S10E13 - The Romance Recalibration

No: 220  |  Season: 10   Episode: 13  |  Air Date: 2017-01-19  |  Runtime: mins

Leonard: Damn. I burped so hard, i died in my game.

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Summary

Leonard and Penny ask for Sheldon's and Amy's help on putting the romance back in their marriage. Howard and Raj go to extreme lengths to stop the floor in Halley's bedroom from making noise.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Dave Goetsch & Anthony Del Broccolo / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Steve Holland & Saladin K. Patterson

Script

Script: S10E13 - The Romance Recalibration

Quotes

Howard: MIT's motto is "Mind and hand," which just so happens was also my motto as a lonely teenager.

Sheldon: They're still having girls' night across the hall.
Leonard: So, hang out with me and we'll have boys' night.
Sheldon: At our age, why don't we call it man's night?
Leonard: Because we just spent our allowance on comic books.

Sheldon: There's a cucumber in my water.
Amy: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Do they know it's there? Should I tell somebody?
Amy: It's there on purpose. It's refreshing.
Sheldon: (Takes a sip) Interesting. The world's most boring liquid and the world's most boring vegetable, but you put them together and... bleagh!

Howard: Right, got Halley to sleep.
Raj: I heard you on the baby monitor.Didn't think you could turn the theme from The Walking Dead into a lullaby.
Howard: Gotta get her hooked on TV, or one day she might want me to play outside.

Howard: Okay, this grid represents the room. All we have to do is plot out where the squeaks are and we can find a quiet path to the crib.
Raj: Looks like a map from Dungeons and Dragons.
Howard: Except the creature in the crib is a level nine poop monster.

Sheldon: If you find this draft acceptable, then I believe your new relationship agreement is ready to be signed.
Penny: Article 8, subsection B: Leonard will restrict video gaming in underpants to hours Penny is not home. This includes boxers, briefs, thongs, G-strings or anything else that calls attention to his pasty little thighs.
Leonard: Does it really need to say that?
Sheldon: I did this for free; lemme get a little something.
Leonard: Article 10, subsection C: If questioned, Penny may not say that everything is fine if it isn't. Other unacceptable responses include "It's nothing", "Don't worry about it" and "I said it's nothing; don't worry about it."
Penny: I think this all looks good.
Leonard: Me too.
Sheldon: Uh, well, great then. Here. You will sign here, date here, and, Penny, if you could initial here to indicate that you're accepting Leonard in 'as is' condition.
Amy: I remember signing our first relationship agreement.
Sheldon: You seem to be forgetting the 'no nostalgia' clause.
Amy: Quite right; got it.

(Penny enters to find the apartment romantically decorated)
Penny: What... what's all this?
Leonard: Well, it sounded like you were having a rough day, so I wanted you to come home to something nice.
Penny: Oh, that is so thoughtful.
Leonard: Hey, do you remember when we went wine-tasting in Santa Barbara, and you said that was the best ros? you'd ever had?
Penny: Yeh, I-I remember us driving up there, going to the winery and... uh, that's it.
Leonard: This wine is why.
Penny: Oh! Hey, what smells so good?
Leonard: Oh, I made your favourite: pizza bagels,
Penny: (she gasps) Pink wine and pizza bagels! It's like eighth grade all over again. I'm so lucky to have you!
Leonard: Now be careful; these are hot. I- I could explain the thermodynamics of why the cheese seems hotter than the crust, but instead, I'm gonna keep it to myself.
Penny: Oh. You always know what not to say.

Sheldon: You know, Penny went to this spa to be away from you; are you sure you should be going there?
Leonard: I don't want to wait two days for us to work this out.
Sheldon: Very well. You got married spur of the moment; I don't see why your divorce should be any different.
Leonard: I would pull this car over and kick you out, but... Penny dumps me you're all I got.

Sheldon: I get to write a contract? Then let's get this party of the first part started!

Leonard: (Leonard is playing a video game, sloppily spread on the couch. He belches) Damn. I burped so hard, I died in my game.

Penny: When was the last time you got a massage?
Amy: Sheldon walked on my back two weeks ago, but that was just because there was a spider on his pillow and he needed to get away.
Penny: Leonard stood on me once too, but he was just trying to see the Rose Parade.

Sheldon: Would you like to play a driving game I just invented?
Leonard: Is it about the failing state of my relationship with Penny?
Sheldon: Never mind.

Raj: It's nice to think that you grew up in this room and now your daughter's going to as well.
Howard: Mm. I hope she has the same amount of sex in it I did.
(beat)
Howard: None.

Raj: Why do you bounce with your hands in the air like that?
Howard: It's a tradition of my people.
(sings "If I Were a Rich Man")
Raj: Material Girl needs to be retired. That is your new karaoke song.

Sheldon: Leonard, I've been meaning to ask you; what size shoe do you wear?
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: I'm trying to take an interest in other people's lives.
Leonard: That's nice. I wear a size eight-and-a-half.
Sheldon: (laughing) That's small! So tell me, do you have any plans for the weekend?
Leonard: Are you gonna laugh at the answer?
Sheldon: Only if the answer is shopping for baby shoes.

Notes and Trivia

Leonard quotes some lyrics from "(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You" by *NSYNC, which was identified as Penny's favorite boyband in The Platonic Permutation (2015).

Title Reference: Leonard and Penny reconsider their married romantic relationship.

Goofs

None

Cast

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