S10E01 - The Conjugal Conjecture

No: 208  |  Season: 10   Episode: 1  |  Air Date: 2016-09-19  |  Runtime: mins

Bernadette: We're here today to celebrate love. Beverley: Urgh. Alfred: Sigh louder, no one heard you.

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Summary

As Leonard and Penny attempt to hold another wedding ceremony everyone can attend, they have to deal with Penny's family arriving and Leonard's father spending the night with Sheldon's mother.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Steve Holland & Tara Hernandez / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Eric Kaplan & Jim Reynolds

Script

Script: S10E01 - The Conjugal Conjecture

Quotes

Raj: There he is; that's my happy Hebraic home-boy.

Susan: Why did you have to go to jail?
Randall: It's called getting caught, mother!

Bernadette: I now pronounce you husband and wife. And weird other husband who came with the apartment.

Randall: We are not *white* trash.

Sheldon: So did you defile my mother or not?
Mary Cooper: Sheldon! You're bein' rude!
Alfred Hofstadter: If I may, I can assure you your mother and I did nothing more than share a cab and a conversation.
Sheldon: Did that conversation include the phrase 'your genitals are a joy to behold'?
Mary Cooper: That's enough!
Alfred Hofstadter: Look, I promise you neither I nor anyone has ever said that;
Leonard: You don't know his girlfriend very well.
Sheldon: Or what a joy it is to behold my genitals.

Sheldon: Leonard! Leonard!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You realize you and I could become brothers?
Leonard: We're not going to be brothers; we're not going to be step-brothers. Go to sleep.
Sheldon: I hope you're right, 'cause a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.
Leonard: Go to sleep.
Sheldon: OK.
(pause)
Sheldon: You think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny: Your parents are old; anything unspeakable was finished by .9:30. Go to sleep.
Sheldon: Very well.
Leonard: (quietly to Penny) I'm sorry if this stuff is going to make the ceremony awkward.
Penny: Ah, I thought my brother fresh out of jail was going to make everyone uncomfortable, but now this...
Sheldon: Hey, if you want me to sleep, you're going to have to stop talking.

Howard: (on the phone) What? Oh yes, he is from India... no, I don't know his immigration status
(Raj freaks out)
Howard: Relax, I'm still on hold.

Susan: It's just we're meeting Leonard's parents for the first time and, and they're academics and, and intellectuals and I don't want them thinking we're white trash.
Randall: Well, what color trash do you think they'll believe?

Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: I don't see why I have to watch your father parade around with some bible-thumping bumpkin.
Sheldon: Excuse me, that's my mother you're talking about, however accurately.

Susan: Penny, I don't know what I was worried about; your friends are just lovely.
Penny: Aw, thanks, mom.
Susan: Although that Sheldon is a bit peculiar.
Penny: Is he? I never noticed.
Wyatt: Reminds me of that turkey we had who drowned looking up at the rain.
(they all laugh heartily)
Randall: Cops! Cops! Be cool.

Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary Cooper: They're practising for what's coming later.

Wyatt: I'll drink to that.
Susan: Haven't you had enough?
Wyatt: Penny drinks more'n I do.
Penny: Well, I learned from the best.
Wyatt: Aw.

Wyatt: Welcome to the family, Leonard. Don't lend your new brother-in-law money.

Amy: You'll be at the airport an hour before your flight.
Mary Cooper: Good.
Sheldon: Plenty of time for you to meet another geriatric boy toy.
Mary Cooper: Hey! I will not have you be disrespectful to me.
Sheldon: Yes ma'am.
Amy: Sheldon, your mother's an attractive woman. You need to get used to the fact that men are going to be interested in her.
Sheldon: And you need to drive the car and mind your business.
Amy: I will not have you be disrespectful to me.
Sheldon: You're not my mother.
Mary Cooper: Don't you be disrespectful to her!
Sheldon: Yes ma'am.

Notes and Trivia

This is one of, if not the only, episode with the most guest stars. Penny had 3 family members (Katey Sagal, Keith Carradine, Jack McBrayer); Leonard has 2 (Judd Hirsch and Christine Baranski); and Sheldon's mother played by Laurie Metcalf. Dean Norris also begins a multiepisode run as Colonel Richard Williams.

This is the second consecutive season that begins with Leonard and Penny getting married.

This will be the second series in which Katey Sagal will play Kaley Cuoco's mother. The first one was 8 Simple Rules (2002).

Goofs

None

Cast

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