S01E12 - The Jerusalem Duality

No: 12  |  Season: 1   Episode: 12  |  Air Date: 2008-04-14  |  Runtime: mins

Okay, so we now have a socially awkward genius in a room full of attractive age-appropriate women.

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Summary

Sheldon decides to give up his work and focus on other tasks when a 15-year-old prodigy joins the university, so the other guys come up with a plan to get rid of him.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Jennifer Glickman & Stephen Engel / Teleplay by: Dave Goetsch & Steven Molaro

Script

Script: S01E12 - The Jerusalem Duality

Quotes

Leonard: The kid got a girl.
Raj: Unbelievable.
Howard: Did anyone see how he did it?

Sheldon: Here's the problem with teleportation.
Leonard: Lay it on me.
Sheldon: Assuming a device could be invented, which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, you would not have actually transported the individual; you would have destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another.
Leonard: How about that.
Sheldon: Personally, I would never use a transporter, because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.
Leonard: Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?
Sheldon: No, he would be exactly the same.
Leonard: That is a problem.

Penny: (to Raj) Still can't talk to me unless you're drunk, huh?

Sheldon: So! This is engineering, huh?
Howard: (on phone) I'll talk to you later.
Sheldon: Engineering, where the noble semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Oompa Loompas of science!

Sheldon: Today I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to... you know, that other guy.
Howard: Antonio Salieri?
Sheldon: Oh, God! Now even you're smarter than me.
Howard: You know, Sheldon, you don't have so many friends that you can afford to start insulting them.

Howard: Smart is the new sexy.
Leonard: Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart.
Raj: Maybe we're too smart... so smart it's off-putting.
Howard: Yeah, let's go with that.

Sheldon: Alright, and this is my office.
Dennis Kim: Is this part of the tour?
Sheldon: Nope. Goodbye.

Penny: Oh, hey guys, what's up?
Howard: We need a hot fifteen year old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Howard, that's racist. Any fifteen year old girl will do the trick.
(Penny slams door)
Raj: It's possible she may have misunderstood us.

Dennis Kim: (notices award certificate on wall of Sheldon's office) Wow! You won a Stevenson Award?
Sheldon: Yes! In fact, I am the youngest person ever to win it.
Dennis Kim: Really! How old?
Sheldon: Fourteen and a half.
Dennis Kim: Hm - you *were* the youngest person ever to win it.
Leonard: (grinning gleefully) It's like looking into an obnoxious little mirror, isn't it?

Dr. Gablehauser: What are you working on?
Sheldon: Something remarkable. Since my prospects for the Nobel Prize in physics have disappeared, thank you very much, I've decided to refocus my efforts and use my people skills to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Look, I'm going to solve the Middle East crisis by building an exact replica of Jerusalem in the middle of the Mexican desert.
Dr. Gablehauser: To what end?
Sheldon: You know, it's like the baseball movie. Build it and they will come.

Sheldon: 15 years old. Dennis Kim is 15 years old, and he's already correcting my work. Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, to... You know, that other guy.
Howard: Antonio Salieri?
Sheldon: Oh God, now even you are smarter than me.
Howard: You know, you don't have so many friends that you can afford to start insulting them.
Leonard: Just eat, Sheldon, you'll feel better.
Sheldon: Why waste food? In Texas, when a cow goes dry, they don't keep feeding it, they just... take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
Penny: I'm confused. Did Sheldon stop giving milk?

Sheldon: While Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naivet?, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me.

Raj: Do you know what he did? He watched me work for ten minutes, and then started to design a simple piece of software that could replace me.
Leonard: Is that even possible?
Raj: As it turns out, yes.

Leonard: C'mon, Dennis, I'll show you the Rec Center. They've got Nautilus equipment.
Dennis Kim: Do I *look* like I lift weights?

Leonard: So Dennis, how long have you been in America?
Dennis Kim: A year and a half.
Leonard: No kidding? You speak English really well.
Dennis Kim: So do you.

Sheldon: Howard, you're a Jew. If there was another wailing wall exactly like the one in Jerusalem. but close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs, would you still be able to wail at it?

