S02E06 - The Cooper Nowitzki Theorem

No: 23  |  Season: 2   Episode: 6  |  Air Date: 2008-11-03  |  Runtime: mins

Ramona: I know a terrific little Italian place. Sheldon: I never eat in strange restaurants. One runs the risk of non-standard cutlery.

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Summary

Sheldon is flattered when a graduate student takes a shine to him, however her extreme devotion becomes too much to handle.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Stephen Engel & Daley Haggar / Teleplay by: Tim Doyle & Richard Rosenstock

Script

Script: S02E06 - The Cooper Nowitzki Theorem

Quotes

(Penny walks in on Sheldon having his nails done by Ramona)
Ramona: Dr. Cooper is working.
Sheldon: Yes, I'm close to a breakthrough. Oh, tickles!
Penny: (leaving the apartment) Holy crap on a cracker!
Leonard: (meeting Penny in hallway) Hey, Penny.
Penny: You probably don't want to go in there.
Leonard: Why? What are they doing?
Penny: The only way I could explain it would be in a therapist's office with dolls.

Leonard: Hey, aren't you having breakfast?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Are you experimenting with nutritional suppositories again?
Sheldon: Not in these pants.
Leonard: So... how'd it go with Ramona last night?
Sheldon: Oh, great. She's smart, insightful and she has a very unique way of, you know, revering me.

Sheldon: How can I ever repay you?
Ramona: Would you consider naming it the Cooper-Nowitzki theorem?
Sheldon: Who's Nowitzki?
Ramona: I'm Nowitzki.
Sheldon: Oh. You want me to share credit?
Ramona: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: GET OUT!

Ramona: You're not going to Halo night.
Sheldon: Yes, I am. It's Wednesday. Wednesday's Halo night.
Ramona: Didn't a great man once say science demands nothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of our entire lives?
Sheldon: He did.
Ramona: And who was that great man?
Sheldon: Me. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Seriously? You're not coming?
Sheldon: You heard her. How can I argue with me?

Raj: I love this time of the year. The leaves are turning... there's a bracing chill in the air...
Howard: Plus, there's a whole new crop of female grad students about to put on just enough winter weight to make them needy and vulnerable.

Penny: I know this is none of my business, but I just... I have to ask - what's Sheldon's deal?
Leonard: What do you mean, "deal"?
Penny: You know, like, what's his deal? Is it girls...? Guys...? Sock puppets...?
Leonard: Honestly, we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.
Penny: Come on, everybody has a deal.
Howard: Not Sheldon. Over the years, we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Howard: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species. Someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.
Penny: Okay, well, thanks for the nightmares.

(Sheldon has just accepted a graduate student's request for dinner in his place)
Sheldon: What a nice girl.
Howard: Sheldon, do you have any idea what just happened?
Sheldon: Yes, apparently I'm getting a free dinner.

Penny: Oh, hey, hi.
Ramona: (running down the stairs) Oh, bite me!
Penny: (extends pinky) Sisters?

(repeated line)
Penny: Holy crap on a cracker!

Ramona: Dr. Cooper, I have to tell you your friends are holding you back.
Sheldon: I prefer to think of it as I'm pulling them forward.
Ramona: Halo night? A man with your intellectual gift doesn't waste an evening playing video games
Sheldon: He does on Wednesdays.
Ramona: Not if he wants a Nobel prize.

Howard: (Howard introduces himself) Howard Wolowitz, Department of Engineering, co-designer of the International Space Station's liquid waste disposal system.
Ramona: Eww.

Sheldon: Hide me.
Penny: Hide you?
Sheldon: I formally request sanctuary.

Sheldon: The truth can indeed be a finger down the throat of those unprepared to hear it. But why should I cater to second-rate minds?
Leslie Winkle: Because first-rate minds call you dumbass?

Penny: (Ramona has just arrived for her date with Sheldon) I need to see this.
Leonard: The viewing area is right over there.
(Howard and Raj are watching from the couch)

Sheldon: Ramona finally dozed off, and I need you to help me get rid of her.
Penny: Get rid of her how?
Sheldon: I don't know, but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship, and you seem to be an expert at ending them.
Penny: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return.

Ramona: Oh, sorry I'm late. I just got so caught up reading the draft of your latest paper.
Sheldon: Did you enjoy the humorous footnote where I illustrate mirror-symmetry by likening it to the Flash playing tennis with himself?
Ramona: Oh, funny! But the idea that you might be able to incorporate gravity, I have to tell you, I found it physically exhilarating.
Sheldon: My hypotheses tend to have that effect.

Sheldon: (addressing a class of graduate students) I weep for the future of science. Now if you'll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out.

