S08E03 - The First Pitch Insufficiency

No: 162  |  Season: 8   Episode: 3  |  Air Date: 2014-09-29  |  Runtime: mins

Howard: You realize this isn't one of those times I want you to exaggerate how long something is.

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Summary

Howard becomes nervous after NASA asks him to throw out the first pitch at a Los Angeles Angels game. Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny try to prove Sheldon wrong when he says that he and Amy have a 'superior' relationship.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Jim Reynolds & Anthony Del Broccolo / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Steve Holland & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S08E03 - The First Pitch Insufficiency

Quotes

Leonard: I've seen you two sit next to each other doing different things.
Sheldon: It's called parallel play.
Leonard: Toddlers do that.
Sheldon: Not as well as we do.

Raj: So you never played baseball as a kid, not even Little League?
Howard: I was going to, but the day of tryouts, I found my dad's Playboy collection. Threw my arm out.

Sheldon: The ranking of relationships in our circle by quality is: me and Amy, Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his girlfriend, Penny and Chardonnay, Penny and you.
Leonard: There isn't any ranking and if there were, we wouldn't be at the bottom.
Penny: Yeah, and actually I drink Sauvignon Blanc.
Leonard: That's the part you have a problem with?
Penny: Relax.
Amy: There they go fighting again. You'd never hear her talk that way to Sauvignon Blanc.

Amy: How about this? You stay for the game, I'll buy you some cotton candy and a bobblehead.
Sheldon: Bobblehead of whom?
Amy: Does it matter?
Sheldon: Not as long as it bobbles.

Raj: You suck, Wolowitz!
Howard: What the hell was that?
Raj: I'm heckling you. It's a beloved baseball tradition.
Sheldon: He's right. And considering you're still waiting to be called for a game you played in fifth grade, you probably do suck.

Sheldon: Did you enjoy my lecture?
Amy: No, and neither did our waiter.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but if you're going to serve Cornish game hen, you should either know all about the history of Cornwall, or be prepared to learn it. You can't argue with that.
Amy: I know, I saw a poor, sad man trying to and failing.

Bernadette: I could give you a few pointers. I played softball.
Howard: That would be great.
Bernadette: And while you're at it, maybe we can work on butching up your run.
Howard: What's wrong with the way I run?
Bernadette: Oh, nothing.
(Mimes a girly run as she exits)

Leonard: He's practicing.
Penny: For what?
Howard: The Angels wanted an astronaut to throw out the first pitch, so guess who they called?
Penny: What, you? Really?
Howard: Well, a lot of people who weren't available, but then me!

Amy: So, when do you guys plan on getting married?
Penny: Uh, we're not sure, but I want to wait long enough to prove to my mother I'm not pregnant.

Mike Massimino: Hey Fruit Loops, what's up?
Howard: Hey Mike, listen, NASA asked me to throw out the first pitch at an Angels game. You got any advice?
Mike Massimino: Yeah. Don't do it. What else you up to?
Howard: Why shouldn't I do it?
Mike Massimino: There's no upside. If you do well, no one cares. And if you screw up, you're an idiot on YouTube forever.

Sheldon: Okay, new plan: we go to Disneyland, play hide-and-seek on Tom Sawyer's Island, and come back in time for the end of the pitch.

Howard: Even professional pitchers need a rubdown after the game.
Bernadette: If you were throwing an actual ball. You were throwing air at a TV.
Howard: For your information, I also gave Leonard one hell of a high five.

Leonard: A relationship is not something you can quantify.
Sheldon: Everything is quantifiable. This french fry? A seven. Spider-Man? A nine. The number nine? Oddly enough, a four.
Leonard: How ridiculous is he?
Penny: A hundred.

Raj: You suck, Wolowitz!
Sheldon: He makes a valid point!

Raj: I like how they put a waterfall on centerfield. It really ties everything together.
Penny: Look at you talking sports.

Notes and Trivia

it is estimated that the Mars rover would take about 7 minutes to deliver the ball to home plate.

Title Reference: The title refers to the inability of Howard to execute the ceremonial first pitch at a Los Angeles Angels baseball game.

Goofs

None

Cast

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