Howard: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yes?
Howard: Go away!
Sheldon: Did Leonard tell you to say that?
Howard: Nah, I thought of it all by myself.
Sheldon: Huh. It can't be a coincidence. There must be some causal link I'm missing.

Raj: Hey, look at that. It's Dennis Kim.
Howard: Wow, I almost didn't recognize him.
Raj: You know, I kind of feel bad about what we did to him.
(Kim is locked in a kiss with a blond girl)
Leonard: (sarcastic) Yeah, we really ruined his life.
Sheldon: Screw him. He was weak.

Leonard: Okay, so we now have a socially awkward genius in a room full of attractive, age-appropriate women.
Howard: All he has to do now is hook up with one of them.
Leonard: Anyone else see the flaw in this plan?
Raj: We need a social catalyst.
Leonard: Like what? We can't get fifteen year old girls drunk.
Howard: Or can we...?
Leonard: No, we can't!

Sheldon: I really don't understand your objections, Dr. Goldfarb. Why wouldn't the Sonora desert make a perfectly good promised land?
Professor Goldfarb: Go away.
Sheldon: We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem.

Sheldon: I sense a disturbance in the Force.
Leonard: (in a Yoda voice) A bad feeling I have about this, hmm.

Raj: You know, if we were in India, this would be simpler. Five minutes with her dad, twenty goats and a laptop, and we'd be done.

Raj: We can't send him back to North Korea. He knows how to get out.

Penny: I really don't see what the big deal is.
Sheldon: Well, of course your don't. You've never excelled at anything.
Penny: I don't understand. Exactly how did he get any friends in the first place?
Howard: We liked Leonard.

Sheldon: I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested

Howard: Unbelievable. Components I built are on the International Space Station and I get a ticket for launching a model rocket in the park.
Leonard: I don't know if the ticket was so much for the launch as it was for you telling the policewoman "You have to frisk me. I have another rocket in my pants."

Dr. Gablehauser: Dennis, we've discussed this! We're in the process of updating our equipment, and we welcome your input on our research goals, and we've agreed to look the other way if you wanna use up to 20% of the grant money you attract to smuggle your grandfather out of Pyongyang.

Dr. Gablehauser: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Dennis Kim. Dennis is a *highly* sought-after doctoral candidate, and we're hoping to have him do his graduate work here.
Leonard: Graduate work? Very impressive.
Dr. Gablehauser: And he's only 15 years old.
Sheldon: Not bad. I, myself, started graduate school at 14.
Dennis Kim: Well, I lost a year while my family was tunneling out of North Korea.
Leonard: (to Sheldon) Advantage: Kim.

Howard: Sheldon, there's a diploma in my office that says I have a masters in engineering.
Sheldon: And you also have a note from your mother that says "I love you, Bubbeleh". But neither of those is a cogent argument for titanium over nanotubes.

Notes and Trivia

Leonard (Johnny Galecki) says "A bad feeling I have about this!" doing a Yoda impression. The line "I have a bad feeling about this" is said in every episode of the main Star Wars series, although Yoda (also from Star Wars) would probably have said "A bad feeling about this I have!".

Sheldon (Jim Parsons)'s comment about Dennis (Austin Lee) seeing The Matrix (1999) supposes that Dennis Kim is able to detect the "real" reality, from which the movie series takes its name, in which mankind is actually enslaved by machines who live off of human body heat and electrochemical energy. Most people, as depicted in the series of movies, are in a sort of state of hypnosis, living an artificial reality imposed on them.

The "shelf" Howard (Simon Helberg) is building is actually an inverted Kodiak Sidewinder motorized step (painted silver), used for entering/exiting lifted trucks.

When Dennis Kim (Austin Lee) enters Sheldon (Jim Parsons)'s office, his whiteboard features a massless two-loop self-energy diagram and the evaluation of the associated multiloop Feynman integral. Multiloop Feynman integrals appear when quantum-field amplitudes are constructed within perturbation theory. They are integrals over so-called loop momenta. Feynman integrals are usually complicated objects even in a one-loop approximation, so that the number of loops equal to two is already considered big.

Goofs

None

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