S02E14 - The Financial Permeability

No: 31 | Season: 2 Episode: 14 | Air Date: 2009-02-02 | Runtime: mins

Penny: I don't want things to be weird between us. Sheldon: Won't it also be 'weird' if I have to say hello to you every morning on my way to work and you're living in a refrigerator box and washing your hair with rainwater?

Summary

Leonard and Sheldon try to help out Penny when she can't afford to pay her rent.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Steven Molaro / Teleplay by: Richard Rosenstock & Eric Kaplan

Script

Script: S02E14 - The Financial Permeability

Quotes

Leonard: Hey, Penny. How's work.
Penny: (sarcastically) Great! I hope I'm a waitress at the Cheescake Factory for my whole life!
Sheldon: Was that sarcasm?
Penny: (still sarcastically) No.
Sheldon: Was *that* sarcasm?
Penny: (honestly) Yes.
Sheldon: Was that sarcasm?
Leonard: Stop it!

Penny: Okay. Well, thank you. Oh, God, no, I can't. Sheldon honey, I don't want things to be weird between us.
Sheldon: Won't it also be weird if I have to say hello to you every morning on my way to work and you're living in a refrigerator box and washing your hair with rain water?
Penny: I'll pay you back as soon as I can.
Sheldon: Of course you will. It's impossible to pay me back sooner than you can. Assuming you subscribe to a linear understanding of time and causality.
Penny: I'm regretting this already.

Penny: Wow, you got a lot of money in there.
Sheldon: That's why it's guarded by snakes.

Sheldon: I don't see any large upcoming expenditures unless they develop an affordable technology to fuse my skeleton with adamantium like Wolverine.
Penny: Are they working on that?
Sheldon: I sincerely hope so.

Leonard: I don't need backup. I have right on my side. And I'm wearing cargo shorts under my pants.

Sheldon: In case either of you have larceny in your heart, you should know that I have moved my money out of the snake can.
Leonard: But if you're ever short, there's always a couple of fifties in Green Lantern's ass.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, I don't understand what social situation this is. Could you give me some guidance in how to proceed.

Sheldon: Take some.
Penny: Don't be silly.
Sheldon: I'm never silly.

Leonard: Okay, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes. Koothrappali's gonna wet himself, I will throw up, Sheldon's going to run away, and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?

Howard: Okay, I guess we only have one option.
Raj: Yepp, I don't see any way around it.
Leonard: Bye, Sheldon.
Howard: See ya.
Raj: Later, dude.
(All exit, leaving Sheldon alone)
Sheldon: They're right. It was the only option.

Penny: Is Leonard around?
Sheldon: He went to the movies without me. It was the only option. I'm sorry, I don't understand which social situation this is. Could you give me some guidance as to how to proceed?
Penny: The building manager's showing an apartment downstairs, and I haven't paid my rent.
Sheldon: Oh, I see. Penny, I'm not sure I'm comfortable harbouring a fugitive from the 2311 North Los Robles Corporation.
Penny: It's no big deal. I'm just a little behind on my bills because they cut back my hours at the restaurant and my car broke down.

Sheldon: I was wrong. Minstrels will write songs about *you*.
Leonard: (sarcastically) Great.
Sheldon: (singing) There once was a brave lad named Leonard. With a fi-fi-fiddle-dee-dee. He faced a fearsome giant. While Raj just wanted to pee.

Sheldon: The true hero doesn't seek adulation. He fights for right and justice simply because it's his nature.

Leonard: You clearly did something to aggrevate her!
Sheldon: I'm at a loss. If you like, you can review my daily log of social interactions. And see if there's a blunder I overlooked.

Sheldon: If you recall, I pointed out the check engine light to you several months ago.
Penny: The check engine light is fine, it's still blinking away. It's the stupid engine that stopped working.

Penny: He got arrested for taking a whiz on a cop car.
Leonard: What?
Penny: He was drunk.
Leonard: I would hope so.

Leonard: Why don't you just get a roommate and stay here?
Penny: Well, do you know anybody?
Leonard: I'm sure the guy living with Sheldon wouldn't mind moving in with you.
Penny: Oh Leonard, honey, if we started living together, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: And you thought my acting lessons were a waste of money.

Leonard: (Looking for places for Penny to save expenses) A hundred and seventy dollars for acting classes?
Penny: Oh no, I can't give up my acting classes, I'm a professional actress.
Leonard: Oh, you've had an acting job where you got paid?
Penny: That is not the definition of professional.
Leonard: Actually, it kind of... lets keep looking.

Sheldon: All right, these theaters have to be eliminated.
Leonard: Why, they're state of the art. Digital projection, 20 channel surround sound...
Sheldon: Yes, but they have no Icee machines. Despite my agressive letter writing campaign I might add.

Sheldon: I've been giving the matter some thought, and I think I'd be willing to be a house pet to a race of superintelligent aliens.
Leonard: Interesting.
Sheldon: Ask me why?
Leonard: Do I have to?
Sheldon: Of course, that's how you move a conversation forward.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: The learning opportunities would be abundant, additionally, I like having my belly scratched.

Leonard: You play a game to simulate adventure, but when there's real adventure out there in the real world, you just wimp out!
Sheldon: Leonard, do you not recall the last time we visited this gentleman, we returned home without pants.
Leonard: I do.
Sheldon: Are you sure? Because your proposal suggests that you don't.

Leonard: Hey, you guys want to go on a real live quest?
Sheldon: Outside? But I just made cocoa.

Sheldon: In what *Universe* are slurpees Icees?

Notes and Trivia

None

Goofs