S04E22 - The Wildebeest Implementation

No: 85  |  Season: 4   Episode: 22  |  Air Date: 2011-05-05  |  Runtime: mins

Bernadette: I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest. Amy: You are, with hair that smells like strawberries. And we're going to use that to our advantage.

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Summary

Sheldon invents a three-player chess game, Penny and Amy use Bernadette to spy on Leonard and Priya, and Raj tries a new drug to treat his social anxiety.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Steven Molaro & Eric Kaplan / Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Eddie Gorodetsky & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S04E22 - The Wildebeest Implementation

Quotes

(about a pair of shoes)
Penny: Ooh, these are cute. Of course, if I buy them, I'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple.

Raj: Thank you for coming with me, Sheldon. You're a good friend.
Sheldon: I'm glad you think so. That's what I strive to emulate.

Amy: How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom?
Bernadette: I don't want anything in my ample bosom.
Amy: Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team.

Bernadette: You texted me Penny's dating an astronaut.
Amy: I texted architect. That's amusing. Auto-correct must've changed it.
Bernadette: Yeah, it's hysterical.

Sheldon: (about his new 3-person chess game) Do you know how I solved the balanced center combat-area problem? Five words: transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation.
Leonard: That, that's brilliant.
Sheldon: It's what I do.

Amy: How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member.
Bernadette: Well, what makes me the weakest member?
Amy: Your trusting nature, coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.

Sheldon: (playing 3-person chess) My Catapult flings my Bishop to Howard's Queen's Gorilla two.
Howard: Nice. Okay, Rook to Transporter Pad. And he comes out at Leonard's Queen's Bishop five-and-a-third. Check on Leonard.
Leonard: Hang on. When is my Pawn allowed to use the Golf Cart?
Sheldon: When it's done charging. Or you land on the Time Machine - obviously.
Leonard: Oh, oh, Beekeeper to King twelve. I capture your Pope and release the Swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon.
Sheldon: I knew I should have given my Pope the jet pack.
Raj: (standing naked in the kitchen) Hey, I've got winners.

Amy: Have a good night. Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away.

Bernadette: I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whup that out of you in Catholic school.
Amy: Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.

Bernadette: I can't do this anymore! I'm a good girl! I went to Catholic school!

Raj: (Considering taking anti-anxiety medicine) As a scientist, thinking is my bread and butter. I'm afraid if I take these I might lose that unique, special something that has made me so successful in my field.
Sheldon: Rajesh, I've had the privilege of working alongside you for many years. My advice to you is that you gobble these up like Tic-Tacs.

Penny: Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?
Amy: I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any.
Penny: No?
Amy: I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop.

Amy: Until I met you and Bernadette, my trips to the bathroom had been entirely focused on elimination. Now, they have a delightful social aspect.
Bernadette: Amy, you must have been in the bathroom with other women before.
Amy: Of course I have. But, they were strangers and seemed off-put when I engaged in friendly stall-to-stall chit chat.
Bernadette: Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.

Sheldon: I don't know what color lonely is.
Raj: What?
Sheldon: Red is angry, yellow is frightened, green is jealous, and blue is depressed. Perhaps we can assign a color to lonely.
Raj: Nothing rhymes with orange. It's probably lonely.
Sheldon: All right. Come in. You positively orange with loneliness.
(Raj enters the apartment)
Sheldon: No, I don't see that catching on at all.

Bernadette: Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard to have dinner with her and Leonard?
Penny: Oh, that's nice.
Amy: No it's not. It's a strategic maneuver. Leonard's new girlfriend is testing Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group. That bitch is crafty.

Sheldon: I must say, Leonard, ever since you've been having regular intercourse, your mind has lost its keen edge. You should reflect on that.
Leonard: Excuse me, but Einstein had a very busy sex life.
Sheldon: Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces. If he hadn't been such a hound dog, we'd all have time machines.

Notes and Trivia

During the coffee shop scene, after Raj takes off his underwear, Sheldon can be seen smiling/smirking which is why he has his finger over his mouth at that moment.

There are in fact several three-player chess variants. The type Sheldon designed has custom pieces (the Old Woman, the Grand Empress). These types of custom pieces are called "fairy-pieces" by chess aficionados.

Goofs

None

Cast

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