S05E07 - The Good Guy Fluctuation

No: 94  |  Season: 5   Episode: 7  |  Air Date: 2011-10-27  |  Runtime: mins

Alice: I did evil. Would you be open to a trade? Leonard: Uh, yeah, yeah, sure, I guess. Alice: Okay. Here. This is my number, call me.

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Summary

Sheldon tries to get into the spirit of Halloween by trying to scare the guys after they prank him. Leonard seeks Penny's advice when an attractive comic book artist takes an interest in him.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Dave Goetsch & Maria Ferrari / Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Steven Molaro & Steve Holland

Script

Script: S05E07 - The Good Guy Fluctuation

Quotes

Howard: (after scaring Sheldon and making him faint) Who had money on faints?
Raj: I had peed his pants.
Leonard: Hang on. Looks like everyone's a winner.

Sheldon: The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed that morality is just a fiction used by the herd of inferior human beings to hold back the few superior men.
Leonard: That actually does help.
Sheldon: It's worth noting that he died of syphilis.

Howard: Come on. Admit it, we got you, Sheldon!
Sheldon: Please! Fright depends on an element of surprise. The simple fact is, because I am much smarter than you and able to anticipate your actions...
(Leonard comes up behind him in a mask)
Sheldon: ...it is highly unlikely that you two rubes could ever surprise me.
Raj: He's probably right.
Howard: We can't beat him. He's just too smart.
Sheldon: (satisfied) Gentlemen.
(turns around, sees Leonard in his mask, screams and faints down on the floor)

Bernadette: (off screen) Who is it?
Sheldon: It's me, Sheldon, Mrs. Wolowitz!
Howard: Oh, that's not my mom, that's Bernadette.
Sheldon: Really? That's unsettling.

Leonard: (breaking off from kissing) Dammit. I can't. I can't, I can't do this.
Alice: Uh, is it my tongue stud? 'Cause if that freaks you out you're in for a real surprise later on.

(Sheldon is working on an electric device he plans to trick Howard with)
Sheldon: Hello, Howard. I've realized that you scaring me was all in just. Now, allow me to say... "Good job."
(he shakes hands with himself. He thereby touches the electric device and gets an electric shock, falling down towards the floor)

Sheldon: Oh, the walls are dripping blood, which looks nothing like a phenolphthalein indicator exposed to a sodium carbonate solution.
(reading red paint on the wall)
Sheldon: "See you in hell Sheldon..." The most frightful thing about that is the missing comma!

Stuart: Hot girl, 9 o'clock. Don't everybody look at once.
Raj: What is she doing in a comic book store?
Stuart: I don't know. She might be lost.

(Leonard is getting advice from Penny about whether he should sleep with a local woman while his girlfriend is living in India)
Leonard: Here's the thing: I-I-I'm not one of those guys who sneaks around and sleeps with more than one woman.
Penny: Good for you!
Leonard: Problem is, I want to be one of those guys.
Penny: So, sleep with the new girl and lie to Priya.
Leonard: Oh, that's not who I am.
Penny: Alright, then break it off with the new girl.
Leonard: Oh, now let's not do anything rash. Sh-she's really hot...
Penny: If you like this girl so much, why don't you just end things with Priya?
Leonard: Priya and I are in love. I think we could get married some day.
Penny: Leonard, you're looking for a way to sleep with both women, and have everybody be happy about it.
Leonard: *Now* we're getting somewhere!

Sheldon: You guys forget, I'm from Texas, where we know how to settle a score. Don't ask me, ask Mexico.

(last line of the episode, after Sheldon scares Leonard, who just found out that Priya cheated on him)
Sheldon: Bazinga, punk! Now we're even!

Leonard: Okay, uh, here it is. Is it cheating if a guy has a girlfriend...
Penny: Yeah, probably.

Sheldon: Some ghostly moans, rattling of chains and a witch's cackle, the trifecta of haunted house cliches. Instead of "eek", I say "yawn".

