S07E13 - The Occupation Recalibration

No: 148  |  Season: 7   Episode: 13  |  Air Date: 2014-01-09  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: Too bad. I'm coming with you. Leonard: Oh, Sheldon, stay. Sheldon: But. Leonard: I said stay. I'm going to work. Do not follow me.

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Summary

Sheldon tries to relax after he is forced to take a vacation. Leonard struggles to be supportive of Penny after she quits her job. Amy receives unwanted attention from a co-worker. Bernadette seeks Stuart's help in replacing one of Howard's comic books.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Eric Kaplan & Maria Ferrari & Tara Hernandez / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Jim Reynolds & Steve Holland

Script

Script: S07E13 - The Occupation Recalibration

Quotes

Leonard: How did she get you to do yoga?
Sheldon: Well, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda.

Penny: Why can't Leonard understand it?
Sheldon: Because he's not like us, Penny. We're dreamers.
Penny: Yeah, I need to start cracking the window when I leave you in the car.

Bert: You just don't wanna go out with me because I have an off-putting personality.
Amy: No, that's not true. My boyfriend has an off-putting personality too, like way worse than you.

Penny: Hi.
Leonard: Hey.
Penny: I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I just needed some time to think.
Leonard: Okay.
Penny: Come in.
Leonard: Look if you want to break up, just say it.
Penny: Leonard.
Leonard: No, no, no. I take it back. Don't say it. Just just hate me but stay with me. It worked for my parents.
Penny: Listen. I don't want to break up with you.
Leonard: Oh, okay. Good... good. So is it cool if I cry a little?
Penny: Yeah, I probably wouldn't.
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Look you did the right thing last night. I was a mess. Just frustrated because my career's going nowhere.
Leonard: I get it. And, and I want you to know that I support *whatever* you want to do.
Penny: Great. Because I've been thinking, if I really want this acting thing to work I need to focus all my energy on it. And to do that, I should quit waitressing at The Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard: Wow! Tha-that's a big step.
Penny: I know.
Leonard: So, before making any rash...
Penny: I already quit.
Leonard: And I support you.
(Penny hugs Leonard)

Penny: Why are you sitting in the stairwell?
Sheldon: Leonard told me to stay.
Penny: Oh. Well, good boy.

Bert: Thanks for coming to the Mineral and Rock Show with me.
Raj: We're sorry Amy didn't want to go.
Howard: Really, really sorry.
Bert: Who cares? Who needs her when I have you guys!
(yells)
Bert: Rock show. Rock show. Rock show.
(yells and pounds dashboard)
Bert: Rock show. Rock show. Rock show. Rock Shooooooooooooow.

Man V.O.: Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a peaceful place.
Sheldon: All right. I'm at the Hadron Supercollider.
Man V.O.: Now breathe in...
(Sheldon inhales)
Man V.O.: ... and out.
Sheldon: Wow. Didn't see that coming.
Man V.O.: Once again. In...
Sheldon: (Inhales) Let me guess.
Man V.O.: ...and out.
Sheldon: What was I going to do, two ins in a row?

Bernadette: You know, I do work at a pharmaceutical company. If you can make this happen today, I can hook you up with anxiety medication, anti depressants...
Stuart: Really? Do you have any of these?
(Dumps full shoebox of medicine bottles onto counter)

Sheldon: It's an outrage!
Leonard: I know.
Sheldon: The university, they think they can do whatever they want; we just have to sit there and take it.
Leonard: You need to let it go, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You work tirelessly for someone and this is what you get.
Leonard: Oh my God!
(shouting)
Leonard: They're just making you use your vacation days.
Sheldon: Well, I don't want a vacation.
Leonard: Listen, I don't mean to diminish what you're going through, but I'm a little distracted right now.
Sheldon: Oh, this *again*! So Penny proposed. You didn't say yes, and now you think you may have lost her love forever. How does this compare to my being forced to relax fora few days?
Leonard: (shouting) It doesn't!
Sheldon: Thank you!
Leonard: I'm going to go talk to Penny.
Sheldon: I'm going to go inside, put on my coziest pajamas, curl up with a good book and wait for this nightmare to be over.
(Leonard knocks three times on Penny's door)
Sheldon: Penny.
(they stare at each other)
Sheldon: Sorry.

