S04E04 - The Hot Troll Deviation

No: 67  |  Season: 4   Episode: 4  |  Air Date: 2010-10-14  |  Runtime: mins

Sheldon: (referring to an over sized desk) Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose! Raj: Seeing as its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on!

Previous Next

Summary

Howard tries to get Penny's help in winning back Bernadette, but first has to confess the embarrassing reason why they broke up in the first place. Raj and Sheldon clash over a desk.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Steven Molaro & Adam Faberman / Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Lee Aronsohn & Maria Ferrari

Script

Script: S04E04 - The Hot Troll Deviation

Quotes

(Howard is asking Penny for help to get back together with Bernadette, but Penny first wants to know why they broke up)
Howard: It's embarrassing.
Penny: Yeah, that's what I'm counting on. Spill.

Sheldon: (referring to an over sized desk) Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
Raj: Seeing as its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on!

Sheldon: I see what's going on. This is the opening salvo in what will be an escalating series of juvenile tit-for-tat exchanges. Well titted.
Raj: Thank you
Sheldon: Stand by for my upcoming tat!

Leonard: That's great news about you and Bernadette.
Howard: Yeah, I think I'm gonna take her to miniature golf.
Leonard: Oh, I guess for you guys, that's like regular golf.
Howard: Short jokes, really? You're like a quarter of an inch taller than me.
Leonard: And don't you forget it.

Raj: Why can't I buy my own desk?
Howard: Yeah, why can't he buy his own desk?
Sheldon: Because...
(long pause)
Raj: Because?
Sheldon: Because it's my office.

Bernadette: Howard, you did have a real woman. I was right there in the next room while you were clicking that troll's brains out.

Howard: How am I gonna play this? Sophisticated and relaxed? Friendly, noncommittal? Cold and distant?
(Bernadette turns around. Howard dives under the table)
Bernadette: (as she walks by the table) Hi guys.
Leonard: Hey.
Sheldon: Hello.
(peers under the table)
Sheldon: I see you decided to go with pathetic and frightened.
Raj: It's one of his best moves.

Penny: It's passion fruit. New on the menu.
Bernadette: I know. I work here.

Bernadette: Howard, a girl doesn't go out with a man like you, with your looks, your fancy patter, and your tight hoochie pants if she isn't expecting him to eventually make the move.

Leonard: (Walking by Sheldon's office door) My God, what is that smell?
(Knocks on the door-Sheldon emerges wearing a gasmask)
Sheldon: Yes?
Leonard: What are you doing in there?
Sheldon: I'm making hydrogen sulfide and ammonia gas. Just a little experiment in pest control.
Raj: (Raj emerges from the office) That's not gonna work, dude, I grew up in India: an entire sub-continent where cows walk in the street and nobody has ever had a solid bowel movement.
Sheldon: Well, we'll just see how long you can hold out.
Raj: Well, we'll just see how you noxious gas fares against my cinnamon-apple scented aromatherapy candles.
(Retreats into the office. Sheldon turns to Leonard and shakes his head)
Leonard: Didn't you say you're making hydrogen sulfide gas?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Isn't that flammable?
Sheldon: Highly.
(Leonard looks at him with raised eyebrows)
Sheldon: Oh, dear.
Raj: (There is a flash and a bang from inside the office. Leonard and Sheldon step back quickly. Raj emerges blackened and dishevelled with a parakeet in a cage) This is not over.

Katee Sackhoff: (to Howard while he's kissing Bernadette in the car) Now make the move.
George Takei: Uh-uh. Too soon.
Katee Sackhoff: Trust me, she's ready. Make the move.
George Takei: No, no, no. A lady wants to be wooed, courted slowly.
Katee Sackhoff: How would you know?
George Takei: I read.

Sheldon: Why on earth are you telling me all this?
Leonard: I don't know. Sometimes your movements are so lifelike, I forget you're not a real boy.

Howard: Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me?
Penny: Not since I found out the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it.

