S12E10 - The VCR Illumination
No: 265 |
Season: 12
Episode: 10 |
Air Date: 2018-12-06 |
Runtime: mins
Summary
A VHS tape from Sheldon's past inspires him and Amy not to give up when they're still feeling down about their theory being disproven. Bernadette turns into a pageant mom when she tries to help Howard with his Magic Castle audition.
Director and Writers
Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Steve Holland & Steven Molaro & Bill Prady / Teleplay by: Maria Ferrari & Andy Gordon & Jeremy Howe
Script
Script: S12E10 - The VCR Illumination
Quotes
Amy: I guess we could bury it in the park.
Sheldon: Where dogs do their business and other dogs sniff that business? I don't think so.
Penny: What would you like to do, Sheldon?
Sheldon: The only fitting send-off: a Viking funeral.
Leonard: You mean, like, push it out into a lake and shoot it with a flaming arrow?
Sheldon: This guy gets it.
Penny: How about a bathtub and a match?
Sheldon: How about a bathtub and a flaming arrow?
Amy: How about a bathtub, a match and an ice-cold Yoo-Hoo after?
Sheldon: Sold!
Bernadette: Look. I know you still want this, and I can help you. All those pageants I did as a kid? I could teach you how to present yourself, connect with the judges, sabotage the competition.
Howard: Whoa, whoa. No one's sabotaging anybody.
Bernadette: Of course not. Little girls in ball growns trip. It happens. Trust me, I'm gonna be the pageant mom to you that my mom was to me.
Howard: I thought you hated your mom for making you do that.
Bernadette: (sternly) More talk like that and you're not getting any dinner!
(pleasantly)
Bernadette: Amazing how it all comes back.
Amy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Eating, reading, watching television, listening to the radio. What does it look like I'm doing?
Amy: Is that asparagus? I thought you hate asparagus.
Sheldon: I thought so, too. But I also thought super-asymmetry was a good idea, so what else am I wrong about?
Amy: Oh, so now you're re-evaluating every opinion you've ever had?
Sheldon: Yes. I am following the example of 17th century philosopher Ren? Descartes. He subjected all his beliefs to radical doubt so that he could build a bedrock belief and build his cognitive life back up on firm principles.
(taking a bite of asparagus and spitting it out)
Sheldon: Ugh! Still yucky, still yucky.
Bernadette: Are you getting sick?
Howard: No, I have glitter in my nose.
Bernadette: Just your nose? Consider yourself lucky.
Sheldon: I know this is just a scientific theory, but to me, it was more than that. It described the universe in a new and beautiful way. I want that to be the universe we live in, but I guess it's not.
Penny: Amy, would you like to shoot the arrow?
Leonard: (she sets it on fire, and he puts the dish in the tub) It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?
Amy: Yeah, it is.
Sheldon: It's getting kind of close to the curtain.
Leonard: It's in water. It's fine.
Penny: (the shower curtain catches on fire) Oh!
Leonard: Oh!
Penny: Oh!
Sheldon: Looks like we both had theories that were wrong.
Amy: "Fine with Flags"?
Sheldon: Yes. Flags. Up there flapping around on poles. If you think about it, they're just the strippers of the emblem world.
Amy: Well, I got something that I might cheer you up. It is the emergency pep talk you made when you were a kid.
Sheldon: Oh, that. I was saving that for the day they stop making "Star Wars" movies. I don't think that's ever gonna happen.
Amy: How long has it been since you've seen it?
Sheldon: Not since the day I recorded it. No, I had just watched "Back to the Future II", where Marty McFly gets a glimpse of his future self and that got me thinking, the day may come where I needed my help, like they did with that movie. That was not great.
Amy: Sheldon, I know you're upset about the paper, okay? I'm upset, too.
Sheldon: I mean, I was so sure we were right. Every fiber of my being felt like this was it. This was the one. How can I trust my instincts anymore?
Amy: Well, just because our theory was wrong, that doesn't mean you're wrong about everything.
