S03E20 - The Spaghetti Catalyst

No: 60  |  Season: 3   Episode: 20  |  Air Date: 2010-05-03  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: I'm also pleased to report that he's all cried out over you. Penny: He's been crying? Sheldon: Oh, I believe that was something else I wasn't supposed to mention.

Previous Next

Summary

Sheldon is forced to go behind Leonard's back to spend time with Penny following their breakup.

Director and Writers

Director: Anthony Rich
Writers: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady & Lee Aronsohn & Steven Molaro

Script

Script: S03E20 - The Spaghetti Catalyst

Quotes

Sheldon: (Coming into the apartment lobby) Uh oh.
Penny: (Standing by the mail boxes) What?
Sheldon: (Still at the doors) I was going to get my mail.
Penny: Okay.
(Sheldon doesn't move)
Penny: Are you hoping to get it telepathically?
Sheldon: I think you mean telekenitically. And no.
(Moves to the mail boxes)
Sheldon: I just wasn't sure of the protocol now that you an Leonard are no longer having coitus.
Penny: God, can we please just say "No longer seeing each other"?
Sheldon: Well, we could if it were true, but as you live in the same building you see each other all the time. The variable which has changed... is the coitus.
Penny: Okay, here's the protocol: You and I are still friends and you stop saying "coitus".

Sheldon: Well... then as my meemaw would say: "Looks like we butchered a pig but nobody wanted bacon."

Leonard: When you say "seeing Penny", what exactly does that mean?
Sheldon: We had dinner last night. She made spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in the sauce. Well, little hot dog. I had to give the other five hot dogs to a real dog. A real big dog. A hellhound. Tangential to the main story. Let me backtrack.

Raj: Do you think the elastic woman in The Incredibles needs to use birth control or can she just be a diaphragm?
Howard: Well, that's it. We're officially out of things to talk about.

Leonard: Why did you eat dinner with us?
Sheldon: I didn't want you guys to feel bad. Howard had informed me that my allegiance be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.
Leonard: Are you sure he didn't say bros before hos?
Sheldon: Well, I changed the phrasing so as not to offend the hos.

Penny: How's Leonard doing?
Sheldon: He seems alright, although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on. Although, now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that.

Raj: Here's a question, Howard. Don't you think you're going to Hell for eating sweet-and-sour pork?
Howard: Jews don't have Hell. We have acid reflux.

Leonard: What about you, Raj?
Raj: Oh, so now that you have no choice you want to hang out with me?
Leonard: Raj, we always hang out.
Raj: Oh, please. You know I'm the one you call when no one else will. If we were the Justice League, I'd be Aquaman.
Howard: I wish you were Aquaman. Then you could retrieve my mother from the old lady tank.

Sheldon: Just to be clear, do I have to stop saying "coitus" with everyone or just you?
Penny: Everyone.
Sheldon: Harsh terms, but alright. I'll just substitute "intercourse"
Penny: (sarcastic) Great.
Sheldon: or "fornication". But that has judgemental overtones, so I'll hold that in reserve.
Penny: So, how you been?
Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period.
Penny: You're just coitusing with me, aren't you?
Sheldon: Bazinga!

Raj: Hey, Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah?
Raj: I haven't had sex in a year.
Leonard: Where are you going with this, Raj?
Raj: Don't flatter yourself, dude.

Sheldon: I'm also pleased to report that he's all cried out over you.
Penny: He's been crying?
Sheldon: Oh, I believe that was something else I wasn't supposed to mention.

Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny,
(knock, knock, knock)
Sheldon: Penny.
(Knock, knock, knock)
Sheldon: Penny.
(Sheldon is holding up one hot dog)
Sheldon: Here. I had to trade the others for my life.

Leonard: Tell me why you woke me up or I swear to God I will kill you.
Sheldon: Do you really think death threats are an appropriate way to begin this conversation? Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.

Howard: The point is, you have to take sides. Are you on Team Penny or Team Leonard?
Sheldon: Which team picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: In high school, I was always in the team that picks last, unless there was a kid in a wheelchair.

Raj: Sure, he's over it. That's why he's been trying to invent that memory wiping device from "Men in Black".
Sheldon: Is he making any progress? Because I'd like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil.
Howard: So would Ben Affleck.

Penny: He's such an angel when he's asleep.
Leonard: Yeah. Shame he has to wake up.
Penny: I think we can do it.
Leonard: Smother Sheldon in his sleep? Wouldn't that be wrong?
Penny: No, be friends. You and me.
Leonard: Oh. Sure. Absolutely.
Penny: Good. I'm glad.
Leonard: Here's an idea. I'm just throwing it out there, friends who have sex.
Penny: Good night, Leonard.
Leonard: Good night.

Sheldon: (last line; while sleeping, calmly) No Goofy. No.

Penny: (checking her mail) Oh, damn. They canceled my Visa.
(flips to the next envelope)
Penny: Oh, yay! A new MasterCard!

Sheldon: I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghetti sauce.
Penny: Yep.
Sheldon: That's the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that's what the Romans made Jesus eat.

Raj: Do you think she's really doing that, or is it Photoshopped?
Leonard: I don't think Martha Stewart was ever naked with a bunch of fat Japanese guys.
Raj: You don't know that. Prison changes people.

Leonard: Whatever you do, don't let him near Goofy. He'll have nightmares and I'll be the one having to deal with it.
Penny: What's his problem with Goofy?
Leonard: You got me. He's fine with Pluto.

Notes and Trivia

The purple t-shirt Sheldon wears bears the symbol of DC Comics' Star Sapphire Corp, the members of which wield power rings powered by Love, represented by the purple band of the emotional spectrum.

Goofs

None

Cast

Privacy Policy | Affiliate Link Disclosure | Contact Us