S05E08 - The Isolation Permutation

No: 95  |  Season: 5   Episode: 8  |  Air Date: 2011-11-03  |  Runtime: mins

Amy (singing): Everybody hurts, sometimes everybody cries. Everybody hurts, sometimes.

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Summary

Amy is hurt when Penny and Bernadette go bridesmaid dress shopping without her, so she turns to a reluctant Sheldon for comfort.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Eric Kaplan & Tara Hernandez / Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Steven Molaro & Steve Holland

Script

Script: S05E08 - The Isolation Permutation

Quotes

Amy: Hey, Cuddles!
Leonard: Cuddles?
Sheldon: Yes, Cuddles. We cuddled. Grow up, Leonard.

Bernadette: Amy, we're really sorry.
Penny: Yeah, we feel awful.
Amy: Don't. I'll be okay. You're not the first girls I thought were friends with me who ended up shunning me. It's like elementary school, junior high, high school, undergrad, grad school and that semester abroad in Norway all over again.

(Talking to Amy)
Sheldon: Would you like to talk about it? And keep in mind that no is a perfectly viable answer.

Sheldon: New topic: Women. Delightfully mysterious, or batcrap crazy?

(Amy is filming them trying on the dresses)
Amy: C'mon, Bestie, you're up.
Penny: Gimme a minute.
Amy: What is taking you so long.
(Amy opens dressing room door)
Penny: Oh! Amy, get the hell out of here.
Amy: Sorry. Sorry.
Penny: Oh God.
(Amy swings the camera back on Penny again)
Penny: Amy!
Amy: Sorry.

Amy: Proposal: one wild night of torrid lovemaking that soothes my soul and inflames my loins.
Sheldon: Counter-proposal: I will gently stroke your head and repeat "Aww, who's a good Amy?"
Amy: How about this? French kissing. Seven minutes in heaven, culminating in second base.
Sheldon: Neck massage, then you get me that beverage.
Amy: We cuddle. Final offer.
Sheldon: Very well.

Sheldon: I can't seem to get in touch with Amy! I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall, texting her... Nothing!
Leonard: D'you try calling her on the telephone?
Sheldon: The telephone...!
(pauses)
Sheldon: Y'know... Leonard, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all.

Sheldon: (outraged) The two of you need to get your women in line!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Last night, I was strong armed into an evening of harp music and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler, this on a night that I had originally designated for solving the space time geometry in higher spin gravity and building my Lego Death Star. And why? Your gal pals Penny and Bernadette went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy, an action they took with no thought or regard as to how it would affect me, the future of string theory, or my Lego fun time!
Howard: What do you want us to do about it?
Sheldon: You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence: Get your women in line! You make them apologize to Amy and set things right! I am a man of science, not someone's snuggle bunny!
Leonard: Why do I have to talk to Penny? She's not my girlfriend.
Sheldon: You invited her to lunch four years ago. Everything about her is on you, you make it so!

Sheldon: Ladies, please. These four walls once housed an intellectual salon where the mind received nourishment as well as the stomach. But through no one's fault... Penny... the quality of dinner conversation in this apartment has declined. And again, I'm looking at no one in particular... Penny.

Amy: What do you want? Do you want me to give the friendship bracelet back?
Penny: I never gave you a friendship bracelet.
Amy: When we first met, I made one and pretended you gave it to me; you can have it back if you want.
Penny: No, you made that for you. I want you to have it.

Sheldon: (hearing Amy singing) She sounds weepy. I don't like weepy.
Leonard: Hey, wait. Amy is your friend. Step up.
(knock knock knock)
Leonard: Amy.
(knock knock knock)
Leonard: Amy.
(knock knock knock)
Leonard: Amy. See you.
Sheldon: (Leonard turns to leave) Wait, where are you going?
Leonard: I'm single; I don't need this crap.

Amy: Wait for moi.
Sheldon: You're leaving?
Amy: Sheldon, sometimes you forget. I'm a lady, and with that comes an estrogen-fueled need to page through thick, glossy magazines that make me hate my body.

Amy: Sheldon! What would it take for you to go into that liquor store, buy a bottle of hooch, take me across the street to that motel and have your way with me?
Leonard: Yeah, Sheldon, what would it take?
Sheldon: I'm begging both of you, please, let's go!

Leonard: (listening to Sheldon ramble) Amy, how long would it take that mad cow disease to kill me?
Amy: Four or five years.
Leonard: (considering it) Nope, not gonna do it.

Leonard: Fine. What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?
Howard: "What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?" Why do you hate us?

Amy: Look at this brain.
Penny: (Turning away) I don't really want to.
Amy: This is us. Bernadette, you are the analytical, scientific left hemisphere. Penny, you're the creative, spontaneous right hemisphere. And where's Amy? She's right here. The sad little tumor no-one wants to go dress shopping with.
Bernadette: Amy, you're not a tumor. Penny, tell her she's not a tumor, huh.
(Penny vomits into a waste basket)

Penny: Bernadette, how goes the hunt for bridesmaid dresses?
Bernadette: Well, if you don't mind looking like an orange traffic cone, great.
Amy: (entering) Girlfriends, I have the answer to our dress problems.
Bernadette: Really?
Amy: Twelve years ago, my cousin, Irene, and her entire family died in a horrific carbon monoxide accident the night before her wedding.
Bernadette: That's horrible!
Amy: Yes and no. All those bridesmaids dresses remain unused and available to us for free. So it seems that cloud of odorless deadly gas had a silver lining after all. Check it out; still in the bags - the gowns, not the bridesmaids.
Bernadette: I don't know; dead people's dresses?
Penny: Yeah, and cap sleeves? Uh-unn...

Amy: (Dissecting a brain) Yay, brain tumor! Probably not the same reaction you had when you got the news.

Amy: (as she and Sheldon cuddle) I'm just saying, second base is right there.

Sheldon: It would seem Amy is drunk in a liquor store parking lot.
Leonard: Really? Amy?
Sheldon: Leonard, be glad you can't keep a woman; they are a handful.

Amy: Wait, Sheldon, what would it take for you to go into that liquor store, buy a bottle of hooch, and take me across the steet to that motel and have your way with me?
Leonard: Yeah Sheldon, what would it take?
Sheldon: I'm begging both of you, let's go.

Sheldon: (Phone rings) Did you know that when Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he proposed answering it with "Ahoy?"
(Answers phone)
Sheldon: Ahoy? I like it.

Notes and Trivia

Amy's apartment door number is 314. This is the same number as Pi (3.14), and Albert Einstein's birthday (March 14).

Goofs

None

Cast

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