Howard: Now, where were we?
Bernadette: I believe you were about to rip off my uniform with your teeth.
Howard: Bernadette? What are you doing here?
Bernadette: Well, if I had to guess I'd say I'm here because you saw me earlier this evening and you're still hung up on me.
Howard: No, I'm not.
Katee Sackhoff: Clearly you are. Otherwise, based on past experience, we'd be done by now.
Howard: Okay, I'm a little confused here.
George Takei: Oh my, can I help?
Howard: Not that kind of confused!
Bernadette: What's George Takei doing here?
Katee Sackhoff: Howard, do you have latent homosexual tendencies?
Howard: Of course not!
George Takei: So you say, yet here I am.

Raj: You said I could get a desk.
Sheldon: This isn't a desk! This is a... Brobdingnagian monstrosity!
Raj: Is that the American idiom for "giant big-ass desk"?
Sheldon: It's actually British.

Katee Sackhoff: Hello Howard, I've missed you.
Howard: I've missed you, Katee Sackhoff.
Katee Sackhoff: One question.
Howard: Anything.
Katee Sackhoff: Why am I wearing my Battlestar Galactica flight suit in bed?
Howard: Why are you in bed with me? If we start to question this, it all falls apart.
Katee Sackhoff: Sorry. Oh ravish me, Howard. My loins ache for you.
Howard: Okay, if you insist,
Mrs. Wolowitz: (shouting) Howard! Have you seen my girdle?
Howard: (shouting) No, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: (shouting) I can't find it, and I'm late for my Weight Watchers meeting!
Howard: (shouting) Maybe it committed suicide! Leave me alone!

Mrs. Wolowitz: (shouting) Howard! I found my girdle! It was in the dryer!
Howard: (shouting) Great, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: (shouting) I think it shrunk! I'm spilling out like the Pillsbury Doughboy here!
Howard: (quietly to himself) And with that mental picture I think we're done for the evening.

Leonard: So Howard and Bernadette agreed to discuss it over coffee.
Sheldon: Quick question.
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Why are you telling me all this?
Leonard: I don't know. I guess your movements are so life-like I sometimes forget you're not a real boy.

Howard: I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together.
Leonard: Yeah, it's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.
Raj: Has it occurred to you you're missing the big picture? If you look at neutron scattering data...
Sheldon: Oh, Penny? Penny?
Penny: What's up?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking.

Penny: Well, I'd ask you guys if you want dessert, but I know Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays, and even if Raj wanted something, he couldn't tell me. Howard won't order anything, but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment involving the words pie or cheesecake. And Leonard's lactose-intolerant, so he can't eat anything here without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal.

Raj: You're so arrogant! If you were a superhero, your name would be Captain Arrogant. And you know what your superpower would be? Arrogance!
Sheldon: You're wrong again. If my superpower were arrogance, my name would be Dr. Arroganto.

Katee Sackhoff: George, let me ask you something: how did you deal with being typecast as a science fiction icon?
George Takei: It's difficult. You try and stretch as an actor, do Strinberg, O'Neill, but all they want is "Course laid in, Captain."
Katee Sackhoff: Tell me about it. It's frakking frustrating.

Notes and Trivia

No scenes occurred in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment.

Sheldon describes Raj's desk as a "brobdingnagian monstrosity", explaining that it is a British idiom. He's referring to the imaginary giants' kingdom of Brobdingnag in Jonathan's Swift's book "Gulliver's Travels". Brobdingnagian means excessively large.

The costume George Takei is wearing is the same costume he wears in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986).

The scene when Howard is "alone" with himself in his bedroom features the theme music from A Man and a Woman (1966), by French composer Francis Lai, who is possibly most famous as being the composer of the theme to the film Love Story (1970). It is performed by the piano duo of Art Ferrante and Lou Teicher.

Goofs

None

Cast

Privacy Policy | Affiliate Link Disclosure | Contact Us