S05E23 - The Launch Acceleration

No: 110  |  Season: 5   Episode: 23  |  Air Date: 2012-05-03  |  Runtime: mins

Leonard: Again, I'm sorry. You know, with Howard and Bernadette getting married, I got caught up in a little wedding fever. I take it back.

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Summary

NASA cancel, and later reinstate Howard's mission into space, coinciding with his wedding. Leonard inadvertently jeopardizes his relationship with Penny.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Steven Molaro & Jim Reynolds / Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Steve Holland & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S05E23 - The Launch Acceleration

Quotes

Howard: Hey, I was thinking: for our first dance at the wedding, what if we learned the final number from 'Dirty Dancing'?
Bernadette: You're kidding!
Howard: No, come on, how cool would that be? Me, running into your arms; you, lifting me up into the air.
Bernadette: Oh, you're in a good mood.
Howard: Yeah, well, why wouldn't I be? I'm marrying the girl of my dreams, and finally got my mother to agree not to come on our honeymoon.

Sheldon: Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: I got you that book last year; wasn't everything in there?
Sheldon: No. I'm having a relationship problem with Amy. And by the way, that book gave me nightmares.

Sheldon: (exiting change room) I'm going to need a larger shirt! This one's a little tight under the arms.
Jimmy: Okay.
(takes shirt)
Leonard: Do you think maybe it's tight because you're wearing long underwear?
Sheldon: Yes, of course that's why it's tight.
Leonard: All right, let me rephrase the question. Why are you wearing long underwear?
Sheldon: You're kidding! Shouldn't the question be "Why *aren't* you?"
Leonard: No, it should be "Why are you?"
Sheldon: Leonard, these rental tuxedos have been worn by *hundreds* of sweaty strangers. Yeah, I don't like my own sweat touching my skin; how do you think I feel about theirs?
Jimmy: Why don't you slip this on?
Sheldon: Said the hangman, offering a noose.
(returns to change room)
Raj: Well, that wasn't as entertaining as when he rents bowling shoes, but it was right up there.

Amy: (Amy is in a Star Trek tunic holding a medical tricorder near Sheldon) Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor... Star Trek style.
(winks)
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard.
Sheldon: (to Amy) Don't stop.

Howard: Well, that's it. My orders have been rescinded; I am officially no-go to space.
Leonard: I'm sorry, Howard. But I gotta tell you, I'm a little relieved you're not going.
Howard: Why?
Leonard: Come on, you were gonna go up in a rocket designed in the 1960s by the Russians.
Howard: Yeah, so?
Leonard: When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, "Ooh, check out this Blu-Ray player, it must be good, it was built in Russia."?
Howard: Well, their technology isn't that bad.
Raj: When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule, you free fall, from space, at 500 miles per hour, and the only thing that slows you down is a little parachute that pops out right before you crash into the ground. And the whole thing was designed by the same brilliant minds who were unable to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Howard: Right, well, whatever. I wasn't worried.
Raj: You weren't?
Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch Star Trek; I live it.
Raj: Oh, please, I don't remember the episode of Star Trek where the guy never goes to space, and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
Howard: Make all the jokes you want, but there's only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.
Sheldon: Ah, much better!
Leonard: You must be burning up
Sheldon: A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them. Well, I cut quite the dashing yet hygienic figure, don't I? I look like The Flash, about to get married. Oh, a tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord!
(Runs outside)
Jimmy: Uh, where is he going?
Leonard: He keeps emergency Purell in the car.

