S11E04 - The Explosion Implosion

No: 235  |  Season: 11   Episode: 4  |  Air Date: 2017-10-16  |  Runtime: mins

Of course, there are my female colleagues, but, uh, they're all Freudians, so the only boy that I can dish about is my father.

Previous Next

Summary

Howard and Bernadette are disappointed when they find out the sex of the baby. Leonard is annoyed when his mother befriends Penny.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Bill Prady & Maria Ferrari & Tara Hernandez / Teleplay by: Steve Holland & Eric Kaplan & Jeremy Howe

Script

Script: S11E04 - The Explosion Implosion

Quotes

Penny: (her phone chimes) Leonard, did you really just text me from the couch to put extra mustard on your sandwich?
Leonard: I was worried you might not check your e-mail.
Penny: (her phone chimes again) I swear to god, I will throw this out.
Leonard: That one was not me.
Penny: (checking her phone) Oh, wait, it was just your mom.
Leonard: My mother's texting you?
Penny: Yeah. We've been talking a lot lately.
Leonard: Why? She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall?

Howard: (about a model rocket from his childhood) Could never bring myself to open it without him. It's silly.
Sheldon: No, it's not silly. I always wanted my dad to build rockets with me, but he wasn't interested.
Raj: Ah, yes, disappointing fathers. Tell me about it. I remember for my sixteenth birthday, my dad bought me a Mercedes. Like, a little one, like a starter Mercedes. He had barely handed me the keys before he had to rush back to work. I didn't see him again 'till, like, pretty late that night.
Howard: Anyway... as angry as I was with him leaving, building this stuff is probably what led me to become an engineer.
Sheldon: I suppose, in his own way, my dad also encouraged me to pursue science. I mean, he is the one that taught me that flatulence is combustible. And also, polyester gym shorts don't burn. They melt.

Leonard: I want to know, why aren't you proud of me?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Well, isn't the real question why aren't you proud of yourself?
Leonard: No, that is *a* question - and I ask it a lot - but let's stick with the one I asked you.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: But why do you think I'm not proud of you?
Leonard: Because you never say it? But two days into chatting with Penny, and you can't stop telling her how great she is.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: She is great. Honestly, of all of my children's spouses, she's the one that I'm most impressed by.
Leonard: Seriously?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Yes. She's confident, she's thoughtful, and she never complained about you once. I know what kind of strength that takes.
Leonard: So Penny's your favorite?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: I suppose she is. You married well, Leonard, and for that, I am proud of you.

Amy: Don't you want a little version of Howard?
Bernadette: I already have a little version of Howard.
Howard: Now I'm having a son? I'll have to teach him how to play sports, and... and *watch* sports, and... and... and... and... and... and...
Raj: (to Leonard) He just ran out of man things. He's in trouble.

Sheldon: Do you think I could try going a little faster?
Howard: Go for it, champ.
(he gives Sheldon a soft, fatherly shoulder punch)
Sheldon: Ow.
Howard: Sorry. Just ease on the gas and...
(as Sheldon steps on the gas, the car lurches forward)
Howard: OH, TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH!
Sheldon: Why was I scared of this? This is exhilarating!
Howard: No, it's not! Slow down!
Sheldon: Don't tell me what to do! You're not my father!

Howard: (letting Sheldon drive) Your hands are at 10:00 and 2:00. Good. Steady on the gas. Okay. Now, you're gonna want to slowly switch lanes.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Because there are only two, and you're not in either of them.

Penny: Oh, uh, hey, Beverly, you called my phone, not Leonard's.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Actually, I was hoping to speak with you. Is this a good time?
Penny: Uh, that depends. What time is it where you are?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: (checking her watch) Uh, just after 5:00.
Penny: (taking a wine bottle from the fridge) Yeah, that counts. What's up?

Sheldon: Are you gonna be this mopey all the way home?
Howard: I don't know. Maybe.
Sheldon: There any chance you'd be cheered up by an amazing trigonometry riddle?
(Howard looks at him in exasperation)
Sheldon: Well, if you can't answer that, there is no way you're gonna get this riddle.

Howard: You really want to drive?
Sheldon: It seems like the perfect time. The roads are straight, there's no one around, and you don't seem to care if you live or die.
Howard: Live, Sheldon. I want to live.
Sheldon: That makes things a little trickier, but I'll do my best.

Leonard: (Howard is nervous about having a son) It's okay. We're all here to help.
Sheldon: Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. You know, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.
Leonard: Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
Penny: Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.

Howard: I should have brought peanuts.
Sheldon: You can't eat peanuts. You're allergic. If you die, who's going to drive me home?
Howard: I'm not gonna eat them. It's a thing they do at JPL. When the Ranger mission finally had a successful launch, there were peanuts in the room. Ever since then, they have them at every launch.
Sheldon: That sounds like a silly supersition.
Howard: It's more of a tradition.
Sheldon: Oh! I do love a tradition. Pull over at the next peanut store.
Howard: I don't think that's a real thing.
Sheldon: Oh, don't be pedantic. Any nut store will do.
Howard: I... I don't think we can get peanuts out here.
Sheldon: Ah, well, then this whole day's ruined.
Howard: Now that I think about it, maybe it is more of a superstition.
Sheldon: Whew! That was close.

