S03E08 - The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

No: 48  |  Season: 3   Episode: 8  |  Air Date: 2009-11-16  |  Runtime: mins

Penny: Could you please drive a little faster? Sheldon: Oh, I think we're going sufficiently fast.

Previous Next

Summary

Penny is forced to turn to Sheldon for help when she dislocates her shoulder in the bathtub. Meanwhile, the rest of the guys accidentally get stoned in the desert while waiting for a meteor shower.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady & Dave Goetsch / Teleplay by: Steven Molaro & Eric Kaplan & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S03E08 - The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Quotes

Penny: I slipped in the shower and I think I dislocated my shoulder.
Sheldon: Not surprising. You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers to allow for purchase on a surface with a low coefficient of static friction.
Penny: What?
Sheldon: Tubs are slippery.

(Sheldon is helping Penny get dressed without looking)
Penny: Now, you gotta help me get my arm into the sleeve.
Sheldon: Okay.
Penny: Is that my arm?
Sheldon: It doesn't feel like an arm.
Penny: Then maybe you should let it go.
Sheldon: (pause) All righty.

Sheldon: Now, where is the switch to adjust the passenger-side mirror?
Penny: It's right there.
Sheldon: Where is the passenger-side mirror?
Penny: In a parking lot in Hollywood.

Sheldon: We have to fill these out. "Describe illness or injury."
Penny: I dislocated my shoulder.
Sheldon: All right. And how did the accident occur?
Penny: You already know that.
Sheldon: Cause of accident: Lack of adhesive ducks. Okay, medical history. Have you ever been diagnosed with diabetes?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Kidney disease?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Migraines?
Penny: Getting one.
Sheldon: Are you currently pregnant?
Penny: No!
Sheldon: Are you sure? You look a bit puffy.
Penny: Change migraine to "yes."
Sheldon: When was your last menstrual period?
Penny: (in a disgusted tone) Oh, next question.
Sheldon: I'll put "in progress." Okay, turning to psychiatric disorders, list all major behavioral diagnoses, e.g. depression, anxiety etc.
Penny: Oh my God! What the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder?
Sheldon: Episodes of sub-psychotic rage.
Penny: Ass!
Sheldon: Possible Tourette's. All right, "moles, lesions, or other skin conditions." Soup tattoo on right buttock.

Raj: And the next morning, when he woke up, he rolled over and realized... don, don, don... she was his cousin.
(Leonard and Raj laugh hysterically)
Howard: That's still not funny.
Raj: (mimicking Howard) That's still not funny.
(they laugh even harder)
Howard: And she was my *second* cousin.
Raj: And she was my *second* cousin.
(more laughing)
Howard: You're a real douche.
Raj: Who cares! You slept with your *cousin*!
(Leonard and Raj laugh hysterically again)

Howard: How much time do we have?
Leonard: Uh, T minus five hours thirty-seven minutes to onset of meteor shower.
Raj: Okay, our position is thirty-four point forty-eight degrees north, a hundred and eighteen point thirty-one west; that means the azimuth should be a hundred and sixty-eight point twenty-two degrees relative to magnetic north with an elevation of forty-nine point nighty-three.
Howard: Anything yet?
Leonard: Uh, we have a signal but there's no frame lock.
Howard: Hang on. How 'bout... now?
Raj: We did it. We have the west coast feed of HBO.
Howard: Mmm, Real Sex.
Raj: Big deal. Every time I watch that show it's old women putting condoms on cucumbers.

Penny: Sheldon, look, I am scared and in a lot of pain. Could you please take a break from being you for just a minute and try being... I don't know... comforting?

Sheldon: (over the phone) And good evening to you, Siam Palace. This is Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I'm going to be dining alone this evening, so I'll be reducing my usual order. I'd like to start with one quarter of the assorted appetizers plate, and one half of the Golden Treasure for two...
Sheldon: (pauses and listens for a second) Oh for heaven's sake. In the mid 18th century, King Rama the Fourth of Siam divided a huge empire amongst the colonial powers of Europe in order to preserve his throne. Surely you, his cultural descendant, can handle Pad Thai and dumplings!

Leonard: I wish Penny didn't have to work; she loves camping.
Raj: Yeah, that would've been great: you and Penny having sex in the tent while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus.

Howard: Too bad Sheldon couldn't come with us.
Raj: Yeah, it's just not the same without him.
(Leonard, Rajesh and Howard break up laughing)

Howard: Okay, the best I can tell, there are eight other campsites nearby. Mostly science nerds like us, but just over yon ridge are two not unattractive middle-school teachers who reek of desperation.
Raj: Wonderful. How old are they?
Howard: I don't know, 50, 55?
Raj: Oh, menopause. Heh. Nature's birth control.
Leonard: Come on. You guys can't be that hard up.

Raj: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed and I would be their king.
Leonard: I hate my name. It has "nerd" in it. Len-nerd.
Howard: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeannie.
Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects... at first.
Leonard: You know what's a cool name? Angelo. That has "angel" and "jello" in it.
Howard: It was my uncle Murray's funeral. We were all back at my aunt Barbara's house. Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. We never meant for it to happen!
Raj: One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits they hate me and don't come. I'm embarrassed so I eat all the lettuce in the world and make them watch.
Leonard: People could call me Angie. Yo, Angie! How's it goin'?
Howard: To this day, I can't look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed.
(sighs)
Howard: Cousin Jeannie.

Leonard: I can feel it. I can feel the Earth moving! It's moving too fast! Raj! Slow it down!
(Raj strains)
Raj: Okay, how's that?
Leonard: Better. Thanks.

Sheldon: While we have a moment, may I ask you a question?
Penny: What?
Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for soup tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not 'soup', it's 'courage'.
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Penny: Sing Soft Kitty to me.
Sheldon: Soft Kitty is for when you're sick. You're not sick.
Penny: Injured and drugged is a kind of sick.

Penny: Warp speed, Mr. Spock.
Sheldon: Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. He was a science officer. And I guarantee you that if he ever saw the Enterprise's check engine light blinking, he would pull the ship over immediately.

Sheldon: Mother always told me one should wear clean underpants in case one is in an accident.

Notes and Trivia

In this episode, Kunal Nayyar displayed his ear for accents when he accurately imitated costars Johnny Galecki's and Simon Helberg's American accents.

Penny is revealed to have a Chinese character tattoo on her right buttock. Kaley Cuoco, who plays Penny, has an actual Chinese character tattoo on her lower back, as seen in the episode, The Middle Earth Paradigm (2007).

Sheldon's middle name is Lee.

The coordinates Raj gives for the observation site (34.48 N, 118.31 W) refer to the Vasquez Rocks Park, the location of several Star Trek episodes including the one where Captain James T. Kirk rolls a rock onto the reptilian Gorn. A Gorn later make appearances in two of Sheldon's dreams (once in The Apology Insufficiency (2010) in Season 4, and again in The Transporter Malfunction (2012) in Season 5). Also the gang makes one more visit to Vasquez Rocks Park in Season 6's The Bakersfield Expedition (2013) where Leonard gets his car stolen while the gang were taking pictures acting out scenes from Star Trek.

This episode marks the first time Soft Kitty had been sung to anyone other than Sheldon.

This episode mirrors The Vegas Renormalization (2009), with Leonard, Raj and Howard being away while Sheldon and Penny stay at home. The reversal is that this time, Penny is the one who is "kind of sick", and Sheldon having to sing "Soft Kitty" to her (and Penny makes him start over several times).

Goofs

None

Cast

Privacy Policy | Affiliate Link Disclosure | Contact Us