Sheldon: I must say, I was surprised you chose to spend our Date Night in your apartment. As I mentioned, the Pasadena City Council is debating longer crosswalk times, and later the Lego store is having a Midnight Madness Sale. You ask anyone, that's a hot date.
Amy: Tempting choices but, I have something special planned for tonight.
Sheldon: What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny Lego Indiana Jones?
Amy: With our friends moving forward in their relationships, I have decided that we should make progress in ours as well.
Sheldon: Dear Lord! Two years ago we didn't even know each other. And now, I'm in your apartment after dark. How much faster can this thing go?
Amy: I had a feeling you'd be reluctant which is why I'm going to dip into my neurobiological bag of tricks.
Sheldon: Oh! You brain monkeys kill me. Dip away.
Amy: I've devised an experiment that I believe will increase your feelings for me, in an accelerated time frame.
Sheldon: Well, how do you propose to do that? I hope you're not thinking about some sort of LSD thought control. Because there's only one mind-expanding drug that this man enjoys, and that's called school.
Amy: Human beings form emotional attachments as they grow up. In your case, to your mother, superheroes, etc. I'm going to attempt an experiment that will get you to transfer those feelings to me.
Sheldon: Well, seems what's on the menu tonight is malarkey, with a big side of poppycock.
Amy: We'll see. Let's start with a little romantic dinner music, shall we?
Sheldon: Super Mario Bros. theme?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: I see what you're doing. You're attempting to build on the work of Ebbinghaus by triggering an involuntary memory of me playing that game. Admittedly the happiest 600 hours of my childhood. But it won't work!
Amy: Fine! There's no reason we still can't have a lovely dinner. Why don't you have a seat.
(Sheldon hums the background music, while Amy smiles)
Amy: May I offer you something to drink?
Sheldon: You know I don't drink.
Amy: Not even strawberry Quik?
Sheldon: I love strawberry Quik. It's my favorite pink fluid. Narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.
Amy: Oh, I know. I think it will go nicely with what I have prepared for dinner.
Sheldon: Spaghetti with little pieces of hot dog cut up in it!
Amy: Just like your mommy used to make.
Sheldon: Oh! Yummy yummy! We should do this more often.

Mr. Rostenkowski: (cracks walnuts with his bare hand) Walnut?
Howard: No, thank you. I'm allergic.
Mr. Rostenkowski: Ah sure. My partner used to have that. He's dead now.
Howard: From nuts?
Mr. Rostenkowski: Nah, his wife shot him. But she was nuts, so in a way.

Howard: I'm going to level with you. I'm terrified about going into space. Y'know, what if I don't make it back?
Mr. Rostenkowski: It's gonna be okay, son.
Howard: You really think so?
Mr. Rostenkowski: Of course. A pretty girl like Bernadette, she'll find a new guy.

Leonard: Before I come in, you should know...
(holds up a gas canister)
Leonard: I have gas.
Penny: For the record, not your worst opening line.

Sheldon: Amy has embarked on a campaign to increase my feelings for her, by making me happy.

Howard: (phone rings, Howard presses speaker-phone) Howard Wolowitz.
Dave Roeger: Hey, Howard. Dave Roeger here at NASA. We need to talk about your upcoming mission.
Howard: Yes, yes! I've been doing my pushups. I'm still stuck at nine, but... that's going all the way down with no-one holding me.
Dave Roeger: That's great, uh, but that's not why I called. We've run into a bit of a snafu. Your Soyuz capsule failed the pressurization test, so, bottom line, mission's been scrubbed.
Howard: (picks up handset) You're kidding. So what does that mean?
Howard: Uh-huh.
Howard: Uh-huh.
Howard: Boy, I gotta tell you I'm really disappointed. This was my dream ever since I was a little kid.
Howard: Okay, thanks for the call.
Howard: Yeah, you too.
(he hangs up)
Howard: Yes! thank heavens!
(laughs hysterically)
Howard: I'm not going to die in space! Whoo, now I can die the way God intended; in my late fifties with a heartful of pastrami.

Notes and Trivia

The gas Leonard brings to Penny is Sulfur Hexafluoride. It is 6 times denser than air, thus causing the 'Darth Vader' voice. It is an inert gas and safe to breathe in small quantities.

Goofs

None

Cast

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