Sheldon: Doesn't it? I've always thought I hated jazz. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it's great to hear all the notes at once.
(he turns the stereo on; after a moment, he turns it off in impatience)
Sheldon: I'm trying! I'm really trying!
Howard: What's all this?
Bernadette: Your magic tricks from the garage. Your wands, your top hat with the stuffed mouse inside.
Howard: I never had a stuffed mouse.
Bernadette: Okay, do not wear this hat.
Howard: Why is it all in the living room?
Bernadette: Because I think the Great Howdini deserves to be a member of the Magic Castle.
Howard: That's sweet, but I'm not that guy anymore. I've outgrown it.
Bernadette: (holding up an old pair of skinny jeans to his waist) Have you?
Young Sheldon: Sheldon, never forget. No matter how bad things seem, you al...
Sheldon: (seeing the video has been taped over) What? What... No! N... My dad taped over it with one of his stupid high school football games!
Amy: Sorry.
Sheldon: You know, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters.
Amy: Is there anything I can do?
Sheldon: Yes. You can build me a time machine so I can go back and tell my younger self to give up, because nothing's gonna work out the way he wants.
(he storms off to the bedroom and shuts the door)
Amy: (quietly) I was thinking a nice cup of leaf soup.
Penny: Okay, Sheldon and Amy are still pretty upset about their theory being disproved.
Leonard: So we have made a list of subjects for everyone to avoid.
Penny: Symmetry.
Leonard: Asymmetry.
Penny: Oh, "Sim City". Sounds too much like symmetry.
Leonard: That also applies to "The Simpsons", Simba from "The Lion King" and cymbals.
Penny: Russia or Russian in any context. The country, the dressing, the roulette.
Leonard: Uh, also, no talk of "Rocky IV".
Bernadette: Why "Rocky IV"?
Howard: Because he fights a Russian.
(to Penny and Leonard)
Howard: I'm sorry about her.
Penny: Ever since his paper got disproven, he's been a wreck. He's been sad and... and angry. He just seems kind of broken.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Well, it sounds like he may be grieving.
Penny: Really? Over a theory?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Of course. You can grieve over any emotional loss. The more you care about something, the greater the trauma of losing it.
Leonard: Oh, boy. He cared about this a lot.
Penny: Yeah. What can we do to help him?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Well, grieving is a process. Every culture has its own rituals and traditions to facilitate mourning. The ancient Egyptians had their mummification, the Tibetans had their sky funerals...
Leonard: And when I was little and my dog died, my mom sat me down and very gently told me that she wished the truck had hit my dad instead.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: I was trying to lighten the mood. Your dog had just died.
Leonard: Look, t-this might seem strange, but, uh, we thought it might help you get some closure if you had a chance to properly say goodbye to your paper.
Penny: Yeah, you know, we could say a few words, you could talk about what it meant to you, and-and we could bury it somewhere.
Amy: You mean have a funeral for our theory?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: That's ridiculous.
Leonard: I thought so, too, but my mom thought it might work.
Sheldon: (perking up) Beverly thought it would help? We should try it.
Leonard: Wha... how come when you thought it was my idea...
Sheldon: Leonard, please, this is not about you.
Amy: He's re-thinking everything. How long is it gonna be before he gets to me?
Penny: (sympathetic) Oh...
Leonard: It's that bad, huh?
Amy: I'm afraid so. I just... I don't know what to do.
Leonard: I have something that might help. It's... it's a recording of the only person whose opinion Sheldon actually respects.
Amy: Hawking? Feynman?
Leonard: Himself.
(retrieving a VHS tape from a wall safe)
Leonard: It's a pep talk he made when he was a kid. He gave it to me years ago and told me to save it for a real emergency.
Penny: What? You didn't break it out when he declared his room a sovereign nation and waged a trade war against us?
Leonard: His major export is talking. I didn't want that anyway.