Amy: Hello, Mr. Rat Brain. Not so bitey without the rest of the rat to back us up now, are we?

Leonard: You taking Hollywood by storm?
Penny: Actually I'm at the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard: You got your job back. That is great news. I mean I didn't want to say anything but you are making the right choice. To plunge yourself into debt right now would be literally insane.
Penny: Yeah, I'm just returning my uniform.
Leonard: And I support you.

Penny: I know you think I'm being reckless, and you might be right, but I need to take this shot!
Sheldon: Yeah, no kidding. Despite what it says on her resume she is no longer 22.
Leonard: I swear, I am on your side.
Penny: You keep saying you're on my side, but you don't act like it.
Sheldon: He does that to me too. Why do we put up with it?
Leonard: Listen. I could never do what you're doing, okay? I would be terrified.
Penny: Well, it's scary for me too.
Sheldon: I'm fine with it.
Leonard: My point is, just because I couldn't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't. And I'm proud of you.
Penny: Okay. Thank you.

Bernadette: There's a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine and he's a much nicer person than you are and if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jesse: No problem. Oh, d'you want a latte while you wait?
Bernadette: No, I don't want a latte! I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone!
Jesse: I only have chocolate chip.
Bernadette: Well, that sounds even better!

Howard: You want us to talk to him?
Amy: Really? You would do that?
Raj: Sure. We've both been in his shoes; we'll let him down with compassion and respect.
Amy: Thank you.
Howard: Let's go.
(Raj and Howard leave the lab)
Raj: So we tell him she's a lesbian.
Howard: Of course we tell him she's a lesbian!

Sheldon: I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals.
Penny: Yeah, well, I don't think we're going to get to do that today.
Sheldon: Too bad. Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze.

Howard: Does he know you're dating Sheldon?
Amy: I guess it hasn't come up.
Howard: There you go.
Raj: And does Sheldon know you're dating Sheldon?
Amy: I'm sorry, who are you dating?
Raj: Yeah, knock it off, Howard!

Howard: You know, if you'd rather skip lunch and hang out with your boyfriend, Bert, it's totally OK.
Amy: He's not my boyfriend.
Raj: Are you sure? He's tall, pale, and awkward. That sounds like your type.
Amy: Should someone as lonely as you really be making fun of me?
Raj: Yeah, grow up, Howard! God!

Bernadette: Did I startle you?
Stuart: Yes. But at this point, pretty much any customer does.

Leonard: I thought we were in the kind of relationship where we make decisions together. If I'm wrong, then maybe we need to talk about the kind of relationship we're actually in.
Penny: Yeah, well, maybe we do.
Sheldon: I'm willing to if you guys are.
Leonard: Can we please have some privacy?
Sheldon: No, I'm as much a part of this relationship as you two, and I think it's high time we put all our cards on the table. For example, where is this going? Are you two ever getting married? And if so, where will we all live? Have you thought about that?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Penny?
Penny: Okay, wait. What are we doing?
Leonard: For some reason, we're planning a future where we both live with a Sheldon forever.

Bernadette: I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books this morning, and I was hoping I could replace it.
Stuart: Wow, what happened?
Bernadette: Batman got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
Stuart: Don't let The Riddler know that.
(pause)
Stuart: It's a comic book joke.
(pause)
Stuart: Or maybe it's not.

Sheldon: What if there's a big breakthrough in science today and I'm not there to see it?
Leonard: Do you really think there's going to be a breakthrough without you there to do it?
Sheldon: No. I was just tricking you.

Sheldon: Where's my lemonade?
Penny: I didn't get it.
Sheldon: A fitting swan song to your career as a waitress; to forget my order one last time.

Amy: I'm just going to go find him an- and be brutally honest.
Raj: No, don't.
Raj: He'll be so upset. He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building and start swatting at planes.

Notes and Trivia

Captain Sweatpants' last appearance on the show, and also the only episode in which he has lines.

The rare comic book that Bernadette is trying to replace is "The Dark Knight Returns", the famous Batman story written by Frank Miller.

Goofs

None

Cast

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