S11E12 - The Matrimonial Metric

No: 243  |  Season: 11   Episode: 12  |  Air Date: 2018-01-04  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: I would like to make a toast. If only I could think of one... Someone else go.

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Summary

Sheldon and Amy pick their best-man and maid of honor by experimenting on the gang. Meanwhile, Leonard's self-confidence is still badly damaged after reading his brother's Christmas letter.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Maria Ferrari & Tara Hernandez & Jeremy Howe / Teleplay by: Steve Holland & Eric Kaplan & Andy Gordon

Script

Script: S11E12 - The Matrimonial Metric

Quotes

Sheldon: You really think you might get cold feet?
Amy: Actually, I was talking about you.
Sheldon: Amy, if there's one thing in this world I'm sure of, you are right to be worried. Goodnight.

Amy: I'm having trouble picking between Penny and Bernadette
Sheldon: Both are blonde, former waitresses, married beneath them

Howard: (referring to Sheldon and Amy) Are they acting strange?
Leonard: I don't think they're acting

Leonard: Sheldon gave me a brain-teaser. It's kind of fun. It's about a group of people at dinner, and you have to figure out where they can sit without fighting.

Leonard: Why can't Amy take you?
Sheldon: Because of the tradition of I can't see her the day the train's for sale
Leonard: Please see a doctor

Howard: (about a Swamp thing figure) It's a little expensive
Sheldon: What if it would make me happy to have it? Knowing I would wake up seeing it every morning for the rest of my life
Howard: Really? A dried clump of swamp grass?
Sheldon: Well Bernadette's no prize either

Amy: I don't have any secrets from you, do you have any secrets from me?
Sheldon: Yes, that's been weighing on me for years, come here
(he hugs her)

Howard: What you did was wrong and cruel, which the mother of my children finds oddly appealing.
Amy: So she still wants to be my maid of honor?
Howard: Maid of honor, hit-woman, whatever you need. Make the call.

Howard: (Sheldon had offered flower girl to Stuart) I thought Halley was going to be your flower girl
Sheldon: That makes more much sense, sorry Stuart, you're out

Penny: Hey, Halley can't reach the liquor cabinet. Why did you baby-proof it?
Howard: How did you know that we did?

Amy: (testing to see how well their friends know them) I was talking to my favorite aunt
Penny: Aunt Felda right?
Amy: Yeah
Penny: Did she ever figure what that thing on her knee was?
Amy: Turned out to be a chocolate chip
Penny: That makes sense, she does love to bake
Amy: She does, you are a thoroughbred!

Penny: Tell everyone your big news
Leonard: I'm starting a book
Sheldon: That would be news from Penny, you've read a book before

Sheldon: I don't know how I feel about all this baby-proofing, if Halley can't teach herself to walk down the stairs, maybe that's nature's way of saying the Wolowitz line ends here
Raj: Really? I thought Howard was nature's way of saying the Wolowitz line ends here

Stuart: Can I interest you in a cappuccino?
Sheldon: When did you start selling those?
Stuart: Someone left it here, but it's still warm.

Leonard: Hey, whatcha making?
Penny: Well, I spilled the cheese packet, so we're having mac & nothing.
Leonard: I'll just have the mac. Nothing gives me gas.

Notes and Trivia

This episode was taped on December 5, 2017, one day after Melissa Rauch had given birth to her daughter Sadie, which explains why she has only one scene where she is in bed.

Title reference: Amy and Sheldon use scientific measurements to decide who should fulfill which roles at their wedding ceremony.

Goofs

None

Cast

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