Howard: Hello. I'm the Great Howdini from Altadena, California. I have no brothers or sisters and my favorite thing to eat is grilled cheese.
Raj: (unimpressed) When does the magic start?
Bernadette: It already started.
Bernadette: Is that a VCR?
Howard: Yeah. Amy asked if we had one she could borrow, and I just want to make sure it still works.
Bernadette: What's on the tape?
Howard: Not sure. I used to record a lot of "Jeopardy!" for my mom, but if I push play and you see some naked people...
Bernadette: Got it. What is porn?
Howard: Ooh, we were looking for "vintage '80s erotica", but I'll accept it.
Sheldon: It's interesting. I've always thought that my father's journey and my own were so different, but he also faced failure and setbacks. Maybe our lives mirrored each other more than I thought.
Amy: So, from one viewpoint, you and your father's lives are asymmetrical, but from another vantage point, they're symmetrical. Sheldon, what if symmetry and asymmetry are observer-relative? That would mean that the Russian paper was right...
Sheldon: But only from one perspective. If we look at it from a deeper view in more dimensions, our theory still stands.
Amy: Not only stands, i-it might be an even bigger idea than the one we were originally proposing!
Sheldon: Go get your laptop. We have a paper to fix.
Amy: Okay.
Sheldon: (glancing at the paused tape) Thanks, Dad. We're gonna give 'em hell.
Bernadette: Come on, you're a good magician.
Howard: Really? You always called magic dumb.
Bernadette: You can be good at something dumb. You know what? You should audition now.
Howard: It's fine. I don't need to be a member of the most elite magical society on the face of the earth.
Bernadette: Sounds like you still want it. And I don't want our kids to see this tape one day and think their dad is a quitter.
Howard: We don't have to show it to them.
Bernadette: Oh, I am definitely showing it to them.
Penny: How you guys doing?
Amy: A little better, if you can believe it.
Leonard: (seeing him face-down on the couch) Sheldon?
Sheldon: (muffled) Go away.
Leonard: Buddy, come on, let us help you.
Sheldon: The only person who could help me was erased by the Medford High Wolves.
Penny: Oh, that's funny. My high school was also the Wolves.
(seeing his look)
Penny: No? Not now? Okay.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: To what do I owe this call?
Leonard: I need your professional advice.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Well, I'd love to help you out, dear, but I'm very busy at the moment. Perhaps we can schedule a time next week.
Penny: It's about Sheldon.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Oh. Well, I-I suppose I can spare a minute or two.
Leonard: Wh-why did you just say you're too busy, but...
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Leonard, please. Not everything is about you.
Bernadette: Hey, I'm gonna take tomorrow off so we can spend the whole day running the act.
Howard: You know what? It has been so much fun working on this with you, but...
Bernadette: But what?
Howard: It hasn't. I'm not gonna audition.
Bernadette: Hey, I didn't raise a quitter!
Howard: You didn't raise me at all!
Amy: Oh, look how cute you were!
Sheldon: Amy, please. Of course I was cute. Look how I turned out.
Amy: Well, that was a nice speech. Too bad it didn't work.
Sheldon: Maybe it did.
Amy: What do you mean?
Sheldon: I've been acting like the game is over, but it's only halftime. And there's a lot more physics left to play.
Amy: Wow. Was that your first-ever sports metaphor?
Sheldon: It was! And I think it was a home run. That's two!
Penny: Whatcha eatin'?
Leonard: Chicken-fried steak.
Penny: What? You can't have chicken-fried steak first thing in the morning!
Leonard: Hey, you knew I was a bad boy when you married me. Come on, you want a piece of this?
Penny: You, or the steak?
Leonard: Me. I'm not sharing the steak.
Amy: Is that your dad?
Sheldon: It is.
Amy: I've only seen pictures of him.
George Sr.: (on the tape) I know we're down, by a lot. And to be honest with you, we're probably not gonna win this one. In fact, we're definitely not gonna win this one.
