S03E10 - The Gorilla Experiment

No: 50  |  Season: 3   Episode: 10  |  Air Date: 2009-12-07  |  Runtime: mins

Penny: Great! A little insulting, but great. I'll be Koko. Sheldon: Not likely. Koko learned to understand over two thousand words, not one of which had anything to do with shoes.

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Summary

Sheldon attempts to help Penny understand physics to impress Leonard, while Howard becomes jealous when Bernadette takes an interest in Leonard's research.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Richard Rosenstock & Steve Holland / Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Steven Molaro & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S03E10 - The Gorilla Experiment

Quotes

Howard: It's not enough you get the prom queen, you have to get the head of the decorating committee too?

Penny: Hey, Leonard. Check this out.
(Throws a dumpling up in the air and catches it with her mouth)
Sheldon: Leonard, she's doing it again.
Leonard: I think it upsets Sheldon when you play with the food.
Sheldon: No, it upsets Sheldon when she willy-nilly takes it from the containers without regard for its equitable distribution.
(Turns to Raj)
Sheldon: This is essentially why you have famine in India.
(Raj shakes his head no at Penny)
Penny: (Mouth open so the dumpling is visible) You want me to put it back?
Sheldon: Leonard...
Leonard: It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon.

Sheldon: Oh, sure. And while we're at it, why don't we put our hands behind our backs, have an old-fashioned eating contest?

Penny: Hey Sheldon, can I talk to you for a second?
Sheldon: It's not about shoes, is it? I don't think I can go through that again.

Sheldon: (voiceover as he works at his laptop) Research Journal. Entry 1. I'm about to embark on one of the great challenges of my scientific career. Teaching Penny physics. I'm calling it: 'Project Gorilla'.

Howard: Thought I'd give the little woman a tour of the old salt mines.
Bernadette: (to Leonard) He doesn't mean salt mine. He means where he works.
Leonard: Yah. I know. I got it.

Sheldon: (after Raj beats him on Mario Kart) That's not fair! I got stuck behind a tree.
Raj: And a cow, and a penguin. Face it dude. Whether it's a real car or a virtual cartoon car, you can't drive.

Sheldon: Why are you crying ?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and that makes me sad.

Penny: (Sheldon is giving her a long-winded history lesson on physics) I have to go to the bathroom.
Sheldon: Can't you hold it?
Penny: Not for 2600 years.

Howard: Utero-Americans?

Sheldon: (trying to teach Penny physics) How can you not know? I just told you. Did you suffer a recent blow to the head?
Penny: Hey, you don't have to be mean.
Sheldon: I'm sorry.
(trying to sound more cheerful)
Sheldon: Did you suffer a recent blow to the head?

Bernadette: I love your shoes.
Penny: Oh, thanks. They are cute, aren't they?
Bernadette: Where'd you get them?
Penny: Shoes for Less.
Bernadette: I've been meaning to go over there.
Penny: Oh, great selection, great prices.
Sheldon: My mother was right. Hell is real.
Howard: Come on, Sheldon, let the women-folk chat.
Penny: Women-folk?
Howard: Gals? Chicks? Utero-Americans?..

Sheldon: All right, let us begin. Where's your notebook?
Penny: Um... I don't have one.
Sheldon: How are you going to take notes without a notebook?
Penny: I have to take notes?
Sheldon: How else are you going to study for the tests?
Penny: There's gonna be a test?
Sheldon: (stressing the plural) Tests.
(Sheldon gets a notebook from his desk and hands it to her)
Sheldon: Here. It's college ruled; I hope that's not too intimidating.

Sheldon: (Sheldon is trying to teach Penny about physics, but she's having a rough go of it) Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and it makes me sad.

Howard: I want you to meet my girlfriend Bernadette.

Sheldon: Leonard's work is nearly as amazing as third graders growing lima beans in wet paper towels.

Sheldon: Subject appears well rested and enthusiastic. Apparently, ignorance *is* bliss.

Penny: Oh, come on, a smart guy like you; it'll be a challenge. You could make it like an experiment.
Sheldon: Interesting. I suppose if someone could teach sign language to Koko the gorilla... I could teach you some rudimentary physics.
Penny: Great! A little insulting, but great. I'll be Koko.
Sheldon: Not likely. Koko learned to understand over two thousand words, not one of which had anything to do with shoes.

Penny: Look, can we just please forget about all this extra stuff, and can you just tell me what Leonard does?
Sheldon: All right. Leonard is attempting to learn why sub-atomic particles move the way they do.
Penny: Really? That's it? Well, that doesn't sound so complicated.
Sheldon: It's not. That's why Leonard does it.

