S02E07 - The Panty Pinata Polarization

No: 24  |  Season: 2   Episode: 7  |  Air Date: 2008-11-10  |  Runtime: mins

Go ahead, eat it. I dare you.

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Summary

Penny plans revenge when Sheldon bans her from his and Leonard's apartment, while Howard and Raj use the latest technology to try to find the house being used in "America's Next Top Model."

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Bill Prady & Tim Doyle / Teleplay by: Jennifer Glickman & Steven Molaro

Script

Script: S02E07 - The Panty Pinata Polarization

Quotes

Sheldon: Penny, I wish I could be more lenient with you, but since you've become a member of our social group I have to hold you to the same high standards as everybody else.
Leonard: Congratulations, you're officially one of us.
Howard: (chanting) One of us! One of us!

Howard: Oh, look, there's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait, that's the future Mrs. Wolowitz, with her head in the lap of - eh, what a coincidence - the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.

Sheldon: (in a computer message) Hello, puny insects. As a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, Everyone is awarded one additional strike.
Leonard: Thanks a lot, Howard.
Howard: What are you complaining about? I'm the one who has to take the class again.

Penny: (Knock-knock-knock) Sheldon!
(Knock-knock-knock)
Penny: Sheldon!
(Knock-knock-knock)
Penny: Sheldon!

Penny: (after Leonard gives her Sheldon's "kryptonite", which makes even her uneasy) Look, I said I wanted to hurt him, but... this?
Leonard: It'll shorten the war by five years and save millions of lives.

Penny: (taking the guys' orders at Cheesecake Factory) Okay, let me guess: Quesadilla with soy cheese for the lactose-intolerant Leonard...
Leonard: Thank you.
Penny: ...shrimp Caesar salad with no almonds for the highly-allergic, kosher-only-on-the-high-holidays Howard...
(Howard nods)
Penny: ... and for our suddenly-back-on-the-Hindu-wagon Raj meat lovers' pizza; no meat.
(Raj bows to her)
Penny: Coming right up.
(She starts to leave)
Sheldon: Wait, excuse me!
(Penny stops)
Sheldon: You forgot my barbecue bacon cheeseburger; barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side.
Penny: Oh, I didn't tell you? You're banished from the Cheesecake Factory.
Sheldon: Why?
Penny: Well, you have three strikes. One, coming in; two, sitting down; and three, I don't like your attitude.
Sheldon: You can't do that. Not only is it a violation of California State law, it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy.
Penny: Yeah, I know; there's a new policy: no shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon.
Howard: (softly, to Raj) I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena.

Howard: Every week they kick out a beautiful girl, making her feel unwanted and without self-esteem... a.k.a, the future Mrs. Howard Wolowitz.

Leonard: (referring to the strikes Sheldon gave her) Don't worry, they only stay on your record for a year.
Howard: You can get them removed early, but you have to take his class.

Leonard: Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a supervillain.
Penny: I don't care. I was in Junior Rodeo. I can hogtie and castrate him in sixty seconds.
Howard: No need to neuter the nerd, I can get you back online.

Penny: Oh, no, are all the machines taken? What are you gonna do?
Sheldon: No problem, I'll just do my laundry another night.
Penny: Another night? Well, I guess you can try, but deep inside your heart, you'll know that laundry night is always Saturday night.

Howard: Sadly, Mrs. Giselle Wolowitz is sensitive to chlorine.

Penny: What was my first strike?
Sheldon: March 18th. You violated my rule about forwarding e-mail humor.
Penny: I did?
Sheldon: The photo of a cat who wants to "haz cheezburger"?
Penny: Oh, come on, everyone loves LOLcats. They're cute, and they can't spell, 'cause they're cats.

Penny: I'm banished? What the hell kind of crap is that?

Penny: Leonard, remember when I said it was on? Well now it's Junior Rodeo on.
Leonard: (softly, in a worried tone) Ohhh, not Junior Rodeo.