Leonard: Okay, we used to go out, right?
Penny: (dryly) Oh, my God, that's where I know you from.

Leonard: (after Alice writes down her number in his palm) Sorry, my palm is a little sweaty. What's that word?
Alice: Alice.
Leonard: Oh, right! Your name. That makes more sense than "penis".

Sheldon: You're a better man than I, Howard Wolowitz. You put 'er there, you son of a gun!
(holds out his hand)
Howard: Oh, whatever.
(they shake hands, Howard gets the electric shock, and faints)
Bernadette: Oh my God, Howard! What did you do?
Sheldon: (panics) It was a harmless Halloween prank... Look...
Bernadette: Howard has a heart condition! You know that!
Sheldon: Well, I thought he made that up! Isn't hypochondria common idiosyncrasy of Jewish people?
Bernadette: This is adrenaline... we're gonna have to inject it into his heart.
Sheldon: We are?
Bernadette: You are! I'm not strong enough to get it through his chest plate, and we've only got one shot!
(gives the needle to Sheldon)
Sheldon: Oh no! I can't!
Bernadette: Hurry! We're running out of time!
Sheldon: Okay...
Bernadette: Just do it!
Sheldon: Oh God! One... two... three...
(sticks a "needle" in Howard's chest)
Howard: (opens his eyes undramatically, revealing that he was just acting) Trick or treat, bubbeleh.
Sheldon: (while Howard and Bernadette laughs) What? No! You mean all this was just a ruse? Oh, how could I be so STU-U-U-U...
(touches his head with the electronic device and falls down again)

Sheldon: (after trying to scare Raj) I tried to scare an Indian with a snake. Come on, Cooper, you're better than this.

Penny: What does your gut tell you?
Leonard: Go ask Penny, she'll know what to do.

Penny: Did you tell her about Priya?
Leonard: Uh, I was gonna, but I had too many tongues in my mouth.

Priya: (after confessing he kissed another woman) Leonard, relax. It's ok.
Leonard: It is?
Priya: Yeah. These things happen. They happen to everybody.
Leonard: Oh my God, you are amazing. I mean, I don't deserve you. Wh-what do you mean everybody?
Priya: Leonard, I didn't know if I should tell you, but, I kind of cheated on you, too.
Leonard: Kind of?
Priya: A couple of weeks ago, I slept with my ex-boyfriend. So I guess we both messed up a little.
Leonard: No, no, I messed up a little, you messed up a lot.
Priya: Well, it's not a competition.
Leonard: Oh, yeah it is, and you won.

Penny: Did you tell her about Priya?
Leonard: I was gonna but there were too many tongues in my mouth.

Alice: Are you getting this "Next Men"?
Leonard: Uh, yeah, it's issue number 21, first appearance of Hellboy.
Alice: I know. I've been looking for it for years.
Leonard: Sorry.
Alice: Hey, if I pretended to hit on you, could it distract you enough to sneak it away?
Leonard: Yes, but you'd be using your superpowers for evil.
Alice: Damn. I'm forbidden by my Kryptonian father to do so.

Sheldon: (revising a physics equation on his white board) And reverse the spin on the antiproton and gamma becomes alpha, multiplied by a matrix of negative i comma zero, and there we have it: conclusive proof that I am absolutely worthless after 9 o'clock.

Howard: (to Leonard) Did you just pick a girl up in a comic book store?
Stuart: Because if you did, you get your picture up there, on The Wall of Heroes.

Leonard: (after scaring Sheldon a second time) You might be from Texas, but I'm from New Jersey.

Notes and Trivia

Final appearance of Priya Koothrappali (Aarti Mann) in the series. The next episode confirms that Leonard is single again and that he and Priya broke up.

The mask Leonard uses to frighten Sheldon is a mask of the Star Trek (original series) character "Balok" from the The Corbomite Maneuver (1966).

The sketch that Leonard claims was drawn by Jim Lee was in fact drawn by the famous comic book artist at the show's request.

Goofs

None

Cast

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