S09E08 - The Mystery Date Observation

No: 191  |  Season: 9   Episode: 8  |  Air Date: 2015-11-12  |  Runtime: mins

Raj: We could set it up like a scavenger hunt where the last puzzle gives the winner Sheldon's contact information.

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Summary

Sheldon, Howard and Raj post an ad online to find a new girlfriend for Sheldon. Penny and Bernadette decide to spy when Amy is secretive about who she is dating.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Steven Molaro & Eric Kaplan & Jim Reynolds / Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Steve Holland & Tara Hernandez

Script

Script: S09E08 - The Mystery Date Observation

Quotes

Leonard: Are you done yet? I have to go to the bathroom.
Bernadette: (Hands Leonard a bottle) Right here.

Dave: You know, I once drove 500 miles to hear him speak at Stanford.
Amy: I have a DVD of that lecture.
Dave: Really? Wasn't it great?
Amy: Not as a Valentine's present, no.
Dave: Well next time you watch it, I'm the bloke who asked the question that he said was stupid and obvious. It was the nicest thing he said to anyone there,

Sheldon: I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum. Sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.
Raj: You're not wrong about Fruit Stripe. I- I was always a Hubba Bubba man.
Howard: Hubba Bubba over Double Bubble? You're crazy.
Raj: Hey, the jaw wants what it wants!

Amy: Some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
Penny: No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.

Raj: Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you. You know what they say: opposites attract.
Sheldon: By that logic, I should be with someone short, dull and needy. Not to cast aspersions, but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that.

Amy: If you don't mind me asking, why did you and your wife split up?
Dave: Oh, you know how it is. We wanted different things. I wanted children, and she wanted a pastry chef named Jean-Philippe.
Amy: Oh, I'm, I'm so sorry.
Dave: Ah, that's fine. That's why I left England. It reminded me too much of her - cold, gloomy and easily accessed by a Frenchman through a tunnel.

Sheldon: Excuse me, no one does a better job pretending to be a person than I do. Siri comes close, but I know more jokes.

Leonard: I don't understand why we're leaving so early for the movie.
Penny: Oh, I forgot to tell you. We're gonna meet up with Bernadette to spy on Amy and her date.
Leonard: What? I don't want to do that!
Penny: What, and you think I want to see a documentary about aluminum can recycling?
Leonard: This is the movie that Big Soda doesn't want you to see.
Penny: No, it's the movie your wife doesn't want you to see.

Sheldon: That's a lot of carbohydrates for a man on the prowl. But you eat it; you're married; it doesn't matter what you look like.
Penny: Don't take advice from a man who threw his shoe at a crow.

Sheldon: That's it! The Sheldon Cooper Girlfriend Challenge is officially alive.
Howard: Congratulations!
Raj: This is exciting.
Sheldon: Right now, somewhere, a woman is dividing the atomic weight of the best noble gas by the number of colors in the oldest national flag still in use!
Howard: Then using that number as the average speed to calculate the travel time from Mordor to the Shire!
Sheldon: And taking her first step towards a lifetime of laughter, love and, best of all, rules.

Penny: So where's tall, British Dave taking you?
Bernadette: Over for some tea and basketball?

Dave: Thanks for driving me home.
Amy: No problem. I'm really sorry about your car.
Dave: Oh, it's all right. If you're free next weekend, I'd like to take you out again.
Amy: Um, listen, you're a really nice guy, but I just, I don't think this is working out.
Dave: Oh. OK.
Amy: I'm, I'm really sorry.
Dave: Aif- At least the same woman that rejected Sheldon Cooper rejected me.
Amy: There you go, huh!
Dave: If I ever do meet him, we'll have that in common.
Amy: Sure, huh.
Dave: And he's kissed you, and I've kissed you, so if you think about it...
Amy: OK, get out.

Penny: I think it's so adorable you're making Sheldon breakfast.
Leonard: Mm, he's having a rough time. Amy broke his heart. The DVR cut off the last minute of Dr. Who. That crow followed him home.
Penny: Aren't you worried you're making french toast on oatmeal day?
Leonard: Ah, well, what's this? A pot of oatmeal, or, thanks to you, what I will now call gloatmeal.
Penny: Oh, I don't want credit for that.

Raj: How could you send her away?
Sheldon: She was late. And she found atomic spectroscopy boring. I wouldn't coitus her with *your* genitals.

Penny: Damn, you're sneaky.
Bernadette: Yeah, but I'm little so it's adorable.

Notes and Trivia

Part of this was shot on the Warner Bros lot, the lot is known for being used as the exterior scenes of Stars Hollow on Gilmore Girls (2000). The restaurant where Amy and her date are eating was originally used as Doose's Market in the show.

The turquoise t-shirt Sheldon is wearing when he meets the contest winner appears to display the Green Lantern oath, written in Interlac, the language used by the Legion of Super-Heroes.

The whiteboard next to Sheldon's door shows two implicit functions (y^2=x^3-x and y^2=x^3-x+1) and what appears to be sketches of their graphs. Both are correct.

This is Lio Tipton's second appearance on the show, having first appeared as herself in The Panty Pi?ata Polarization (2008) as one of the models from America's Next Top Model (2003) tracked down by Howard and Raj.

Title Reference: The title refers to Penny, Bernadette and Leonard spying on Amy's date.

When Raj realizes their online challenge has succeeded, he yells out, "We are the dreamers of dreams." The original source of this may be the first stanza of a poem called "Ode" by Arthur O'Shaughnessy. The first two lines are also quoted by the candy maker in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971).

Goofs

None

Cast

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