Leonard: You got a sec?
Amy: Sure. What's up?
Leonard: Penny's been talking to my mother like they're best friends, and it's kind of freaking me out.
Amy: Okay... I am pretty sure they're not best friends. 'Cause you can only have one best friend. And Penny has that, and...
(she clicks her tongue)
Amy: ...it's me.
Leonard: Oh, really? Is she FaceTiming with you right now? Because she's FaceTiming with my mom, and believe me, that is not a face you want to spend time with.

Sheldon: You know, studies have shown that people distracted by emotional issues are poor drivers.
Howard: What about people distracted by irritating passengers?
Sheldon: That would be hard to test, because "irritating" is a subjective quality.
Howard: Strongly disagree.

Howard: (in his garage) I haven't looked at all this stuff in years.
Sheldon: Had it. Had it. Burned down my garage with it.
Raj: I had three model rockets as a kid, and that was the largest space program in India.
Sheldon: You have a replica Saturn V?
Howard: Yeah. My dad bought it before he, you know, abandoned our family.
Sheldon: Lucky duck.

Raj: So, you know, I understand why Howard is nervous about having a son, but are you really upset about it?
Bernadette: No, I'm fine. It's just I grew up with a bunch of brothers, so I thought it'd be nice for Halley to have a sister. Is that wrong?
Raj: Of course it's wrong! You don't know what this little boy's gonna be like. Maybe he'll be rough and tumble, or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive, or maybe he'll be all those things, like me.
Bernadette: You're rough and tumble?
Raj: You bet I am, bitch. But I'm also sensitive and regret saying that.

Bernadette: Howie, there's a lot of amazing things you can teach a son.
Raj: Yeah. You do always know how to pick just the right antacid.
Howard: I don't know if I can teach that. It's just something I was born with.

Raj: What's all this?
Bernadette: I'm just boxing up all the clothes Halley's outgrown. I guess we won't need them anymore.
Raj: Oh, well, slow down. I'm sure there's some you could re-use for a boy.
Bernadette: (holding up a onesie) "Daddy's little girl"?
Raj: Okay, well, what if we, uh, change it to say "Daddy's little girl magnet"? Boom! Boy shirt.
Bernadette: (holding up a tutu) What about this?
Raj: Uh, okay. Uh, pull off the skirt, slap a lightning bolt on the front, and you got baby Flash. Ooh! Stick a long sleeve under it, boom! Baby Sheldon.
Bernadette: Wow, you're really good at this.
Raj: Oh, please. This isn't my first time turning girl clothes into boy clothes.
Bernadette: Why? You got your sister's hand-me-downs?
Raj: Yeah, that.

(following their own trains of thought)
Amy: Well, I have been pretty busy lately. Maybe I've been neglecting our friendship.
Leonard: Penny knows I have a complicated relationship with my mother; it's like she doesn't even care.
Amy: And with everything going on at the lab and planning the wedding, I just... I have so little free time.
Leonard: Penny doesn't know how manipulative my mother can be. Did you know there's such a thing as reverse, reverse, reverse psychology? Because...
(indicating his head)
Leonard: ...there is.

Dr. Sanders: So, you two ready to find out the sex of this baby?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Absolutely.
Dr. Sanders: Is Halley hoping for a little brother or a little sister?
Bernadette: Well, she's nine months old, so unless it jingles or is in my bra, she doesn't care.

Penny: Do you not want me to be friends with your mom?
Leonard: Well, let's be clear. I... I married you to hurt her. You're kind of ruining it.

Penny: Hey, where you going?
Leonard: Back to the dry cleaner. Look at this. They didn't get the stain out of my Starfleet uniform.
Penny: Well, if you didn't make me wear the green body paint in bed, you wouldn't have to get it dry cleaned so much.
Leonard: Nah, it's worth it.

Police Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Sheldon: 112.
Police Officer: Let me see your license.
Sheldon: (quietly to Howard) Okay, here's the plan.
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Fine.
(handing the officer his license)
Sheldon: There you go. You know what? You can just keep it.

Howard: All right, here we go. L-minus ten, nine...
Sheldon: Wait, what are you doing? It's "T-minus".
Howard: I was an astronaut. We used "L-minus".
Sheldon: But this is a Saturn V, and when they launched those, they said "T-minus".
Howard: It's my rocket! We're doing it my way.
Sheldon: Fine. I'm not saying I know why your dad left, but I think I'm getting an idea.
Howard: L-minus ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
Sheldon: 'Cause you're kind of bossy.
Howard: ...five, four, three, two, one...
(rather than lifting off, the model blows up)
Sheldon: I remember them going up higher.

