S03E19 - The Wheaton Recurrence

No: 59  |  Season: 3   Episode: 19  |  Air Date: 2010-04-12  |  Runtime: mins

Stuart: Albino Bob couldn't make it, so I brought a substitute. I believe some of you know Wil Wheaton.

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Summary

Sheldon takes on Wil Wheaton in a game of bowling. Leonard and Penny's relationship comes to a crossroad.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Steven Molaro & Nicole Lorre & Jessica Ambrosetti / Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Dave Goetsch & Jim Reynolds & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S03E19 - The Wheaton Recurrence

Quotes

Penny: Having a little trouble catching your breath there?
Leonard: No, no, I'm good. If my P.E. teachers had told me this is what I was training for, I would have tried a lot harder.
(chuckles)
Penny: Do or do not. There is no try.
Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
Penny: I believe I quoted Empire Strikes Back.
Leonard: Oh, my God. I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda.
(they kiss)
Leonard: I love you, Penny.
Penny: (pause) Oh. Oh. Thank you.
Leonard: You're welcome. I just wanted to put that out there.
Penny: Oh, yeah, no, I, I'm, I'm glad.
Leonard: Good. Good; glad is good.
Penny: Yeah. Ahem. No, no. Um. So, it's getting pretty late. We should probably go to sleep.
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Okay.
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Hmm.
Leonard: Yeah, probably.
Penny: OK. Good night, sweetie.
Leonard: Good night.
(They kiss, then Penny rolls over and stares wide-eyed)

Sheldon: Be the ball, Howard.
Howard: Leave me alone, Sheldon.
(trying for a 7-10 split, Howard misses the pins)
Sheldon: You weren't the ball.

Leonard: Could we please talk about something else? Maybe something vaguely related to life as we know it on this planet?
Howard: Okay, how about this for a topic: Why is Leonard being a giant douche? Assuming giant douches are possible.
Sheldon: Of course they are. Leonard's being one.

Sheldon: (as Wil picks up a spare) A common spare; the Miss Congeniality of the bowling pageant. Before you jump on twitter to tout your modest accomplishment, watch how it's really done.
(picks up ball)
Sheldon: I am the ball. My thoughts are its thoughts. Its holes are my holes.

Raj: Beer. The magic elixir that can turn this poor, shy Indian boy into the life of the party.

Stuart: (on the phone) I'm telling you the Match.com chicks are much looser than on eHarmony. Uh, now I, I gotta call you back. I won a bet and it's time to collect.
(Howard, Sheldon, Leonard and Raj enter the comic store dressed as Batgirl, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, and Catwoman)
Raj: I don't know about you, but I feel empowered.

Howard: I thought you were bringing your own bowling shoes.
Sheldon: These are my own bowling shoes.
Howard: Then what's with the disinfectant?
Sheldon: I know where my feet have been.

Sheldon: Penny, reminder. Bowling, tonight at seven o'clock.
Penny: Oh, right. Bowling.
Leonard: Uh, you don't have to come if you don't want to.
Penny: No, no, it's okay. I mean, let's face it, you guys would get creamed without me.
Sheldon: We would indeed. In this particular case your lack of femininity works to our advantage.
Penny: Always nice chatting with you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Penny: Thinly-veiled contempt.
Sheldon: Remember: seven o'clock!
Penny: Got it!
Sheldon: Pacific Daylight Time.
Penny: Bite me!

Sheldon: Well, well, well, if it isn't Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider Man. The Pope Paul V to my Galileo. The Internet Explorer to my Firefox.

Sheldon: You did this, didn't you?
Wil Wheaton: You think I would really break up a couple just to win a bowling match?
Sheldon: No, I suppose not.
Wil Wheaton: Good. Keep thinking that.
Sheldon: (under his breath) Wheaton!

Stuart: You guys still on for bowling tonight?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. In fact, I've prepared some trash talk for the occasion. You bowl like your momma! Unless of course she bowls well, in which case you bowl nothing like her.
Stuart: Oh. Ouch.
Sheldon: That is what is referred to as a burn on you.

Sheldon: This is for you.
Penny: Ice cream?
Sheldon: I've been familiarizing myself with female emotional crises by studying the comic strip Cathy. When she's upset, she says "Ack!" and eats ice cream.
Penny: Uuum... Ack!
Sheldon: If you were a cat, I would've brought you a lasagna.

Raj: Ah, the premature "I love you."
Howard: I guessed premature. Does that count?

Sheldon: I so loathe you.
Wil Wheaton: That's right, Sheldon. Embrace the dark side.
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!

Penny: Leonard, stop pressuring me.
Leonard: I'm not pressuring you.
Penny: Yeah, you are! Just back off!
Leonard: Okay, I'm sorry. I'll shut up.
Penny: I didn't mean shut up.
Leonard: Fine. Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it.
Penny: No. That isn't fair to you, Leonard. I'm sorry.
(she heads for the door)
Sheldon: Wait! Where are you going? Penny, come back! I'll get you ice cream!
Leonard: No, let her go.
Sheldon: Are you insane? If she leaves, it's over!
Leonard: I'm pretty sure it's already over.

Leonard: Maybe I'm a little ahead of you. That's fine. In fact, it makes sense, 'cause let's face it, I've been in this relationship 2 years longer than you.

Wil Wheaton: You're not still carrying a grudge because I beat you at that card tournament, are you?
Sheldon: I'm the proud owner of wilwheatonstinks.com, .net and .org. What does that tell you?
Wil Wheaton: It tells me that I am living rent-free right here.
(Points at Sheldon's head)

Howard: What did you do, Romeo? Did you pour maple syrup all over your body and ask her if she was in the mood for a short stack?

Wil Wheaton: After you.
Sheldon: No, after you. As we are currently crushing you, Wesley.
Wil Wheaton: It's customary for the player on the right lane to bowl first.
Sheldon: All right.
(as Sheldon prepares to bowl, Wil bowls his own ball; Wil gets a spare, while Sheldon throws a gutter ball)
Wil Wheaton: (Sheldon stares at him, offended) It's a custom, not a rule.

Notes and Trivia

Before the scenes set in the bowling alley, when the atoms are shown rotating, one of the orbiting electrons transforms into a bowling ball.

Goofs

None

Cast

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