S02E23 - The Monopolar Expedition

No: 40  |  Season: 2   Episode: 23  |  Air Date: 2009-05-11  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: To begin with, you will remove funny bone for two hundred dollars. Howard: For this I went to MIT.

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Summary

Penny gets upset when she finds out Leonard and the guys plan to work at the North Pole for the summer.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Eric Kaplan & Richard Rosenstock

Script

Script: S02E23 - The Monopolar Expedition

Quotes

Leonard: Dinner's ready.
Sheldon: What are we having?
Leonard: Reconstituted Thai food.
Sheldon: Did you bring the dehydrated low-sodium soy sauce?
Leonard: Check.
Sheldon: Freeze-dried spicy mustard?
Leonard: Check.
Sheldon: Flash-frozen brown rice, not white?
Leonard: Uh, oh, sorry.
Sheldon: Not to worry. I hid it. Bazinga!

Sheldon: Howard, you will be practicing precision on the classic children's game Operation. You shall start by... removing the funny bone for $200.
Howard: And to think I went to MIT for this.

Howard: We're not really gonna go to the North Pole with him, are we?
Sheldon: I'm still within earshot. You might want to wait for my bedroom door to close.
(sound of Sheldon's door closing)
Howard: We're not really gonna go to the North Pole with him, are we?

Sheldon: (knock, knock, knock) Penny
Penny: (knock, knock, knock) Sheldon
(Sheldon is startled)
Sheldon: (knock, knock, knock) Penny
Penny: (knock, knock, knock) Sheldon
Sheldon: (knock, knock, knock) Penny
Penny: (knock, knock, knock) Sheldon
Sheldon: (knock, knock, knock) Penny
Penny: (knock, knock, knock) Sheldon
Sheldon: (knock, knock, knock) Penny
Penny: (knock, knock, knock) Sheldon
Sheldon: (knock, knock, knock) Penny!
Penny: What do you want?

Sheldon: I'm at the horns of a dilemma. Can you imagine me, Sheldon Cooper, at the North Pole?
Leonard: Easy peasy. I'm doing it right now.

Howard: Just imagine, if he accepts the offer, we could have an entire summer without Sheldon.
Raj: We could play outside.
Howard: We could sit on the left side of the couch.
Leonard: I could use the bathroom at 8:20.
Raj: Our dreams are small, aren't they?

Leonard: Sheldon, what are the words I can say right now to end this conversation and let me go back to sleep?
Sheldon: Odd. President Seibert posed the exact same question.
Leonard: How was it resolved?
Sheldon: It wasn't. His wife set their dogs on me and rendered the question moot..

Penny: Have a safe trip. Goodbye.
(closing the door)
Penny: It means I wish you weren't going.

Leonard: Sheldon, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sheldon: (waking up) I want another cookie, Meemaw.
Leonard: It's just me
Sheldon: But Meemaw was just making cookies.

Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.
Leonard: You really think so?
Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks... Bazinga.

Leonard: (At the North Pole) Darn it!
Howard: What?
Leonard: We're out of ice.

Sheldon: I'm a theoretical physicist. A career I chose in no small part because it's indoors. But if I'm able to detect slow-moving magnetic monopoles there, I will be the scientist who confirmed string theory. And people will write books about me. Third graders will create macaroni-art dioramas depicting scenes from my life.

Mrs. Koothrappali: If your friends all jumped into the Bay of Bengal and tried to swim to Sri Lanka, would you do it?
Raj: If you were behind me nagging, I would.

Penny: Sheldon says you're going to the North Pole.
Leonard: Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?
Penny: Yeah. I'm just a little surprised you didn't tell me.
Leonard: Oh, well, it all happened kind of fast, and we had to get physicals and buy thermal underwear and study up on, you know, snow and stuff. Sorry, I was gonna tell you.
Penny: Oh, hey, no, you don't have to apologize. There's no reason you have to tell me. I was just, you know, surprised.

Leonard: She didn't seem that upset that I was going.
Sheldon: No. Did you think she was upset?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Oh, good. I got one right. Are you upset?
Leonard: A little.
Sheldon: Two for two. I'm on fire.
Leonard: I know she's not my girlfriend or anything, but don't you think she'd feel a little bad that I'd be gone for the whole summer?
Sheldon: That feels like a bonus question. I'm going to stop right here and say I've had a great time.

