech.

It's revealed that Sheldon does his contracts using his own proprietary font "Shelvetica".

Sheldon's T-shirt is a reference to the origin of DC Comics' "The Flash", who gained super-speed when he was doused in a mixture of electrified chemicals after lightning struck his laboratory.

Title reference: the patent application for their invention causes a temporal deterioration in the relationship between Howard, Leonard and Sheldon.

Goofs

None

Cast

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