S05E04 - The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

No: 91  |  Season: 5   Episode: 4  |  Air Date: 2011-10-06  |  Runtime: mins

Penny: Um, Raj, there's someone I want you to meet. This is my friend Emily. I know her from my spin class. Raj, relax. She can't hear you. She's deaf.

Previous Next

Summary

Penny sets up Raj with a deaf friend, not knowing that she's actually a gold digger, and Sheldon decides to let his minor decisions rest on the roll of the dice.

Director and Writers

Director: Mark Cendrowski
Writers: Story by: Chuck Lorre & Dave Goetsch & Anthony Del Broccolo / Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Steven Molaro & Steve Holland

Script

Script: S05E04 - The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Quotes

Penny: (whispering) Oh, here she comes!
Howard: Smart. Whisper, so the deaf chick can't hear you.

Penny: He is cuter now that I know he's rich.

Sheldon: The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face to face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?
Howard: I say, "Hey, Ma! What's for dinner?"
Sheldon: (Sheldon rolls dice) Seventeen. The ogre is amused by your joke and allows you to pass. And by the by, I liked it too.

Raj: Tell her, her eyes shimmer like opalescent lilies in the lake of the palace of the celestial maidens.
Howard: Really? That's the first thing you want to say?
Raj: I worked on it all night. Use it.
Howard: Look, I don't know the sign for opalescent.
Raj: Then spell it.
Howard: I don't know how to spell it.
Raj: You're blowing this for me!
Howard: (signs) He likes your eyes.
Raj: You're making me sound like a caveman.
Howard: She says, "Thank you, you have nice eyes too."
Raj: Ask her how many children she wants and whatever she says, say, "Me too".
Howard: No.

Penny: (sees Howard ogling at a woman in a gym) Really, Howard? You're engaged to my friend.
Howard: Hey, Bernadette doesn't need to know how I rev up my engine so long as I park the car in the right garage.
Penny: I can't believe you're engaged to my friend.

Penny: (to Emily) Can we talk to you about Raj?
Howard: She says: "Sure, what about him?"
Penny: Raj is naive. He hasn't dated a whole lot of women...
(Howard stops signing here, as he gets distracted by two beautiful women at the reception desk behind them)
Penny: ... and I'm concerned that, without meaning to, you might be taking advantage of him, by letting him buy lots of expensive things and I...
(realizing that Howard isn't signing anymore)
Penny: Howard! Focus. Tell her what I'm saying.
Howard: Right!
(signing)
Howard: Are you a gold digger or not?
(Penny looks at him, disgusted by him. Emily gets infuriated, and starts to sign with rage)
Howard: Oh, uh... something, something... Who the something do you think you are? Mind your own something business and go something yourself!
(Emily leaves, and Penny looks at him in shock)
Howard: Oh, I get this now...

Raj: Dude, what's she saying?
Howard: It's a funny story about a puppy. Just smile and laugh.
(Howard is not paying attention while he texts Bernadette)
Howard: Quick, quick, stop smiling.
Raj: What? Why?
Howard: The puppy died. It choked on a doll head. Sad face! Sad face!.

Sheldon: Can't figure out what to do? I remember those days! If you'll excuse me, I have to...
(stands up, rolling dice)
Sheldon: Stay right here.
(sits down)

Raj: (to Emily) Hi.
Howard: (as Emily signs) She says it's nice to meet you.
Raj: Does she really mean that or did she sign that sarcastically?

Howard: Really? On Dungeons and Dragons I enter a dungeon and find a dragon? Isn't that a little on the nose?
Sheldon: When you play Chutes and Ladders, do you complain about all the chutes and ladders?

Penny: This girl is trouble! What kind of relationship is it where you buy her gifts, and she gives you sex?
Raj: The best one I ever had!

Raj: Mm, oh, cheesecake, you're just as good as a woman, even though I can't have sex with you.
Howard: Try throwing it in the microwave for a few seconds.

Raj: Tell her I have a deep, sexy voice, like James Earl Jones.
Howard: She... she doesn't know how James Earl Jones sounds like!
Raj: Great. Then she won't know I'm lying.

Leonard: Oh, I know they have money. But I don't think it's that much.
Sheldon: No, you're wrong. See, as you know, a few years ago I achieved one of my lesser dreams and became a notary public. From time to time I noterized banking documents for Raj. The Koothrappalis aren't just rich. They're Richie Rich rich.
Penny: So how much is that?
Sheldon: About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck.
Howard: What the hell, the last time we went to the zoo, that son of a bitch made me buy him a churro.
Leonard: Listen guys, I'm sorry. I don't want to be rude, but I need to go call Raj's sister, who I love so much. So vastly much.
Penny: Okay, so he's got money and it's a few gifts and a car.
Howard: And she got him to pay off all her credit cards.
Penny: What? He paid off her credit cards? Damn it, I could have dated Raj for a couple months.

Penny: Mustache is looking good there, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Don't thank me, thank the dice. They told me what percentage of my face to shave.
Howard: Why are you still doing this?
Sheldon: Because it's working. In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions, I have co-authored two papers in notable peer review journals, and I'm close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle.
Leonard: You forgot to mention got chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants.
Sheldon: The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.

Sheldon: I actually have information about Raj that would be helpful with this discussion.
(continues to eat, without further explanation. The others looks curiously at him)
Leonard: Could you tell us...?
Sheldon: Let's see...
(rolls dice)
Sheldon: Snake eyes. Sorry, bud.
Penny: Hang on... Doubles. Roll again.
Sheldon: (rolls again) Okay, get this. It doesn't matter if he's showering her with gifts. Because the Koothrappali's are vastly wealthy.
Penny: What do you mean, "vastly wealthy"?
Sheldon: Well, wealthy means a lot of money, and vastly means even more. I'm not sure what's tripping you up.

Penny: I can't believe Raj has a girlfriend.
(Sheldon rolls his dices)
Sheldon: Me neither.

Howard: She asks if you play any instrument.
Raj: No, but when I was six years old, I tried to start a boyband called Frankie Goes to Bollywood.

(Penny and Howard have just confronted Raj's girlfriend Emily to check if she's a golddigger)
Raj: (Yelling) How dare you ambush my girlfriend at the gym?
Penny: We didn't mean for it to be an ambush! It just, it's kind of impossible not to sneak up on deaf people!

Raj: I don't know if I want to play anymore.
Sheldon: Because you don't have a girlfriend? Good lord, if that becomes a reason to not play Dungeons & Dragons, this game's in serious trouble.

Notes and Trivia

At Wil Wheaton's party, two of the background guests are played by D.C. Fontana, writer for Star Trek (1966), Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987) and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993); and David Gerrold, writer for the same series and Star Trek: The Animated Series (1973). They are the two people seen talking to Stuart when Sheldon enters.

Penny is wearing a Captain America t-shirt towards the end of this episode.

The poster on the wall in Wil Wheaton's house is a signed copy of a Stand by Me (1986) poster.

The sword that is featured in the opening shot was an actual sword from Game of Thrones (2011). It was valued at $10,000 and Johnny Galecki was reluctant to wield it.

Where most episodes take place over a few days, this one takes place over a month, as mentioned by Raj, and illustrated by how Sheldon managed to grow a mustache and Raj to learn sign language.

Goofs

None

Cast

Privacy Policy | Affiliate Link Disclosure | Contact Us