S04E09 - The Boyfriend Complexity

No: 72  |  Season: 4   Episode: 9  |  Air Date: 2010-11-18  |  Runtime: mins

Raj: My only friends would be my genetically engineered monkey butler, and the little people I hired to be my living chess set. Bernadette: He's taking a turn to the dark side, isn't he?

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Summary

Penny asks Leonard to pose as her boyfriend when her father visits. Howard, Raj and Bernadette have an awkward encounter when they spend the evening together.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Jim Reynolds / Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Steven Molaro & Dave Goetsch

Script

Script: S04E09 - The Boyfriend Complexity

Quotes

Leonard: D'you get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?
Howard: Wh... Where did that come from?
Raj: He never touched my telescope!
Howard: Way to go shutting up.
Raj: I did shut up. Now you shut up.
Howard: Fine.
Raj: Thank you.
(pause)
Raj: How come you didn't call me this morning?

Leonard: Why do I bother talking to you people?
Sheldon: If it'll make you feel better, we rarely listen.

Sheldon: Leonard is the signatory to the roommate agreement. As such, he bears responsibility for all your infractions and must pay all fines.
Leonard: Fines?
Sheldon: Yes. Penny's going to be spending nights here again, you'll need to set up an escrow account. Sign here.

Sheldon: Just so you know, I was up all night, but I have finally completed the Penny-specific section of the new roommate agreement.
Leonard: Yeah, well, not necessary. We broke up again,
Sheldon: (Sheldon throws the agreement up in the air) Do you even think about other people, Leonard? Do you?

Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened.
Sheldon: You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an interdimensional portal, which brought you 5,000 years into the future, where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back, to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we are transported to work in the Thinkatorium, by telepathically-controlled flying dolphins?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Awww...
Leonard: Penny kissed me.
Sheldon: Well, who would ever guess that?

Wyatt: Donnie was a rocket scientist compared to that boy who wanted to get beer pong into the Olympics. What was his name, sweetheart?
Penny: Curtis, and I'm pretty sure he was joking.
Wyatt: Well I don't know, that petition looked real to me.

Howard: Aah, this takes me back, Leonard obsessing about Penny. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your new stuff, but once in awhile, it's nice to hear the hits.
Raj: Ooh, ooh, do "Our babies will be smart and beautiful". That one always makes me laugh.

Leonard: Penny kissing me is not insane. She used to kiss me all the time.
Sheldon: Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. By that standard, Penny is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Wyatt: I thought we were past the days when you would try to pull the wool over my eyes. Telling me the baggie in your underwear drawer is potpourri. And the pee stick in your bathroom is to check for diabetes.

Wyatt: (Penny's dad, urging Leonard to get back together with her) Please, please, please don't give up on her!
Leonard: What?
Wyatt: I can't go back to the skateboard idiots, the white rappers, and all those sweaty dumb-asses with their backwards hats.
Leonard: Gee, I don't know if it's in the cards, sir.
Wyatt: Then stack the deck! Cheat! Lie! I don't care! I want grandkids before I die, and I want 'em to grow up in a house without wheels.

Leonard: (to Penny's father) I'll 'Friend' you on Facebook!

(Howard has invited Bernadette to join Raj, who is monitoring a telescope)
Bernadette: So, where's the telescope?
Howard: It's in Hawaii, but Raj controls it from here. He's hoping to see Epsilon Eridani dim, which would be evidence of a planet orbiting it.
Bernadette: So we just sit and stare at the screen, waiting for something to happen?
Howard: I did it with you, when we rented 'The Notebook'.

(Penny's father, Wyatt, sees Leonard kissing her)
Penny: C'mon, Honey, not in front of my dad!
Wyatt: Relax, I've seen you do a lot worse with a lot stupider.

Sheldon: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization and has been ordered by the United States Government to keep it a secret.
Raj: Noting happened. Can we please just change the subject?
Sheldon: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

Raj: You know who's got to be the bravest person in the Marvel universe? Whoever has to give She-Hulk her bikini wax.
Howard: Want to talk brave? How about Captain America's undocumented Mexican gardener?
Leonard: He's not braver than whoever uses the bathroom after the Thing.
Sheldon: As usual you're all wrong; the bravest person in the Marvel universe is the doctor who gives Wolverine his prostate exam.
Howard: How about the guy who gets a prostate exam from Wolverine?
Sheldon: Now you're just being silly. Wolverine never displayed the slightest interest in helping others prevent prostate cancer.