Amy: Do you want me to turn it off?
George Sr.: But we're not gonna quit, either. And if we do lose, you need to know that doesn't make you losers. You learn as much about who you are and what you're made of from failing as you do from success. Maybe more. So you can spend the next half feeling sorry for yourselves, or you can get out there and give 'em hell!
Georgie: Yeah! Let's give 'em hell!
George Sr.: Oh... watch your mouth, your mom might...
Sheldon: (pausing the tape) I remember that game.
Amy: Did they win?
Sheldon: Oh, no. No, they lost so bad, the other team let one of their cheerleaders try to kick a field goal.
Amy: I'm really worried about Sheldon. I've never seen him this down.
Penny: Have you tried making him a cup of tea?
Amy: He's re-evaluated tea. Now he thinks it's nothing but leaf soup.
Leonard: That's a good point.
Penny: No, it's not.
Leonard: No, it's not.
Bernadette: Look, I get that you're scared, but we just have to push past that.
Howard: I'm not scared. I don't like the act. It's over the top and weird and has more jazz hands than magic.
Bernadette: Why didn't you say something earlier?
Howard: You seemed like you were so happy, and then when I tried to say something, you seemed like you were so mad.
Bernadette: Hey, this isn't about me. I just wanted you to have your dream, and I wanted to control everything about how you looked and acted so that your victory was mine!
Howard: Well, that's... honest.
Bernadette: Put it back on. You look adorable.
Howard: It's just a practice tape from when I was trying to become a member of the Magic Castle.
Bernadette: I didn't know you auditioned there.
Howard: Oh, I never went through with it. I watched the tape and realized I wasn't good enough. You know that trick where you saw a mannequin in half?
Bernadette: Don't you mean a lady?
Howard: Thank God it was not a lady. I'd just be getting out of jail.
Sheldon: Why are you watching that?
Amy: I'm just looking to see if there's anything left of your speech.
Sheldon: It's not important. I remember everything I said.
Amy: And?
Sheldon: It was good. It just would've meant more coming from me.
Penny: We should just try and avoid anything that makes them think of their project or science or Nobel Prizes or successes or failures.
Amy: (entering) Hi.
(calls of greeting)
Amy: What are you guys doing?
Bernadette: Nothing.
Sheldon: Nothing? Like what my career has come to? Thanks a lot!
(He leaves, upset)
Howard: (to Bernadette) Nice going.
Young Sheldon: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello, Sheldon.
Young Sheldon: If you're watching this, I assume something bad has happened. Something unfortunate and unforeseen. Something that's making you question everything.
Sheldon: I'm so smart.
Young Sheldon: Now just to make sure it's really you watching this and not an imposter, what am I thinking of? On the count of three. One, two, three.
Young Sheldon, Sheldon: Robot monkey butler.
Young Sheldon: Okay, good.
Amy: Should I leave you two alone?
Bernadette: Howard and I have been working really hard on his audition, so it'll be helpful to get another set of eyes on it.
Raj: Well, as someone who's watched every episode of "America's Got Talent", I'm getting pretty good at telling when some American's got talent. Seriously. Heidi and I agree, like, 90% of the time.
Bernadette: All right. Don't be afraid to be brutally honest. Like my mom used to say when I was doing pageants, "Tears only make your eyes sparkle brighter."
Raj: That is both sad and true. Half my Instagram is after a good cry.
Notes and Trivia
Second time Lance Barber has been on the show. The first time he played one of Leonard's old bullies in The Speckerman Recurrence (2011), and this time he plays Sheldon's dad, George Cooper Sr., whom he also plays in Young Sheldon (2017).
The Chuck Lorre vanity card (#604) for this episode is written in Russian. It translates to "guilty" in English.
The comic book Howard is reading on the couch is Mister Miracle #12, published on November 14, 2018 by DC Comics.
Title reference: Sheldon is inspired by an old speech that was taped on a VCR.
Goofs
None
Cast