Raj: I'm a Hindu. My religion says that if we suffer in this life, we are rewarded in the next. Three months in the North Pole with Sheldon, and I'm reincarnated as a well-hung millionaire with wings.

Sheldon: Did Han Solo give up when Luke was lying in the frozen planet of Hoth? No! He slit open a tauntaun and used its internal body heat to keep warm.
Howard: You heard the man. Hold him down while I cut him open.

(a comment Penny made has given Leonard second thoughts about going on the Arctic expedition)
Sheldon: Her missing you is an emotional state you find desirable.
Leonard: Yes, obviously.
Sheldon: All right. Well, given that missing you is predicated on you leaving, logic dictates you must leave.
Leonard: Yes, okay, but I'm gonna be gone for three months. What if she doesn't miss me that long and she meets someone else?
Sheldon: She does have a short attention span.

Leonard: (Corrects chart) There. How's that.
Sheldon: You actually had it right the first time. Once again, you have fallen for one of my classic pranks. Bazinga!

Leonard: Wait a minute! He offered to send you to the North Pole?
Sheldon: Yes. In fact, he was quite enthusiastic. He said "frankly, if I could send you tonight, I would."

Penny: Oh, Leonard, what time is it?
Leonard: It's 7 a.m. I'm sorry it's early, but we're leaving soon, and I needed to talk to you.
Penny: Okay.
Leonard: What did you mean when you said you're going to miss me?
Penny: Um, I don't know. You'll be gone and I'll notice.
Leonard: Okay, well, um, what about this? What does this mean?
Penny: Wine, credit card and late night television are a bad combination.
Leonard: All right, fine. What about that really long hug? What did that mean?
Penny: That wasn't a long hug.
Leonard: It was at least five Mississippis. A standard hug is two Mississippis tops.
Penny: Leonard, I don't know what to tell you. It was just a hug.
Leonard: Glad we cleared that up.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: I guess I'll see you.
Penny: Okay, have a safe trip.
Leonard: Thank you. Bye.
Penny: Okay, bye.
(Behind her door)
Penny: Means I wish you weren't going.

Penny: Well, I got you a little going away present.
Leonard: Oh, a blanket.
Penny: Oh, no, no, no, not just a blanket. See, it has sleeves. Yeah! So, you can, you know, be all snoodled up while you do your science stuff.
Leonard: Oh, wow, cool.
Penny: Oh, I'm gonna miss you.
(Long hug)
Penny: See you later.

Sheldon: You're in my spot.
Howard: (to Rajesh) There's not time for a crossbow. Get me an icicle.

Raj: What are you working on?
Howard: Crossbow.

Sheldon: Oh, boy.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I can't comment without violating our agreement that I don't criticize your work.
Leonard: Then what was "Oh, boy"?
Sheldon: Great restraint on my part.

Mrs. Koothrappali: I told you, no. Why don't you believe me?
Debbie Wolowitz: 'Cause it doesn't make sense to me. How can it be that in the entire country of India, there isn't one Outback Steakhouse?

Notes and Trivia

Howard suggests watching The Thing (1982), presumably because they are in the Arctic. "The Thing" is actually set in the Antarctic; every year, on Midwinter's Eve, the British Antarctic Survey hold a screening of "The Thing".

Marks the first time Sheldon says "bazinga". Parsons credits former show writer Stephen Engel with inventing the word. It became such a catchphrase on the show that a Brazilian species of orchid bee was later named 'Euglossa bazinga' in its honor, especially since this bee had long-time been confused with the Euglossa ignita, and had thus 'fooled' entomologists for years.

Marks the first time when there is a small glimpse of what Mrs. Wolowitz (voiced by Carol Ann Susi) looks like (when Howard (Simon Helberg) holds up his phone to the laptop on which the Koothrappalis skype in from India, there's a thumbnail photo of her on its display.

The title refers to their scientific trip to the far north to find monopoles and prove the validity of string theory.

Goofs

None

Cast

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