(Penny has innocently taken an onion ring from Sheldon's plate of food)
Penny: I didn't know. I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Well, I'm sorry, but that is your second strike.
Penny: What?
Sheldon: You have two strikes. Three strikes, and you're out.
(Penny looks at him blankly)
Sheldon: It's a sports metaphor.
Penny: A sports metaphor?
Sheldon: Yes, baseball.

Leonard: (about the Next Top Model house) Are you insane? You're not going to party with them. You're not even going to get anywhere near that place.
Howard: That's what they said to Neil Armstrong abut the moon.
Sheldon: No one said anything of the kind to Neil Armstrong. The entire nation dedicated a decade of effort and treasure to put a man on the moon.
Howard: Well, my fellow Americans, before this year is out, we will put a Wolowitz on one of America's top models.
Raj: And a large number of people will believe it never happened.

Penny: (Referring to her underwear) How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?
Sheldon: When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, "Mwah, ha, ha."
Penny: Get them down.
Sheldon: Apologize.
Penny: Never!
Sheldon: Well, then, may I suggest you get a very long stick and play panty pinata.

Leonard: (just walking in on Sheldon and Penny) Hey, you guys are talking again, good!
(Penny and Sheldon give him an annoyed look)
Leonard: What happened?

Leonard: For the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Howard: You know what? If it's "creepy" to use the internet, military satellites and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.

Penny: And thanks to Sheldon's heated discussion with my manager, one barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue sauce, bacon, and cheese on the side.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Penny: Go ahead, eat it. I dare you.

Sheldon: Excuse me, Penny, but we're...
Leonard: No, don't tell her!
Sheldon: ...playing Klingon Boggle.
Leonard: Awww...
Howard: What do you mean "aww," like she didn't know we were nerds?

Penny: Hey guys, what'd I miss? What'd I miss?
Howard: Giselle's hangin' by a thread.
Penny: Oh good. I hate her.
Howard: Then you're not invited to our wedding.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well, your "ken" can kiss my Barbie.

Sheldon: Greetings hamburger toucher. You are probably wondering why you cannot IM with your little friends about how much you heart various things. Well, this recorded message is alerting you that I am putting an end to your parasitic piggy-backing upon our WiFi.

Sheldon: You're sitting in my spot.
Penny: Oh, gee... you gotta be kidding me.
Sheldon: Leonard, she's in my spot.
Leonard: Yeah, yeah. Uh... see, here's the thing: after you leave, I still have to live with him.
Penny: I don't care. I'm taking a stand. Metaphorically.
Sheldon: All right, that's it. Strike three.
Penny: Oooh! Strike three!

Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Yes?
Sheldon: Well played.
Penny: Thank you.
Sheldon: Just remember: with great power comes great responsibility.
Penny: Understood.

Howard: (about a model) She's taller than all of the women in my family combined.
Raj: What do we do now?
Howard: (another model walks by) Follow Mrs. Wolowitz.

Howard: You're telling me that I'm within driving distance of a house filled with aspiring supermodels?
Penny: Yeah, I guess.
Howard: And they live together, and shower together, and have naked pillow fights.
(Penny starts to leave)
Leonard: Hey, where are you going?
Penny: To pay my cable bill.

Penny: (to Sheldon) Oh, honey, the buses don't go where you live, do they?

Notes and Trivia

The two models who open the door for Raj (Kunal Nayyar) and Howard (Simon Helberg) are Lio Tipton and Samantha Potter, who were actual contestants on America's Next Top Model (2003). In their cycle, they placed third and second, respectively.

When Howard (Simon Helberg) sarcastically chants "One of us, one of us" after Leonard says "You're officially one of us!", this is an homage to the 1932 film Freaks (1932) where deformed humans are joyfully chanting for the female protagonist Cleopatra (to whom Penny is being compared) "Gooble gobble! We accept her! One of us! One of us!"

When Leonard (Johnny Galecki) gives Penny (Kaley Cuoco) the number for Sheldon (Jim Parsons)'s mother, he paraphrases Harry S. Truman's secretary of war, Henry L. Stimson, who justified the use of the Atomic Bomb by stating that it will shorten the war by five years and save millions of lives.

Goofs

None

Cast

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