(Raj and Howard are playing Intergalactic Battleship)
Howard: C-7.
Raj: Miss.
Howard: How could that be a miss? C-6 was a hit. C-8 was a hit. Part of your starship has to be on C-7.
Raj: Not if it has a hole in the middle.
Howard: What kind of space ship has a hole in the middle?
Raj: A... Romulan battle bagel?

Penny: Sheldon, you don't have to do this, because Leonard and I are not...
Leonard: Bu-bu-bu-bu, are you sure you want to include him in this?
Sheldon: Include me in what? Is there a plot afoot? I'll have no truck with plots.
Penny: (to Leonard) No, you're right.
(to Sheldon)
Penny: No, there's, there's no plot, no trucks, no... feet.

Raj: Hello, Hawaii. This is Dr. Koothrappali in Pasadena. I'd like you to reposition the telescope please.
(pause)
Raj: Scarlett Johansson's house.
(laughs hysterically)
Raj: I'm kidding, Hawaii, mahalo!

Howard: Actually, Indian Monopoly is just like regular, except the money's in rupees, instead of hotels, you build call centers, and when you take a Chance card, you might die of dysentery.

Sheldon: I'd like to go over some proposed changes to the roommate agreement, specifically to address Penny's annoying personal habits.
Penny: Oh, my God! What personal habits?
Sheldon: I have a list. FYI, overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number twelve.

Penny: Do you know what I've been doing for the last hour?
Leonard: Mm, dreamily doodling Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter in a notebook?
Penny: Listening to my father go on and on about what a great guy you are.
Leonard: You gotta admit, I am, I'm delightful.
Penny: Why are you making this so difficult?
Leonard: (smirking) It's not difficult for me. I'm having fun.
Penny: Leonard!
Leonard: What do you want me to do? You started this. You wanna go over and tell him we're broken up?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Well, then, what do you want?
Penny: I don't know.
Leonard: Don't you think that's something you should have figured out before you stomped over here?
Penny: (pauses) Maybe.

Raj: I can't be drinking! I'm about to make an important scientific discovery here!
Howard: What - ? Galileo did his best work while drinking wine.
Raj: How do you know that?
Howard: Well, he was Italian. It's a reasonable assumption.
Raj: Dude, can you even open your mouth without spewing a cultural stereotype?
Howard: Oh, I'm sorry, Galileo drank diet Sprite!

Penny: I kinda told my father we got back together again.
Leonard: What? Why?
Penny: Well, you're the first guy he's ever really approved of, you know, you're a scientist who went to college, and you don't have a neck tattoo or outstanding warrants or - or a baby.
Leonard: What kind of guys did you used to go out with?
Penny: Just guys. Anyway, when I told him we split up, he was heart-broken, and he kept bugging me: "How's Leonard?", "Why can't you get back together with Leonard?", "I bet Leonard never tipped a cow over on himself."

Sheldon: (answering the phone) Hello.
Sheldon: Yes, the elevator's out of order; you'll have to use the stairs.
Sheldon: Of course you can. Pizza dates back to the sixteenth century while the first elevator was not installed until 1852; that means that for over three hundred years people carried pizzas up stairs. Be part of that proud tradition.
Leonard: I'll go get Penny while that guy spits on our food.

Sheldon: I don't care for novelty editions of Monopoly. I prefer the classics: regular and Klingon.

Notes and Trivia

Bernadette says that Howard constantly uses the joke that his fortune cookie says, "Help. I am a prisoner is a fortune cookie factory." Simon Helberg, who plays Howard, used the same joke in an extra included on the Season 3 DVD of the show where the actors cracked open fortune cookies to read questions to each other.

One of the computer screens in the telescope lab shows the user name "saltzberg". David Saltzberg is the show's science consultant.

The piece of paper that clings to Sheldon's head immediately after throwing the Penny-specific Roommate Agreement section in the air was completely unintentional. Jim Parsons and Johnny Galecki can be seen on the DVD set's gag reel smiling at this happening; they completed the scene, and the part where they broke character was edited out.

This marks the first episode where Bernadette imitates Mrs. Wolowitz.

When Raj mentions "Our babies will be smart and beautiful" to make fun of Leonard about him and Penny. This is an obvious callback to the pilot when after Penny goes back to her apartment he says the same thing.

Goofs

None

Cast

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