Howard: Well, that's perfect. I mean, the one thing I thought I could do with my son, I can't even do that right.
Sheldon: Well, if you want to see it again, I got it on video. Looks pretty cool in slow motion.
Howard: Thank you for your support.
Sheldon: You're welcome.
Howard: I was being sarcastic.
Sheldon: How dare you!
Howard: Sheldon, what am I gonna do? I mean, what do I know about raising a boy?
Sheldon: What do you know about raising a girl?
Howard: Oh, my god, you're right.
Sheldon: Well, I don't know if that was sarcasm or not. So either "You're welcome" or "Hey!".

Howard: (as the doctor's office) It feels like it wasn't that long ago we were here doing this for Halley.
Bernadette: 'Cause it wasn't. Which reminds me, before we leave, let's get you a vasectomy.
Howard: Oh, that's sweet, but today is all about you.

Howard: You know, as a kid, I used to make model rockets. That'd be pretty cool to do with a son.
Sheldon: Model rockets. Finally, something interesting. What is your preferred mode of conveyance?
Amy: Sheldon, we're helping our friends.
Sheldon: And we got to model rockets, yeah? It was a tedious road, but well worth the effort.
Amy: So, have you thought of any names?
Sheldon: Amy, we finally got to model rockets. Why are you turning back?

Raj: Come on, you can't really be disappointed.
Howard: Hey, I barely know how to be a man myself. Now I have to teach someone?
Sheldon: Hmm. As the saying goes, those who can't do, teach.

Sheldon: Can I drive?
Howard: No. You can't drive. You don't even have a license.
Sheldon: Actually, I do?
Howard: Really? Since when?
Sheldon: Three years ago. I went on a bit of a license kick. I'm also a commercial fisherman.
Howard: Then why don't you ever drive yourself?
Sheldon: Honestly, I barely passed my test. And the one time I drove on my own, I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up, and walked home.

Sheldon: Reason number thirteen to feel good: as a launch, it was bad, but as an explosion, it was glorious. Reason fourteen: you still have all your fingers, and boys prefer a dad with fingers.
Howard: Thanks for trying, but you're not gonna be able to cheer me up.
Sheldon: Well, how about this, then? You quit your whining before I give you something to cry about, young man.
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Those are comforting words my father would often say.
Howard: Did it help?
Sheldon: I turned out great. You tell me.

Penny: Hey, Beverly.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, hello, Penny.
Penny: Uh, Leonard just left. He's gonna be so upset he missed your call.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Why?
Penny: Because he... yeah, I don't know. How are you?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Did you mean personally or professionally?
Penny: Um, personally? Like, what'd you do last night?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: I had Cuban food at the home of a man with whom I shared unsatisfying intercourse.
Penny: Wow. Okay.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: And to anticipate your next questions, roasted pork and sideways missionary.
Penny: Sure. Sure. 'Cause you were full.

Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: You may find this surprising, but I don't have a lot of what you would call girlfriends.
Penny: (exaggerated surprise) What?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Of course, there are my female colleagues, but, uh, they're all Freudians, so the only boy that I can dish about is my father.
Penny: Uh, well, you know, I'm here for you. What do you want to talk about?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Well, last time, we focused on my life. If we're going to be real girlfriends, we should talk about you, as well.
Penny: Well, you know, if we're gonna be real girlfriends, we should get a third girl we can trash behind her back.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, so we'd be catty. Oh, I like it. What about Sheldon's fiancee? She seems a bit dour.
Penny: Ooh, "dour". Meow.

Howard: You know what? Forget the past. What do you say you and me build this rocket?
Sheldon: That sounds like it could be a real bonding experience for us.
Howard: Right?
Sheldon: Oh, I see. Oh, you think that's a positive.

Raj: (using a sewing machine) Oh, hey. Hey, what do you think?
Bernadette: Just because it's a boy, I don't think you need to put a picture of genitals on his shirt.
Raj: But that's a baseball bat with two little baseballs.
(tilting his head)
Raj: Okay, and now I see it.

Notes and Trivia

Howard and Bernadette's second child is revealed to be a boy.

On Howard's shelf, alongside the model rockets, are several model aircraft. They include, from left to right, NASA's SOFIA (Stratospheric Observatory for Infrared Astronomy) Boeing 747, a World War II US Army Air Forces C-47 with D-Day operational markings, a USAF T-38 trainer (a type of aircraft also used by NASA as a chase plane), and an AH-64 Apache attack helicopter.

This is the first time Sheldon is seen driving with an actual driver's license. He obtained a learner's permit in The Euclid Alternative (2008) and drove Penny to the hospital for an emergency in The Adhesive Duck Deficiency (2009), but always claimed that he never got a real driver's license. That is, until The Space Probe Disintegration (2015) where he admitted to Leonard that he had obtained a permit after Amy gave him lessons, but kept this quiet (even from Amy) since he prefers to be driven around.

Goofs

None

Cast

Privacy Policy | Affiliate Link Disclosure | Contact Us