Ramona: I know what's going on here.
Penny: Really? Well, then will you explain it to me?
Ramona: You're in love with Dr. Cooper.
Penny: Uh, yeah, no, that's not it.
Ramona: Don't try to deny it. He's a remarkable man, but you have to let him go!
Penny: Oh, gee, okay.
Ramona: I know it's hard, but he's a gift to the whole world and we can't be selfish!
Penny: Yeah, he's a gift, alright.
Ramona: (smiles and offers pinky swear to Penny) Sisters?
Penny: Sure, sisters.
(accepts pinky swear and Ramona exits into Sheldon's apartment)
Penny: Holy crap on a cracker!

Raj: Isn't there a rule against dating grad students?
Leonard: No, you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
Raj: Damn, there's always a catch.

Leonard: (addressing a class of graduate students) So, if any of you are considering in going into experimental physics, my door is always open. Once again, I'm sorry that the demonstration didn't quite work out. But, now we know what happens when you accidentally spill Peach Snapple into a helium-neon laser. The short answer is... don't. And now, to tell you about the theoretical physics department is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
(students applaud)
Leonard: Dr. Cooper...
Sheldon: (In closet) Forget it.
Leonard: Excuse me.
(opening door to closet)
Leonard: Sheldon, we both agreed to do this.
Sheldon: It's a waste of time. I might as well explain the laws of thermodynamics to a bunch of labradoodles.
Leonard: If you don't do this, I won't take you to the comic book store.
Sheldon: (Coming out) Hello. Nice work with the laser, by the way.

Sheldon: I'm invoking the Skynet clause of our friendship agreement.
Leonard: That only applies if you need me to help you destroy an artificial intelligence you created that's taking over the Earth.

Kathy O'Brien: I just finished reading your paper reconciling the black hole information paradox with your theory of string network condensates and it just took my breath away.
Sheldon: Maybe when I publish it, I'll include an inhaler.

Sheldon: (to female grad student) Amazing! An intelligent labradoodle.
Howard: (to same grad student) Woof.

Sheldon: Alright, I'm invoking our Body Snatchers clause.
Leonard: The Body Snatchers clause requires me to help you destroy someone we know has been replaced by an alien pod.

Leonard: Sheldon lives in fear of the three-tined fork.
Sheldon: Three tines is not a fork. Three tines is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the seven seas.

Sheldon: Godzilla clause?
Leonard: Not unless she destroys Tokyo.
Sheldon: Rats!

Leslie Winkle: So, Sheldon, I see you're organizing your papers for the Smithsonian Museum of Dumb-Assery.
Ramona: There won't be any room until they get rid of the permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit.
Sheldon: Oh, good one.
Leslie Winkle: I see you got a grad student to fight your battles for you. I'll let you keep your lunch money today.

Notes and Trivia

According to Sheldon's schedule, Mondays he eats Thai food consisting of Mee krob and chicken satay with extra peanut sauce from Siam Palace; Tuesdays are new comic book night at the Comic Book store; Wednesdays he plays "Halo" and/or watches Battlestar Galactica (2004); Thursdays he has pizza from Giacomo's. Sausage, mushrooms, light olives; Friday is "Vintage game night" (mentioned earlier in The Codpiece Topology (2008)). On weekends he plays paintball.

During the montage, the song "You Can Be My Yoko Ono" by Barenaked Ladies, who also sing the show's theme song, is played. Romona is being compared to Yoko Ono who was John Lennon's wife and is often blamed for the break-up of The Beatles.

First mention of the friendship/roommate agreement between Sheldon (Jim Parsons) and Leonard (Johnny Galecki).

Riki Lindhome (Ramona) originally auditioned for the role of Penny.

Riki Lindhome (Ramona), is half of the comedy singing duo known as Garfunkel & Oates, along with Kate Micucci. Both girls have appeared, separately, as characters on "The Big Bang Theory". Lindhome appeared in three episodes as Sheldon's grad school assistant and admirer, Ramona Nowitzki. Her crush on Sheldon eventually leads to him proposing to Amy Farrah-Fowler. Micucci appeared in eight episodes as Raj's painfully shy girlfriend, Lucy.

Sheldon doesn't eat at unknown restaurants, for fear that they would try to pass off a "trident" (three tines) as a fork (four tines). He mentions that "tridents are for ruling the Seven Seas", because in ancient mythology, Poseidon/Neptune, the Greek/Roman God of the Sea, controlled the waters and grounds with his trident.

The comic book which Ramona catches Sheldon reading inside his textbook is Batman #680, cover-dated October 2008.

The title refers to the suggestion by Sheldon's groupie Ramona Nowitzki for the theorem that she had been helping him with so that they would be sharing credit. This is also the first episode in which the title is mentioned within the dialogue, a rarity for the show.

Goofs

None

Cast

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