Penny: Oh, yeah, you can't sit there.
Bernadette: Why not?
Leonard: That's where Sheldon sits.
Bernadette: He can't sit somewhere else?
Penny: Oh no, you see in the winter, that seat is close enough the the radiator so he's warm yet not so close that he sweats. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that isn't direct so he can still talk to everybody yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.
Sheldon: Perhaps there's hope for you after all.

Bernadette: (forgiving Wolowitz after an argument) Come here, Tushy Face.
Leonard: (as they kiss, he snickers and pulls out his phone) "Tushy Face". That is going on Twitter right now.

Bernadette: I don't have Howard's street cred.

Bernadette: Don't take him too seriously. A lot of what he says is intended as humor.
Penny: Yeah, well, I don't think it's very funny.
Bernadette: Me, neither. But, he just lights up when I laugh.
Penny: Howard, never let her go.

Leonard: Relax, it'll be fine. Sit down, you guys.
Leonard, Penny, Raj: (as Bernadette goes for Sheldon's spot) No!
Bernadette: What?
Penny: Oh, yeah. You can't sit there.
Bernadette: Why not?
Leonard: That's where Sheldon sits.
Bernadette: He can't sit somewhere else?
(from across the room Sheldon turns, stares and raises an eyebrow a freakishly long way)
Penny: Oh, no, no. You see, in the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator so that he's warm yet not so close that he sweats. In the summer, it's directly in the path of the cross breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television on an angle that isn't direct so he can still talk to everybody, yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.
Sheldon: Perhaps there's hope for you after all.

Penny: I was wondering if you could maybe teach me a little physics.
Sheldon: A little physics?.. There's no such thing. Physics encompasses the entire universe. From quantum particles to supernovas. From spinning electrons to spinning galaxies.
Penny: Okay, cool, I don't need the PBS special. I wanna know enough so I can talk to Leonard about his job. Like Bernadette does.
Sheldon: Why can't Leonard teach you?
Penny: Because I wanna surprise him.
Sheldon: Can't you surprise him in some other way? For example, I'm sure he'd be delightfully taken aback if you clean your apartment.

Sheldon: My mother was right. Hell is real.

Sheldon: This is the beginning of the twenty-six hundred year journey we're going to take together from the ancient Greeks, through Isaac Newton, to Niels Bohr, to Erwin Schr?dinger, to the Dutch researchers that Leonard is currently ripping off.

Leonard: Most people aren't that interested in what I do.
Penny: Ahem. Actually, that's not true, Leonard. In fact, recently I've been thinking that given the parameters of your experiment the transport of electrons through the aperture of the nano-fabricated metal rings is qualitatively no different than the experiment already conducted in the Netherlands.
(Leonard is astounded)
Penny: Their observed phase shift in the diffusing electrons inside the metal ring already conclusively demonstrated the electric analog of the Aharonov-Bohm quantum interference effect.
(Everyone is dumbfounded)
Penny: That's it; that's all I know. Oh, wait! Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts, not the scientist.

Sheldon: Leonard's work is nearly as amazing as third graders growing Lima beans in wet paper towels.
(Raj whispers in Sheldon's ear)
Sheldon: While I appreciate the "Oh, snap!", I'm uncomfortable having your moist breath in my ear.

Sheldon: Howard, your shoes are delightful. Where did you get them?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Bazinga, I don't care.

Sheldon: And what do we know from this?
Penny: Um. We know that... Newton was a really smart cookie. Oh, is that where Fig Newtons come from?
Sheldon: No, Fig Newtons are named after a small town in Massachusetts. Don't write that down!

Sheldon: Why can't Leonard teach you?
Penny: 'Cause I want to surprise him.
Sheldon: Can't you surprise him in some other way? For example, I'm sure he'd be delightfully taken aback if you cleaned your apartment.

Leonard: Are you interested in physics?
Bernadette: I find it fascinating. If I hadn't gone into microbiology, I probably would have gone into physics... or ice dancing.

Penny: You see in the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator so that he's warm, yet not so close that he sweats. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that isn't direct, so he can still talk to everybody, yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.

Penny: A lot of the girls threw up, but I gutted that thing like a deer.

Sheldon: What no, that's a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.

Notes and Trivia

The technical consultant, David Saltzberg, appears. He was the first person on the left that Howard passed when he entered the dining room introducing Bernadette as his girlfriend to everyone. (Look for the guy in the brown sweater vest at the first table).

This marks the first time Bernadette is in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Howard introduces her as his girlfriend.

Goofs

None

Cast

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