Big Bang Theory Quote
Howard: (Howard inserts the key in the front door of his house)
Mrs. Wolowitz: (from inside) WHO'S THERE? ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?
Howard: Sex criminals don't have KEYS, MA!
(Howard goes inside)
Mrs. Wolowitz: WHERE WERE YOU SO LATE?
Howard: I was out with Bernadette!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! I WATCH DR. PHIL! I HOPE YOU USED A CONDOM!
Howard: I'm not having this conversation with you, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: GOD FORBID YOU HAVE THOSE NEW FANCY SEX DISEASES!
Howard: (seriously?) NOBODY HAS A DISEASE!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I HOPE NOT! I SHARE A TOILET WITH YOU! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? TO GIVE YOUR MOTHER HERPES?
Howard: That's it! I don't have to take this!
(Howard storms off and slams the door)
Howard: GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR EYEBROWS IN THE MORNING!
(Howard leaves, but then turns back around and inserts the house key again)
Mrs. Wolowitz: WHO'S THERE? ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?
Howard: (Howard opens the door) I'm still leaving, I just forgot my CLARITIN!
Quote from S04E16 - The Cohabitation Formulation